friends

Treacly

Most people are essentially selfish, imho, and want to be friends with people who make them feel GOOD and HAPPY. As others have said, probably best to focus on getting well first, and happier, and then others will find you a more attractive proposition as a friend. Most of us will put up with our long-standing friends being miserable and needy - just as we expect them to support us through bad times - but we aren't drawn to strike up friendships with people like that in the first place. Well, some people are, but it's not a very healthy basis for true friendship.

Puzzledbubbles

Hey,

Where abouts are you in the country? That might help with some more accurate suggestions of clubs and things.

i guess you do like reading from your user name (which incidentally was what encouraged me to read your post lol)

I had a bad patch with a bad relationship and im ashamed to say i gave up on my friends, if i was so worthless annoying etc then why would they want to speak to me - plus ex h took all of my energy so there was none left for anyone else.

When i snapped out of it i found facebook to be amazing! it put me back in touch with so many of my friends that i hadnt spoken to for years and means that i can keep in touch with them so easily, be careful though, the odd facebook stalker will add you for no reason.

Can i ask how old you are too? I might be able to suggest a good book or two to sink your teeth into

Puzzled x

twilightsaga

hi guys again thanks for all ur replies/suggestions.
right im trying to think what has been questioned/suggested to reply.
ok um right ive had cognitive therapy and have had many years of trying lots of different drugs (legal lol) going to pain management etc and i believe im on the best cocktail i can get of them all right now.
i dont want to do councilling (spelt wrong i think) as i have tried it before and its not done anything. i was seeing a psychologist last year as part of the pain management course so i really am trying these things.
when i do leave the house and maybe see someone i kind of know who stops and talks to me and asks how i am i always say im fine/dont whinge/moan nothing and im always as happy as i can be.
ive got lots of "friends" on fb but no one i really speak to but i will give twitter a go for sure.no one i know is on friends reunited i looked the other month.
i do like to read twilight etc for sure and things like dave gorman also. im in the west midlands and im 35 sorry if ive probably missed lots of things out, you guys have given me a lot of food for thought!!

bertiebots

Please bear with me on this one, because you still don't say what is causing your pain etc (and obviously you want to keep this private) ...so my suggestion is based on the presumption that you are physically capable of getting out and about.
Would it be possible for you to get a dog? Owning a dog is a great ice breaker, from puppy training to owners clubs they are an exellant way for people to meet. Often other dog walkers will stop and chat to each other etc. They are also great companions who will never complain or judge you. Having a pet to care for may give you the incentive to get daily exercise and something to concentrate on other than your illness...I know this may be completely wrong for your situation but as no one else suggested it (but have suggested everything else I could think of) I thaught it was worth a shot!
Take care.

Bananabelly

twilightsaga wrote: »

hi guys again thanks for all ur replies/suggestions.
right im trying to think what has been questioned/suggested to reply.
ok um right ive had cognitive therapy and have had many years of trying lots of different drugs (legal lol) going to pain management etc and i believe im on the best cocktail i can get of them all right now.
i dont want to do councilling (spelt wrong i think) as i have tried it before and its not done anything. i was seeing a psychologist last year as part of the pain management course so i really am trying these things.
when i do leave the house and maybe see someone i kind of know who stops and talks to me and asks how i am i always say im fine/dont whinge/moan nothing and im always as happy as i can be.
ive got lots of "friends" on fb but no one i really speak to but i will give twitter a go for sure.no one i know is on friends reunited i looked the other month.
i do like to read twilight etc for sure and things like dave gorman also. im in the west midlands and im 35 sorry if ive probably missed lots of things out, you guys have given me a lot of food for thought!!

That's great, it sounds like things are managed fairly well for you. I would urge you to reconsider counselling though, you may find a different counsellor makes all the difference. Remember that counselling doesn't 'do' anything to you, but the idea is for you to figure out ways to change your thinking patterns.

It sounds like the issue may be the fact that you just physically don't meet people that you can be friends with. All the suggestions people have made are great, think about things you enjoy and look at Meetup groups, these are often free, or try something new - learn a language or maybe a new skill at an evening class. I would find that stuff better than online, but each to their own! Depending on the limitations you have, there will be a lot of classes you could do. You may also find that it helps your pain management by having things to distract and occupy you more, a win-win situation:)