need help with budgeting

littleangels3

Aaah poor u couldnt read and run, first get yourself to your gp and explain how your feeling, it will take a week or two but you will start to feel better,trust me i know, as for oh you cant be made to feel its it your fault its NOT you shouldnt have to feel like your walking on eggshells your in this together, please pm if you want to chat x

katsu

Talk to someone - a womens aid type charity, relate or the samaritans about how to deal with your OH. It is not OK for you to be afraid of your OH and it is never acceptable for someone to hit or physically hurt their partner. No matter what you have actually done, or your OH believes/says you have done, your OH should not hurt you physically or threaten to do so.

Start working out what credit is in your name, what is in his and what is joint.

Ensure the OH gets help for the depression arising from the CFS but remember what I've said above, it is not OK to make you afraid or hurt you, even if your OH is hurting.

Faye449

katsu wrote: »

Talk to someone - a womens aid type charity, relate or the samaritans about how to deal with your OH. It is not OK for you to be afraid of your OH and it is never acceptable for someone to hit or physically hurt their partner. No matter what you have actually done, or your OH believes/says you have done, your OH should not hurt you physically or threaten to do so.

Start working out what credit is in your name, what is in his and what is joint.

Ensure the OH gets help for the depression arising from the CFS but remember what I've said above, it is not OK to make you afraid or hurt you, even if your OH is hurting.

seconded. Get your DD, your dog and get the hell out of there.

Nottoobadyet

Faye449 wrote: »

seconded. Get your DD, your dog and get the hell out of there.

I agree. You are in this mess again, and hes made threats. Be sure you have an escape bag at the ready, and please, PLEASE, be in touch with one of the many great organizations out there that can help you, even if you decide not to leave.

He cant kick you out with nothing, he cant keep your daughter or your pet from you and he cant beat you without breaking the law. You should know it, and he needs to too.

What a horrible situation - chin up, babe, be strong and get your DD into a better environment.

Spirit_2

There is a sticky on the families and relationships board - go and read it - and make plans to get out from where you are.

Keep posting - here or the other board - there will be lots of support for you.

Lexxi

I can't advise on the debt but there are many great people on here that will. I did want to post and mention that the dogs trust offer a foster service for dogs for owners who are trying to get away from a relationship breakdown. One way of keeping a partner is to threaten to hurt the animal and lots of refuges won't take pets but this is a further option to you should you wish to look in to it. I hope you mange to get everything worked out x

ETA http://www.dogstrust.org.uk/az/f/freedomproject/freedompetfosterservices09.aspx
This has some further details

pure_dead_dopey

lift the DD and the dog and get out of there, there is absolutely no good reason for this type of behaviour. I know how difficult this can be but for yourself and your daughter (and even the dog cos they pick up on arguements) get going, the money is not in the least important at the moment, you and your DD are important, just go and walk away.

bargainbetty

If he threatens you again, or blames you, quietly point out to him that he is equally responsible for the debts, and that threatening you with violence is neither appropriate or legal. If he does it again, or worse still , raises his hand to you, call the police and report it as domestic abuse. Be prepared to press charges if you do. Ask the police to make a minimum distance from you part of his bail conditions, or approach socail services for an emergency TRO (temporary restraining order) on the grounds of DV. PM me if you need details - this can be obtained within hours if necessary.

Is the home in your name or his? If it is in your name, there is a bit of me that says you don't need to be the one who goes.

Make sure all his debt is in his name, and hand the paperwork over. Let him deal with his, and make sure that any joint accounts are frozen so he cannot increase the debt, and notify them of exactly how much of the debt is yours. This might not make much difference, but at least they will chase him too.

Good luck x

40somethingmum

OMG Jasper !!

Sending lots & lots of (((Hugs)) your way:A. I had no idea things were so bad for you. I am not sure what to advise at the moment but will give some thought and pop back later.

Please pop in to my diary to let me know how you are .

Love & hugs

40SMXX

moo2moo

Its far easier for a total stranger to say to you take the things that you need to survive and run but its so much harder to actually do it. I've had days where I've thought todays the day but then I wake up in the same bed the following morning. Better the devil you know than the fear of the vast unknown.

Can you take DD and the dog and stay with a friend or a relative for a couple of days to give yourself some thinking space? Its not easy to walk away from anything, its even harder if you don't have the up front deposit for a rental or a clue where you are going to sleep if you do decide to leave.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.