Feel like I'm trapped - don't know what to do!!

SueC_2

At the end of the day this is your manager's problem, not yours. And to all of those who moan and gripe about management salaries etc etc, this is the type of situation that justifies them. Pretty much overnight she will go from a stable team of four to her on her lonesome. And she will have to 'manage' - as per her job title! She's not likely to enjoy it, she'll probably get stressed, and doubtlessly there will be changes to the way some things are done. But sorting it out and keeping the department functioning is ultimately what she is being paid to do.

That said, looking at it from her viewpoint, it really is a shame you are leaving. Employees with your level of empathy for what management go through, and understanding of the affect their own actions will have on those around them are few and far between.

I'm sure you'll be missed, but as many others have said, you need to do what is right for you.

Good luck!

rcoo80

Thank you all so much for your replies. I thought about telling my manager today bit it all became too difficult when she told me that I would be shortlisting and interviewing for the two current vacant positions in my team so I can ensure that we get people who will fit in with me!!! I didn't know what to say!! She then went onto say that she's glad I'm still here!! She's been stressing all day and there was no good opportunity to tell her I'm leaving so now I've just dug myself a deeper hole!

sandiep

Do you think that if your manager was wanting to move that she would stop and put everything on hold because she felt morally oligated to you?

I am the kind of person that will always try to do the right thing, but no-one is going to give you any medals for sticking at a job you don't like, living in a place that you don't like, for the sake of making your employer/manager's life easier. At the end of the day, no one will thank you for it.

So make your decisions based on what's right for you. And then, if you really feel that your current job is a high consideration on your list, then go and present them with your options. if you are that important, negotiate a better package, if they won't entertain that - then slap yourself on the back for not rearranging your life to fit in with a company that doesn't give you the consideration that you give it.

ceridwen

rcoo80 wrote: »

Thank you all so much for your replies. I thought about telling my manager today bit it all became too difficult when she told me that I would be shortlisting and interviewing for the two current vacant positions in my team so I can ensure that we get people who will fit in with me!!! I didn't know what to say!! She then went onto say that she's glad I'm still here!! She's been stressing all day and there was no good opportunity to tell her I'm leaving so now I've just dug myself a deeper hole!

But then - she could have "picked up the vibes" that you are leaving and have said that specifically to "lay a guilt trip on you". How observant is she?

teabelly

You don't like the, job or flat and are miles away from home. Don't give it a second thought! Your manager will cope. There are plenty of people looking for work so it won't take long to find a replacement.

Don't say a thing until you have to give in your contractual notice. Don't get emotionally blackmailed into staying either. If your manager is desperate for you to stay then say you'll work 3 days a week, double your current salary and the company will have to pay for overnight accommodation and first class travel expenses for a maximum of 6 months while you break the new people in

rcoo80

teabelly wrote: »

If your manager is desperate for you to stay then say you'll work 3 days a week, double your current salary and the company will have to pay for overnight accommodation and first class travel expenses for a maximum of 6 months while you break the new people in

I could always give that a try!!!
I don't think she has picked up any vibes about me wanting to leave. I've just got to think of the best way to break the news to her, probably somehting alone the lines of what heretolearn suggested.

Oldernotwiser

rcoo80 wrote: »

This is why I feel trapped!! I'm stuck in a job I dont want to do, a flat I dont like, 200 miles from my nearest family. If I renew my tenacy here it means I'm tied in for another 12 months, being miserable away from my family. So I'm willing to take the risk and be without a job for a while for the sake of my sanity. My partner has secured a job in the location we're moving to so we willl have some sort of income. I have one interview lined up for that's a positive start. But the problem is I dont know how/when to tell my manager I'm leaving.

200 miles from your family - how old are you?

I really don't think that you should give up your job without another one to go to as you could be sanctioned from receiving JSA for up to 26 weeks if you leave a job voluntarily and you could wreck your whole future career with a period of months or years of unemployment.

Oldernotwiser

teabelly wrote: »

You don't like the, job or flat and are miles away from home.:D

Unless the OP is a teenager (which I very much doubt) "home" is the place that s/he lives, not the place that his/her parents live!

Marsh_Samphire

If your company was going to make you redundant, don't think for a minute they would be going without sleep over it. Doesn't matter how good you are at your job, or how brilliant your manager said you were last week, they'll do what's best for them and you should do what's best for you. If that's handing your notice in and moving then do it. <<-- cynical head on from bitter experience.

rcoo80

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Unless the OP is a teenager (which I very much doubt) "home" is the place that s/he lives, not the place that his/her parents live!

Due to personal reasons that I don't wish to divulge on a public forum, home will always be where my family is no matter what age I am. I moved away to go to uni and get some work experience in a city and now I want to return to where I come from. I appreciate your advice and concern in regards to JSA but due to personal reasons, relocating to be closer to my family is my main priority, along with ensuring I secure a job before I relocate.