friends

twilightsaga

hi guys im wondering if u have any suggestions to help me.im a mid 30s female and have not got any friends.... i mean at all. due to illness over the years i seem to have lost them all. ive spent the last 3 weeks indoors(completely) with just one text off a "kind of" friend whos not long had surgery and is recooping at home,but i suppose this has mainly happened in the last 18 months or so.(since my illness got worse)
i dont work due to illness/pain. i am married albeit he works roughly 12 hours a day.
i am depressed and cry lots but i mainly hide this from hubby even tho he knows im "down" as he's had a lot to deal with with me being ill for a long time and i dont want to keep going over things all the time.
im taking st johns wart and have been for roughly 7 weeks,i dont want to really take anti depressants as i have had them once before and it just made me "numb/zombie like".please dont suggest councilling i wont even go there!
i dont know what to do to get any friends due to being in pain etc, ive not even got someone i could call and invite over to catch up,
i cant change my meds to get other ones to control the pain better as i have tried them all and im on the best i can get.
im so lonely i dont know where to start with this...:( i don't need advice with pain/meds i need help with getting new friends any ideas?

AlwaysWorking

Hi, I didn't want to read and run, leaving you feeling like this. I'm rubbish at advice, but does your husband have any friends? Could you meet their wives/gf to see if you can be friends? Perhaps until you are feeling better you could make some virtual friends on here? We're a nice bunch, lol! And you only have to talk to us when you feel like it...no chance of us dropping in unannounced and eating all your cake and drinking all your wine!!

shaven-monkey

Talk to your GP about your pain management.
You prefer to be miserable rather than numb?
Why is that?

twilightsaga

shaven-monkey wrote: »

Talk to your GP about your pain management.
You prefer to be miserable rather than numb?
Why is that?

I've spoke to the doc i've done the pain management course's being on the anti depressants do not stop the pain they just block the emotional feelings i take alot of tablets per day and do not want to add more poison in my system . And it still doesn't resolve the issues of friends. All my hubbys work m8s wives are a lot older work with kids etc i don't know them and he doesn't mix with them out of work

shaven-monkey

If you are able to leave the house then try joining clubs / volunteering or similar to meet new people. Don't expect everyone to become your friend, just take things easy and see how it works out.
What is your objection to counselling?

ailuro2

Join a self help group for other people with your physical illness, and ask what they do to stop themselves getting brought down by the chronic pain.

And send a text to your 'sort of' friend today asking how their recovery is going. It's a two way street remember.;)

mr_and_mrs_ts

all good advice above-
you should sort out you first, sort out your pain , keep going back to docs as that is what they are here for. take whatever help you can counselling and the like if offered as doctors know what's best for each individual. I think once you have done that, you will want to get up in the morning / it will help you to go and get out. otherwise a vicious circle, coz if you are in pain you won't feel like doing anything and so won't be able to get out.

Then, take hubby and you out for a bit together.....
Then once done that start inviting this sort of friend.
Then start joining a group.

All the best anyway and good luck.

Jacobs_Crackers

Hi,
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling like this. Would you be able to do a little college course, or join a hobby group e.g. a craft activity maybe. Places like those are always a good place to make new friends as you have a common interest before you start.
Best wishes,
JC.
x

tattoed_bum

Jacobs_Crackers wrote: »

Hi,
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling like this. Would you be able to do a little college course, or join a hobby group e.g. a craft activity maybe. Places like those are always a good place to make new friends as you have a common interest before you start.
Best wishes,
JC.
x

This is really good advice having been in your situation not that long ago I joined a little craft club making jewellery ,It was hard to do at first meeting new people but my life has changed a great deal ,I am now off anti depressants and have a few friends who meet up once a month for a coffee and a chat . It doesnt seem much but it has been a life saver for me .

How about starting your own little group ,you could meet at a local hall somewhere .
I know it's difficult to do things when your depressed and sore but it just takes that one tiny step and you will feel so much better

shazrobo

not all anti depressants leave you feeling numb, go back to your gp and try another would be my first bit of advice. i'd been on various ones til i found one that suits me. i found that being stuck in the house alone added to my feelings of depression and loneliness, with help i found a couple of craft groups that i now attend every week, and made some lovely friends there. what are your interests and hobbies?, then look around for groups or classes.
also if you have a hobby you enjoy, is there any online groups you can chat to people, i've even met friends this way too
all the best
shaz x

BARGAINHUNTER!

Do you like reading? Maybe have a look to see if there is a book club in your local area (library should be able to help) they are a great way of meeting people! What about an evening class in something that interests you? Cookery, craft, language? Are you able to get out and walk? if so what about a rambling club? Have a look on your local Gumtree and see what is available for you to do, and if you don't see anything you fancy why not post your own ad and see what response you get?