Maintenance direct?

Loopy_Girl

Mum2four wrote: »

but things come up and sometimes you cant pay.

Do you think his mortgage company or the gas company are agreeable when he phones to say he won't be paying that month as 'things come up'?!! Err no!!!

He's not seeing his contribution as a priority outgoing and he needs to get his mindset changed.

As DUTR says, he will soon get used to it once he has budgeted. YOU have to budget as well and how can you do that if you don't know from one month to the next if he is going to pay his CS?

How many times will you 'let him off' paying before you have to get the CSA involved again - once, twice?

It's totally your choice and of course we don't know the full ins and out of your situation but I personally feel that he is taking advantage of you and you are storing up a whole load of problems in the future

shellsuit

I stopped the claim with the CSA and just telephoned them to cancel it. (Im the parent with care)

My ex was meant to give me £76 a week.

He would have paid the CSA and then the CSA would have paid me.

Didn't see the point in that as it would be easier and quicker if he just paid me direct!

I thought £76 a week was too much, as he would have been left with nothing a week after he had paid his rent and bills, so we came to an agreement of £40 a week.

That is for 2 children by the way.

Mum2four_2

No i meant - sometimes things come up and even though he never has stopped a payment if he needed to at least he would have the choice.

missmontana

Does that mean that sometimes the children won't get fed or clothed?

Mum2four_2

Thats the main reason why this month he has £27 left for shopping, and yes it is quicker too.

shellsuit wrote: »

I stopped the claim with the CSA and just telephoned them to cancel it. (Im the parent with care)

My ex was meant to give me £76 a week.

He would have paid the CSA and then the CSA would have paid me.

Didn't see the point in that as it would be easier and quicker if he just paid me direct!

I thought £76 a week was too much, as he would have been left with nothing a week after he had paid his rent and bills, so we came to an agreement of £40 a week.

That is for 2 children by the way.

missmontana

It doesn't make any difference it being quicker if you get paid on the same date every month...

Mum2four_2

No but having the option to pay less or put the payment back a week or so - its not as if he doesnt pay at all.

missmontana wrote: »

Does that mean that sometimes the children won't get fed or clothed?

Loopy_Girl

Well it's entirely your choice of course.

You can phone up but make sure you get it in WRITING that the case is closed as you don't want arrears to be accuring and for him to get a hefty bill a few years down the line.

I'm just puzzled why this couldn't have been all sorted in the first place since you clearly have it straight in your head? Of course it could be that he thought the CSA would have been cheaper than what you suggested initially and that's came back to bite him on the bum!!!:rotfl:

missmontana

Mum2four wrote: »

No but having the option to pay less or put the payment back a week or so - its not as if he doesnt pay at all.

Not at the moment, but who knows what will happen!

shellsuit

If some of you think that he won't pay the OP, it doesn't really matter, as if she didn't stop the claim with the CSA and he didn't pay them, she wouldn't get any money, through them, from him either!

Yes they can chase him for it, but that would take ages.

If the OP feels she can trust him to pay for his children, and they are both happy with the agreement, that's all that matters.