Unequal Split for Kids Inheritance

gingin_2

Hi O.P, I ditto what everyone else says and think that a tactful reason in the will as to why he might be receiving a smaller share might help to avoid any further angst for your youngest.

As an aside and I am sorry Samjockey if it seems I am hijacking your thread but is it common for parents to tell their children what they are going to inherit? My parents have never mentioned it with me, although I know they have a will set up I have no idea what, if anything I will inherit. I don't mean it in a money grabbing sense, I am just interested in other peoples experiences if it is common to discuss these things?

Bossyboots

I spent ages planning my will to ensure that my son's psychotic girlfriend couldn't get her hands on my money. This would have meant my daughter inheriting immediately but my son having his tied up. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. Fortunately he saw the light and she is someone else's problem now. He did laugh though when I told him what I had done.

It might be an idea to leave a letter with the will and to have these both lodged with a solicitor or somewhere else secure, setting out the reasons behind your decision just to have evidence of why you have done it, which can be used if he tried to contest the will. As said though he is only able to do this if he is a dependent unless he can prove you have had pressure put on your by the major beneficiary. Alternatively, make sure a solicitor draws up your will and puts your feelings on file so that this can be produced later on if necessary.

For me, its not a question of saving my money so my children get it later, it is a question of taking care of eventualities.

wigginsmum

My Mum wrote my sister out of her will completely when she married a right git, but wrote her back in when they divorced.

Cazzywazzywoo

I have left my children different amounts in my will.
I have left 2/5 to both my eldest and youngest and 1/5 to my middle child -so it is definitely possible.
My reasoning was because my middle child is severely disabled and will be in residential care as an adult. He will be on benefits and would never be able to spend or appreciate the money (will never get married, have children, have a house etc...)
Whereas my other 2 children will need and appreciate the extra.

Not sure where you stand on them contesting it -but I would have thought that this is the reason you make a will -to make sure the money goes where you want it to go!
Don't feel guilty -there are lots of reasons why you may want to spread it unevenly.
Cazzy

madison's_mum

Leave the 75% to the nice child & spend the rest!!! Lol

comping_cat

I was under the impression, that as long as both children are mentioned in the will, you can share any monies/properties etc in whichever way you wanted. A codicil (i think thats what the 'extra' note on a will is called) explaining why the different split would help your younger child if there was any contestation, but like i said, as long as the other child is left something, he/she wont have much to contest.
My mums partner was advised to leave his daughter (who told him she hated him and refuses to have anything to do with him) a token in his will, to show that she hadnt been forgotten, he could then leave whatever else to whom he wanted!!!!!

annie-c

It's your money, to split as you wish - and I am glad you are not feeling judged by the responses.

Please may I echo what others have said though.... and suggest that you word the will carefully to provide some kind of explanation for the split that will help prevent the possible heartache that might arise if the elder child should contest the will. I am not saying this to judge, but am just acutely conscious of hurt caused in my family amongst my father's relatives when their mother's will was read out and revealed an unequal sharing of the estate. Grievances have continued for years and have affected the next two generations down... I am not suggesting for a minute that your reasons are anyone else's business... but given that wills and death and grief can stir up huge issues in a family, I think it is really important to communicate your last wishes in a way that is firm and clear and leaves no room for doubt... in order to let the grieving process begin and for everyone involved to move on.

Best of luck,

Annie xx

bluep

If all the beneficials of a will agree, it can be changed to redistribute evenly, as far as I can remember, it can also be changed retrospectively to be more tax efficient - a solicitor will be able to answer these questions you have correctly to the T though.

To echo others, it is your money and your choice - how about thinking positively and leaving your eldest more money on the condition that its solely used for proactive counselling in how to be nicer and more loving towards people!!

sarahlouise210

Although your eldest child has been "a vile child" to you ...do your children have a good relationship with each other? If they do then leaving them such a different share in your will could cause friction in their relationship. When you are gone they will be left with each other as family ....would be a shame for this to be tainted because one of your children did not get on with you.

Welshlassie

My grandfather split his will unfairly (in my view)s, my father (grandads son) had an ongoing "disagreement" with him for several years as a result of the relationship with his new wife. When my grandfather finally died, he had given £2k to each of his 2 sons with the another £2k spilt between my fathers daugthers (me and my sister), and the balance to his wife and her son.

This caused some friction at the time, but contesting it was not an financially so it was left to rest.

Its your money do as you wish, but try to leave reasons for your decisions as if can reduce any fricition that may arise as a result.