+++Come on in, it's Friday 23rd April Daily Chat Happy St George's Day+++

elfen

I wish I could be happy...but how can you when the world is falling apaprt cos you can't keep up, that people resent you cos you can't do things, and all you want to do is hide away.

I have no-one RL really to talk to, I don't want to talk to Pint as he can't cope with it either...I'm just useless

Burlesque_Babe

SuzySu wrote: »

Hi...still on track for my flight to HK tomorrow. Beginning to get a bit excited now (although I think the bubbly is helping that along nicely).

Will be around tomorrow till early afternoon.

so excited for you :T:T:T

scaredy_cat

Elfen, what is normal? Every one is different, you shouldn't compare yourself to others. We are all unique.

scaredy_cat

claire, keep hasseling the builder and the mate... til it gets done!

Burlesque_Babe

Elfen - we're all different, we all have hang ups, we all hate the world at times. We all break habits which we vowed we wouldn't do (again and again!) and we all want to hide away sometimes. It's because we're human and we all feel we are the only ones who feel like that and we must be terrible people who can't cope who aren't worth anything and so aren't worth being around or being friends with.

We all feel these things to differing degrees at some point in our lives and for varying amounts of time. Everything you have said has been felt by all of us at some point (and some of us may be feeling it right now) so you aren't alone.

There's a brilliant thread somewhere to do with whatever you achieve and however small it is in any particular day being 'good enough' and to learn not to beat ourselves up for anything else we felt we should have done for whatever reason. Even if it is something as small as putting the rubbish out or making the bed and you feel that is an achievement then for today, that is 'good enough' and there is always tomorrow to try for something else.

elfen

I binge, I purge. All the time. Every day. I'm not good, I'm a failure. I will always be a failure regardless of what I do. I punish myself as I deserve it, what's inside deserves it, they scream out for it but nothing sates them. I just want to pick up my lappy and heave it into the wall, I want to scream and rant at Pint cos I just don't care about anything or anyone anymore. I want t oself-destruct and I need to, I need that lessening of responsibilities...I need to not have anyone who cares anymore so I can do what I need to.

Burlesque_Babe

elfen wrote: »

I binge, I purge. All the time. Every day. I'm not good, I'm a failure. I will always be a failure regardless of what I do. I punish myself as I deserve it, what's inside deserves it, they scream out for it but nothing sates them. I just want to pick up my lappy and heave it into the wall, I want to scream and rant at Pint cos I just don't care about anything or anyone anymore. I want t oself-destruct and I need to, I need that lessening of responsibilities...I need to not have anyone who cares anymore so I can do what I need to.

again, I think you'll find we have all done all of this.........I binge when I'm alone, I went through a period of feeling an utter failure because of what someone had put me through and I punished myself for a long, long time because I felt so useless and christ did I binge then to try to lessen the pain in my head. I do things because I feel I deserve to be treated this way.....and I expect everyone else has too....you aren't alone in how you are feeling so please don't feel isolated in any way.

Who can you talk to ? Do you see your GP or anyone regularly? Is this how you feel all the time or just every now and again?

elfen

All the time, even when i feel anything else, its there its hidden underneath anything....i can't do anything without them watching me and trying to tell me to do more, to hurt more, to just be rid of it...I dont know what it is but its taking over my life, they are taking over my life, they want it done and i have to do it, just to shut them up, but it's too late, it's not enough anymore

Burlesque_Babe

who are 'they'?

Burlesque_Babe

Elfen - would a trip to the gym help? Are you planning your trip to the zoo tomorrow?