The cutting out/cutting down alcohol thread (part 7)

DEBTMONKEY1A

Sim...why pay off something that will be written off in the DRO anyway?? The official receiver will see through the fact that someone has paid it off therefore still giving a possibility that the receiver could see it as preferential treatment....DON'T pay it...honestly! The OR will not revoke your DRO because of the circumstances in which you got the moneyshop loan-as Simon said 'your state of mind could not have been right at the time you took the loan' (depression & anxiety is after all a mental illness)...I'd avoid the stress of falling out with your G/F (like i said go away somewhere for 2 nights or so with her £500!!!!)....& do the DRO asap...so you can get on with your life. Also..I'll say it again (saw it on other thread!!!)...your A&L a/c is TOAST-forget about it & stay booze free!

skintscottishgirl

SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »

Really can not see a way out of this, and my blood pressure is through the roof.

Deep breaths and caaaalllllmmmmm doooowwwwwnnnnnn

You are stressing into a frenzy try to distract yourself maybe take a walk or something?:)

DEBTMONKEY1A

Sim...just do the DRO....make the decision & you can start afresh.....my dad has written books on psychology, etc & one of his mantras was 'don't think-act! Do it now'!!! As scottishskintgirl says-you're complicating things & making yourself too stressed...you do not have the money to pay your debts off-END OF. So do the DRO very soon!

Off out myself now to get some fresh air & water my chillis!

graemecarter

Sim,

I cannot advise on your financial predicament. Good luck with all that.

If it is the drink that got you into this mess, then staying away from that first drink has to be your number one priority.

When times are tough for me, I need to be honest with myself and ask myself what have I done today to protect me against taking that first drink.
If the answer is 'nothing', then I am not taking responsibility, and am vulnerable. If I drink, all that self-loathing and despair is on me in a flash. It means I dig myself a little deeper, and crawling out the hole is harder.

The only person that made me drink was myself. No-one else pours it down my throat. Wife, kids, boss, creditors, etc are not responsible for my drinking. I take the decision to have the first drink

Kevin0147

Sim,At the start of this year, my wife and I had £5600 worth of pay day loans and cheque loans accumalated over two years. We had been paying a staggering £1100 every month for the last 18 months just to revolve these! In May we took out another £500 from a cheque loan shop- out of sheer desperation- not for anything fancy but to try and scrape enough money together to pay these leeches for yet another month. .. and then I found this forum which has been a godsend.We went bankrupt early April before we even paid one penny back to the cheque shop so the £500 bounced. BUT it was the best thing we ever did

Kevin0147

The OR did not frown on us for this- was understanding and I can assure you that will not be accused of fraud ect. Hope this helps

brokepaolo

Kevin0147 wrote: »

Sim,At the start of this year, my wife and I had £5600 worth of pay day loans and cheque loans accumalated over two years. We had been paying a staggering £1100 every month for the last 18 months just to revolve these! In May we took out another £500 from a cheque loan shop- out of sheer desperation- not for anything fancy but to try and scrape enough money together to pay these leeches for yet another month. .. and then I found this forum which has been a godsend.We went bankrupt early April before we even paid one penny back to the cheque shop so the £500 bounced. BUT it was the best thing we ever did

Hi Kevin,

thanks for this post, it's very reassuring. I actually had my other debts under control this time last year, the credit card, the overdraft, the old loan, I was paying them all off month by month(admittedly it was a lot to pay each month but I was managing just about ok) until one Summer evening, after a particularly nasty argument with my girlfriend of the time, a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to go with him to a festival to take my mind off things. I couldn't afford it at the time and was fully overdrawn so I took out a payday loan of £250 which got me to the festival and last me the thre days I was there.

I didn't even enjoy the festival that much, despite the amazing bands, the beautiful setting and the brilliant weather. All I could think of was how would I manage for the following two weeks with no money until payday and I was still upset about the row with my girlfriend.

I got back and took out another payday loan of £200 from another company, bought my girlfriend a £40 necklace as a peace token and I thought that would be that.

but of course it wasn't. by the time payday arrived, I couldn't afford to pay the two loans off without having to borrow back again immediately afterwards, so I rolled them over, then near the end of the month I again found myself short, so took out another payday loan.

this seemed to happen each month, I'd need a new payday loan just to cover the roll-over fees of the existing ones, and so on and so on and so on.

In 6 months time I'd managed to rack up £3000 worth of debt to payday loan companies, it was hideous. The day I decided to take action and begin proceedings for a DMP was horrific. I cancelled my cards, cheques and all direct debits the day before I got paid. the next day when all my roll-overs were meant to leave my account, my phone ran out of battery within 2 hours because of the amount of times it was ringing. I received an email every five minutes, the office receptionist had 15 people call the work number to speak to me, it was hell.

It carried on for about a week until I'd finally sent my letters to all of them stating that I wasn't able to pay them and was taking advice from the CCCS about actions I could take to resolve my debt and my token payment of £1 was all I could offer at the time.

Things quietened down considerably afterwards, I took a deep breath and for a week I lived as though I wasn't in that situation at all, it was amazing, a very emotional time.

I've procrastinated too much though, I need to set the wheels in motion, it seems to me that BR is the only option because the DMP is too stressful as it is now.

It's amazing to think how much damage I did to my life within those 6 months. When I recently met up with my now-ex for a drink, she told me how she could see I was in a better place, my eyes had a sparkle in them and that I looked like the guy she'd first met. I didn't tell her all about my debts, it's not really any business of hers and I doubt she cares anyway, but I admitted to being an utter wreck of a man and apologised for her having to witness it.

Nothing's going to happen between us again, wreck or no wreck, we aren't compatible in the slightest, but it was nice to know that from the outside I look as though I am bettering myself. Now it's about doing it for real.

SimIsOnTheUp

skintscottishgirl wrote: »

Hi Sim

The money thing seems to be getting more complicated than necessary, you have the br option, a dro ( as recommended by CAB?) or a dmp.

Or trying to pay all of your creditors leaving you £27.25 pw to live on?

I would avoid taking anymore money from your girlfriend as it is only going to cause trouble at a later date, which won't help matters.

Personally as per my previous posts i would tell them all to take a hike and go with the cccs (whatever they may recommend to you) and take it from there.

If you are not happy with the relationship dynamic, you need to sort it or end it, life's too short. Any more money loaned to you by your girlfriend will potentially become a stick to beat you with.

And by the way please do not start drinking again, as you can't blooming afford it!!

And it's no solution as you well know

Hope that didn't sound harsh i can only see it as i see it!

Take care and have a good one

SSG

XX

Hiya SSG,

Thanks for talking sense!

I've tried to take a step back this evening.

Am about to nip out for a walk.

'Keep It Simple Stupid' springs to mind

Cheers,

Sim x

Miss_Piggy_2

Evening all!

Hopalong here! A happier hopalong....the hospital took the cast off and put an air-cast on (like a big moon boot!). Looks cack but so much better than having cast and crutches!! AND I CAN DRIVE FROM NEXT WEEK!!! So its back to work with me Monday...only for a few days though as have thu and fri booked off anyway.

Know my first thought?? That I could celebrate with a glass of wine!:eek: What a bizarre reaction considering foot still hurtin a lot and need to get used to this new cast. Guess I'm just odd.

Miss P
xx

SimIsOnTheUp

DEBTMONKEY1A wrote: »

Sim...why pay off something that will be written off in the DRO anyway?? The official receiver will see through the fact that someone has paid it off therefore still giving a possibility that the receiver could see it as preferential treatment....DON'T pay it...honestly! The OR will not revoke your DRO because of the circumstances in which you got the moneyshop loan-as Simon said 'your state of mind could not have been right at the time you took the loan' (depression & anxiety is after all a mental illness)...I'd avoid the stress of falling out with your G/F (like i said go away somewhere for 2 nights or so with her £500!!!!)....& do the DRO asap...so you can get on with your life. Also..I'll say it again (saw it on other thread!!!)...your A&L a/c is TOAST-forget about it & stay booze free!

Thanks DM.

Hope you're having a good evening.

While I can see where you are coming from, I don't entirely agree.

I called the Insolvency Service Helpline, and asked them regarding the above.

They confirmed, that if my Girlfriend pays the Money Shop off herself, then the OR will not class that, as 'preferential treatment of a creditor'.

The DRO would be unaffected by doing this - according to the Insolvency Service.

Re my A&L account, apparently I will be able to keep this, as that account will not be listed on the DRO form - it is not a debt, as it is not overdrawn.

The OR only contacts the creditors, to whom you owe money - ie - those who are listed on the DRO forms.

This is a relief, as I'd really rather try and keep the A&L account.

I really don't like the thought of just 'writing these off' as opposed to paying them back, but I'm just not going to be able to afford to at the moment.

Am going to concentrate on recovering, and staying sober, getting back to my voluntary work, and then slowly easing myself into part time, then full time employment.

I called NPower, to confirm the situation regarding my Electric -

They said, that they would need £75 per month, however Fuel Direct will probably agree to £60 per month (I have to call them tomorrow, to confirm this).

NPower have also asked for a SOA, from me / CAB, confirming that I am seeking their help / showing all the figures.

I am to fax this to them, tomorrow, which will at least give me some room to breathe I hope.

NPower have sent a letter (via a DCA, 'Credit Solutions'), advising that their next step, will be to apply for a 'Warrant of Entry' to either fit a Prepayment Meter / Disconnect my Electric.

Do any of you guys know, what is likely to happen with NPower Electric, once the DRO goes through?

The CAB, said that the debt would be written off after 12 months, with the others.

However, will NPower expect monthly payments in the meantime? I'm hoping not, as I can't afford £60 / 75 a month!

Also, I really don't want a Prepayment meter back in, as nine times out of ten, I can not get access to the meter, due to it being situated in my neighbours entrance hall.

My old Prepay Electric meter, also worked out a lot more expensive.

I just need to start again, and keep on top of my budget this time, and I know I can do this, if I stay sober!

Cheers,

Sim.