need help with budgeting

eatandspendaholic

Hiya Jasper, I have just come across your thread. If you had a quick read of my thread, you will find that one of my issues IS NOT AT ALL PRETTY and not debt related. (although sort of is). This site is amazing. I came on here, thinking is was not at all the place to be and that I would be told, this is not the place for your kind of problem. But o was i soooooo wrong. I have had fabulous support and private messages too. And quite a few with the same "not pretty" issue as me.

I have a Fab DH this time around (1st one used to beat me) but he leaves all finances to me its hard isn't it. I finally confessed to him and he was Good about it, but didn't do much to help, I'm still doing the finances !!!! but i am now much more open in saying "no" we cant afford it, If you want to take over the finances and find the money for us to do it please be my guest, he never takes me up on this offer.

On the issue, of you other half, threating to beat you, tell him to "fuff off", if he can do better let him try, probably like mine, he wont. I have been in a physically abusive marriage. He may do it a first time, but DON'T ALLOW A SECOND TIME. Sorry if Ive been a bit blunt. But I have found, people being blunt with me, a great tonic. Feel free to PM if you feel you want to say anything private, but I have found, saying it openly on here much more therapeutic.

I will subscribe to your thread and keep in touch.

Thankyou x

jasperconran

hi all, thanks for all your support. I am quite overwhelmed by all the messages and support that I am receiving. It is hard to know whats the best thing to do. My OH has always had some "issues" from his past and even had to see a councillor for 2 years to help him. When I have confronted him about this attitude in the past, his reply is "you know when Im angry I say stupid stuff that I dont mean, you know I am idiot, but you and my daughter, you are my life" yeah right! doesnt seem like it to me!!! Even our 12 year old DD said to me this morning, for godsake mum, just divorce him and get it over and one with! that cant be right, can it?? I am in a difficult situation at the moment, as I am due to start training for a new job shortly, which will give me alot more money coming in and hopefully a better life. The training is all homebased, so I need to be settled. I am so torn at the moment, I just cant handle the constant moaning and putting me down, its the verbal abuse at the moment thats getting to me, especially when its done in front of other people. I dont know, im so torn, confused, hurt and lonely. will try and keep you all posted. thanks again guys xx

LittleMissKitty

It must feel like the hardest thing in the world but after what your daughter said to you I think it's a no brainer. No-one can make the decision for you but from the sounds of it you already know what the best move is. The money and the job are not priorities here. You and your daughter are priorities. I second everyone so far that has said pack your bags and go.

Kitty x

savingwannabe

Hello JC,

The fact that you have written this down is a real sign of strength.

Do you have a friend you can stay with? anyone that can give you some breathing space. Maybe you can use their phone to make phonecalls to the Samaritans etc if it is not safe at home.

Make sure your doctor knows everything. Keep posting for moral support if you need it. I am just a newbie but there are some really clever people on this site who will want to help you.

Good luck pet,

:j