From Trash to Cash: the Dribbling never ends

jo70mo

Thats really funny nixi. I would have choked on my brew if I'd been watching that!!
Jo x

nolongerindenial

Firstly, good to see you are OK M&P, I know what you mean about filling your time with things to numb.

jo70mo wrote: »

The other thought I have (and sorry for always rambling on) is that while we keep ourselves busy day in day out we can be ok even if not happy but we kind of numb our feelings so we might not feel desperate but neither are we really being ourselves.
once we realise that, we might feel pain and lost and allsorts of other feelings but at leats they are real and they are the beginning of finding out about ourselves. It can be a scary place but it is a beginning. we are stepping out of our comfort zones and the discomfort is different for everyone but it isn't necessarily wrong/bad for us to have these feelings.
Jo x

I have never agreed with something so wholeheartidly - however there are some things in life that no matter what - you should not let out to anybody but those closest to you, with life forcing you to live a lie to enable you to make a living due to the judgemental society we live in.

At this point sometimes there is only one thing to do - and that is to numb down the feelings you have and simply get on with life.

dillidalli

Morning All,
I hope that you all had a lovely weekend. I feel so bunged up at the moment and it had to be on the first day that I had off on holiday. Boo!
On religion, believe in something but it is my own magical hotch potch of things that work for me: so a lot of meditation, relaxation, Buddhist mindfulness, a bit Taoism, a bit of Christianity. I used to read tarot but I gave that up a few years ago I had a few readings that freaked me out with accuracy. A palmist a few years ago claimed that I was a natural psychic and I could develop it if I wished. Do the I Ching occasionally. 2cats I studied a lot of the religions that you mentioned too.

Elly – giggles love the new story x

Mambury – finally set up the facebook group and updated it. I will send you the link : )

Also if anyone has twitter and facebook, I have discovered the joy of tweetdeck you can update your twitter and facebook groups at the same time. I have 319 facebook fans after the weekend so I will let you know how it goes!

Paulab – so glad that you are feeling happier!

Mabel – well done on the pound! The first of many (of course not too many x) Working on your site today hun x
Joey – glad that weightwatchers is going well.

NLID – well done with the project:T, and no thanks necessary really happy you're happy the only thing is I might render some of those buttons for you again. Some seem to have gone grainy so I will try and sort that ASAP!

Big hugs M&P – time out is always good if it gets you to discover what is going on. And I like you have kept myself busy with things to keep from thinking about other things. My friend once said to me make sure you are being a human being and not a human doing; as sometimes we believe that if we aren’t doing something ‘valuable’ we are failing. I think being a parent and being married / in a relationship requires a lot of sacrifice and compromise. And you are right it is very easy to lose sight of ourselves. One of the things that I did and still do is to do a mini audit these are questions that I ask myself every few months:

What is your favourite colour? What is your favourite food?
What is your most valued possession? What is your greatest strength?
What is your greatest weakness? What is your best skill?
What is your greatest mistake? What is your greatest fear?
What is your greatest accomplishment? What is the one task you are least fond of doing?
If your life ended today, what is the one thing everyone who knows you would say about you?
What would you want them to say? Why wouldn’t or couldn’t they say what you wanted them to say about you?

Some of the questions seemed simplistic first time around but my mother at the age of 60 did it, and it took her three weeks to decide her favourite food I kid you not.

Amber – hugs to you, I am only a PM away. Don’t worry about the challenge for now focus on what you need right here and now. hugs

Munchki – glad that things are getting better. Fingers crossed that the van gets sorted.

Right off to get some blogging and coding done this morning/afternoon!

Hugs to all
x

jo70mo

Love the questions Dilli.

jo70mo

Wow NLID I think I understand what you are saying but a bit difficult because of the necessary lack of specifics. hope life can become more than that though.
Jo x

jo70mo

right off out for a little bit.
Jo x

nolongerindenial

What is your favourite colour? Red
What is your favourite food? Spaghetti Bolognaise
What is your most valued possession? My Saph
What is your greatest strength? My Determination
What is your greatest weakness? My Determination
What is your best skill? My ability to analyse a technical problem into smaller steps
What is your greatest mistake? Wasting money as if it was going out of fashion
What is your greatest fear? Failure
What is your greatest accomplishment? Earning a modest living at being self employed in the first year
What is the one task you are least fond of doing? Paying Tax
If your life ended today, what is the one thing everyone who knows you would say about you? He was a boring !!!!!!! who worked to much
What would you want them to say? He provided a good standard of living for his family
Why wouldn’t or couldn’t they say what you wanted them to say about you? I have yet to achieve my business goals

jo70mo

NLID I also think the time keeping busy and numbing down is not wrong either - we will do that until the time is personally right for us to do something different. Then we may look back on that busy numb time and think it was wrong and wish we had seen that sooner. but actually the time obviuously wasn't right and things had not yet come together/ fallen apart in the way we needed to move on to the next stage. we were still in the busy/numbing phase and it was not wrong because during that time the things we needed to move forward were still coming together.
sometimes we will see glimpses of what could be different but we will close off from them quickly because we are not ready yet.
By the time we are ready then the things we are afraid of revealing either no longer matter so we don't need to reveal them or we don't mind revealing them. also we don't need to reveal eveything to the whole world in order not to live a lie as long as we are not lying to ourselves and maybe our nearest and dearest.
Jo x
Jo x

nolongerindenial

jo70mo wrote: »

Wow NLID I think I understand what you are saying but a bit difficult because of the necessary lack of specifics. hope life can become more than that though.
Jo x

Its Difficult Jo, I cant put specifics however in some circles of life it is completely accepted, however when you are in business, if you show any weakness - especially in the game I am in your competitors will make it so I have no business.

Id love to come out (its not that im gay) from hiding this side of me - however the life i need to live prevents all of this and I am not strong enough a person to handle the sniggering behind my back.

HopeAndDriftWood

I just wanted to check in incase anyone is worrying. I haven't read back, but I hope you guys won't mind.

I'm really, really struggling at the moment. The doctor was lovely, but what he can do is limited. I'm on morphine now, with another appointment with him in a month, and a hospital appointment round then too. Really, what he is trying to say is that all he can do is provide painkillers. He did want to prescribe anti depressants but couldn't find any suitable for my current mix of medication...

I feel like I spend forever just taking tablets and lying down. I can't remember the last time I felt alive, and was actually having fun. I feel sorry for OH, all I do is moan and sleep. And throw up all the time now too, as I get used to the morphine. My stomach lining is coming away too, and he couldn't find out what was wrong with my ear, so I have to live with that pain.

I hope everyone is okay and getting on well with the challenge, if anyone needs me they can PM, but I might be slow in responding as this has taken me nearly an hour to write.

Love you all
x