Advice to help get my dad out of a rut...

meritaten

he may be perfectly happy in his enforced retirement! we dont know any different do we?
I am prematurely retired due to ill health - I am happy enough to tootle about doing a bit of gardening (oh does the HEAVY stuff) reading, surfin tinternet, annoying folks on mse.............and if wanted to volunteer I would - but would be very very peeeed off if one of my kids volunteered me! or even pressured me to. my time is my own thanks - and my kids seem to think that i do nothing all day but wait for them to ask me to babysit. oh and that takes up about 30 to 40 hours a week - I dont have time to work!!!

Chick

Thanks for the thoughts & advice everyone.
The thing is, I know my mum is getting ground down by the situation, she wants him to get back on track & is concerned but anything she says doesn't seem to get taken on board and leads to tension in the house.
She is busy & tired from work and keeping the house going; it sometimes is easier to say nothing and just carry on. She has asked me in the past to talk to him, I haven't really got anywhere it's almost as if he refuses to acknowledge the situation.

yes, it's crossed my mind that he may be showing signs of depression which is a worry, as far as i know he hasn't told his GP he is no longer working (he still pays for regular prescription meds) & i couldn't see him confiding in the doctor.

My mum does try to get him to do activities, he is not v keen- he has never done sports/formal exercise, has no hobbies e.g. golf, bridge and no close friends (of either sex) that I know of. It's worrying that is probably bottling up negative feelings- he is the sort of person that will stew for a few days, then explode, although since not working he has been more calm in general.

Thanks for the suggestions, I'll have a bit of a research and try to see how I get on suggesting some things for him. I'd never get something sorted out without some input from him- I know that it would put him right off before even hearing details about it.
Thanks again everyone.

meritaten

thank you chick for that information - dad may feel he has no chance of getting another job (or he has been applying and been knocked back so many times he has got discouraged).
be careful about suggesting options to him, as i said i am retired now through ill health - but some people still think i should be working and have suggested that i apply to manage charity shops. which makes me furious - If I could do that then I could have carried on in previous job- what makes them think that because its charity shops its doesnt involve work?
I dont know what your dads previous job was - did you say? if you can tell us that then perhaps we could have a clue how to help?