In debt crisis never posted on here before please help...

angelfacecuti75

Hi
I am a young hard working woman with a degree a young child and 50 million things on her plate, but getting into a mess with money really isnt helping things and my mood. Have just started a new job with more money but got made redundant a couple of years ago and the problems started there - debt to make up the gap in the life that made me happ(ier) before. I work full time and am a mum too, so very little time to 'think' about what i am spending. Dont like my job that much, so spend to make myself 'happy' but its just a never ending cycle. I have no money in my bank account right now, just my partners wages, the bills r paid, and food is in the cupboard, i get to work for free as get lifts, make my own lunch and generally survive on my ebay earnings/ amazon.

However, I am really stressed out of living like this (as have done for a long time), am not really in a bad enough position to consider something like bankruptcy - have taken out 2 payday loans in recent months - have millions of debts (about 10), and £150 of bank charges coming out on tues. I havent a clue what to do and feel like its a bit of a mess, and want to be better - no matter what i do its a viscious circle ! Someone help...

DarkConvict

Here is the best place to seek advice on debts, ring atleast 2- off them - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=2077631

For us to offer any guideline here we need numbers on your situation. Here is a sticky explaining about the SOA calcator, post the results up. - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=107280

Good luck.

williamD1964

Welcome angel, best bet is to get your SOA posted here so the experts that know can help you organise and prioritise what needs to be done. You are in the best place here, loads of people who know how to help. Am new here myself but have found the place invaluable. Good luck

lawnordersue

Angel Face

I just want to tell you I understand 'thing therapy' (not happy so I'll buy a new 'thing' and then a few days/weeks later, oh, not happy again, I'll buy a better 'thing' because that wasn't the right version/size/colour). its how I accumulated quite a bit of my debt. I also understand what it feels like to be frazzled and stressed. You're doing well. You're here and looking for answers. I know this is MUCH easier said than done but 'be patient and you WILL get there'. Best wishes Susan

doodledo_2

Hi and welcome to the forum, you have definately come to the right place.

I am also a mum and have a full time job and I know how difficult balancing those things can be.

As someone else has said the best place to start is to post your SOA on here. You need to be a 100% honest though, write everything down what you spend, debts etc.

You will be amazed at the advice that comes your way. My best advice is to keep posting on here as the support is amazing.

Good luck

leedsforever_2

Im also a mum working full time debts etc... Im also a newbie and i think the best step we have taken is talking on here.

Before I started this new job last month, our incomings only just covered our outcomings so debts were not cleared at all, only minimum payments. But it is about being honest and writing everything down

good luck
xxx

foxgloves

When we get into that mindset of needing to buy lots of stuff to make us happy, we can't see that we'll ever, ever be able to change, but we can. I know I've posted this before, but I can tell you that as a 'therapeutic spender' for many years, regardless whether I was spending the bank's money or my own, I now find that there is simply no bag of tat that I could come home with that would make me feel as happy as finally being in control of my money. We can't change overnight, but we can do it. When I started writing down everything I was buying, there wasn't actually that much on the list that really even DID make me happy, sure I boought nice things, but the the happiest times, I found, tended to be very cheap or free.....making a cake to share with my family, spending quality time with partner, a long chat with a friend, going for a walk, working on my garden, watching a good film, spending time with my small nephews, etc. Wish I'd realise this about 2 decades ago, but never mind, better late than never! My best wishes for getting this sorted out. You'll find lots of support on here.

bluebag

Hi Angelface,
You've done really well in admitting that your spending is giving you problems, that was the hardest bit for me.
I found that spending made me happy for a short while, but the problems that spending gave me in the long run were just not worth it.
Going to cash only for a while was the only thing that worked for me, perhaps you could try that for a while or as some on the forum have found a spending diary helps.
Hope you get sorted, it's hard being in a financial mess but oh my! so easy to do.
All the best
bb

angelfacecuti75

Hiya all,
It has taken me about 2 hours to find this thread - i didnt realise u could subsribe to it or search by user to find ur posts! Things have got a bit worse since I last posted, my bank has charged me £150 of charges and a few direct debits have been returned- but had a little bit of time last sun when I could write a letter of complaint to my bank to try and get the charges back - doesnt sound big i know, but sometimes things take time... I have listed a few expensive things on ebay and made a bit of money on amazon....
Where to start next? I have a day off work today (sickness related) as have a cold but managed to drag myself off here, whilst my mum looks after my little boy - and im meant to be at work! I was laying there miserable about everything and thinking if i could use this time to work something out and im so glad i found all u lovely supportive people.

I am sorry its taken so long to post i am going to flipping subscribe to this thread so it dont take 2 hrs to find u next time.

angelfacecuti75

whats an soa sorry? its it the amount u spend?:beer:

doodledo wrote: »

Hi and welcome to the forum, you have definately come to the right place.

I am also a mum and have a full time job and I know how difficult balancing those things can be.

As someone else has said the best place to start is to post your SOA on here. You need to be a 100% honest though, write everything down what you spend, debts etc.

You will be amazed at the advice that comes your way. My best advice is to keep posting on here as the support is amazing.

Good luck

shopaholic2639

Hi, Im not no expert but....
I can completely understand your situation....my ex husband left me in debt, then to make myself feel 'better' about our breakup I spent what I didnt have. It became a way of life & slowly began to wear me down, I couldnt hold a relationship as I felt like I had this big fat curse hanging over me, I was in & out of depression aswell as medical problems. But last summer I met a guy who changed my world, because of him & because I desperately wanted to change I went after help. I started on here for advice from people who were going throught the same, it was invalubale as it firstly made me feel I wasnt alone. Then after discussing things with National Debt Helpline I finally made a step towards sorting this out. I am now on DMP with Payplan, it has taken my sleepless nights away & has stopped most of the harrasement from collection companies etc.
The best thing I found was to be honest with myself, get all the money I owed & to whom together. Get my finances sorted so I knew exactly what money I had coming in & going out. Then take the pludge & make the call, the CCCS are also very good & highly recommended on here. They will not judge you & will give you the right advice for your circumstances.
Believe me when I say that you will feel so much better once you have made the first step. Its never easy but your not alone!!