Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

Firewalker

Looking back on the past year we have moved such a long way; and I mean all of us. Last year I was scared, OH was tense and insecure, Little Boy was waiting for something to happen, Young Man could not see a future and Middle Son was at the beginning of a long road. This year I am not afraid, OH is calm and his smile has returned, Little Boy claims that this is his best Christmas ever, Young Man said that by next Autumn he will have a TA job and Middle Son is confident that he will write great prose. And it all feels so right…

What has changed? We have all changed but probably the most profound change has been happening to me. I had to work out loads of fairly basic stuff – and I don’t believe this has been completed. But even more importantly, I had to make a new commitment to my OH and to my family; commitment without expectations and regrets, a whole hearted commitment.

A friend just said ‘We survived Christmas again.’ And I realised that this is one of the things that I left behind during the year – I learned that life is not about surviving but about living it to the full. I refused to survive, I refused to make do, I refused to do things half way.

Here is to living life rather than surviving it.

Firewalker

InaPickle

Firewalker wrote: »

Here is to living life rather than surviving it.

Here, here! :beer:

gilligansyle

FW I love popping on here because its so inspirational and full of things I need to take heed of.

Heres to living life not just getting through it.
:beer:

Firewalker

It is the time of the year when people look back and assess how they have done. Not many remember their resolutions from a year ago – let face it, these are made so that they can broken three weeks later and forgotten six week later. What I did, however, was that I wrote my resolutions down and put them in a draw. Today I opened the draw and there they were, staring at me from a piece of paper three lines. These read: 1) to turn the family finances around this year; 2) to finish an academic book that was started a very long time ago; and 3) to be a better, more considerate friend. Using this as a starting point what can I say?
1) Turning our family finances around. I believe that this was done. This time last year we not only had obscenely large negative wealth (in excess of £95,000) but were still in free fall. During the past year we managed to get our spending under control; pay over £25,000 off, spent close to £13,000 on the house and have £6,000 in different accounts. Even more importantly, I did loads of reading and research about money, managing finance, and making money. I learned many things: some we have implemented and some we are yet to implement. But one important point is that one’s assets, possessions and debts are not what really matters. The true measure of one’s financial position is their net worth – and this year we are worth about £61,000 more than we were worth last year. Not bad on this resolution I would say.
2) No academic book was finished – I really don’t want to do this one. And I have decided that the road to professional success, particularly in academia, is to do what one wishes and let people talk. Instead, this year I had two papers published in top journals, another one submitted to a very top journal (and reviews received), another paper has about three days work on it to be submitted; two high level invited presentations (all expenses paid). Not bad!
3) I don’t know whether I did manage to become a better and more considerate friend: this is for my friends, virtual and otherwise to judge. I can only try...
Much was achieved and many things happened. Not all was good but I made good of it to the best of my abilities.

One thing I am most proud of is that I learned who I am and what I want. What is the one thing you are most proud of?

Firewalker

savingwannabe

You are an incredible friend. I do not know of a single person that is not moved by your diary. I came back to MSE because of you.

What am i proud of? I stood up for something that i believed was the right thing to do. I dont regret it, you can't look the other way can you? The consequences have been very hurtful but i have no regrets. If it were to happen again i would do the same. I am proud of my incredible friends online and real one's. They are wonderful and i must be doing something right if i still have them. I would like to be more assertive next year (i say it every year but i dont want to change the person i am) and continue to enjoy my life more.

Another 365 days to enjoy our lives. We are very lucky.

InaPickle

Well done, FW: you've done very well this year. I didn't know you last year so I can't say whether you are a better and more considerate friend, but I think you are a good one.

What am I most proud of? You know, I can't think of anything at the moment. That's quite sad. I don't know if I just need to think harder, or if it's just that there isn't anything I'm particularly proud of. Normally something would jump out at me.

Congratualtions on your professorship, Professor Firewalker! :T

Firewalker

InaPickle wrote: »

Congratualtions on your professorship, Professor Firewalker! :T

Thanks, Pickle, but not yet - will start looking and applying. Could take a year or two.

FW

adrisco

Best Wishes to you firewalker. Good luck for 2011.

Firewalker

It has been an interesting time. Before the holiday, I said that I will only read, write and run. Today I was thinking that I have done next to now writing, have read some and have run some. But I felt so tired that sleeping, going for walks and spending time with Little Boy watching him play Super Mario is probably not bad for me.

Today has been a day on relatively little activity as well. I have almost finished writing a piece on the business of a friend – and I love doing it. Thinking of ways to make his business work is such fun. Meanwhile, I understand now why it is so important to have an ‘outsider’ view and why the Matrix is so powerful potentially. For me thinking about his business and playing around with different scenarios and numbers is like doing Sudoku. It is a puzzle, a conundrum; for my friend it is his livelihood. This is why I could be bolder, more imaginative and more creative. This is also an opportunity to see whether the ‘ten steps’ I worked out some time ago are of any use, really. Great fun! Probably should apply the same flair to our affairs but then again – it is our livelihood and we need an ‘outsider’.

Little Boy has his friend around for a sleep over and the friend’s little brother was here as well. Made pizza for them – it was lovely. I kept joking about opening pizza restaurant. But thinking about it – it is not such a bad idea. Except that I will probably get bored with cooking very quickly and then the whole enterprise is in trouble. A good business will be to start a pizza/pasta restaurant and a gym with slimming classes next door…And now I am rambling…

I have to read a book called ‘Multiple Income Streams’. Tomorrow, maybe?

And the thought for today is:

“For a greedy man even his tomb is too small.” – Tadjikistani proverb

Firewalker

Firewalker

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and felt the panic rising. It was not easy to discern at first but soon it started taking shape and all the things that I think I should be doing – or even I should have done – started surfacing. Before it had reached proportions that would have made me get out of bed and start doing something I managed to control it. ‘It is not the time’ – I told myself – ‘not the time to worry. Stop this now and go back to sleep.’ Amazingly it did work.

But what I would like to know is why is it happening? What is the thing that makes me my worst enemy? Usually when I figure out that whatever I do I won’t be enough for someone I stay well clear of them. These are not the type of people I associate with, or using different terminology they are ‘toxic’. How about myself? How about this feeling that whatever I do is not enough for me? This one needs attention – can stay clear of myself, or not for long anyway. Will be thinking about this one and about ways to be content without losing my drive.

Otherwise, today we have been having another lazy day. Little Boy’s friend stayed overnight and late morning they were taken for a play and a swim by friend’s parents. I decided that the drive to work all the time should be resisted at all costs – I come from a good Christian Orthodox Background after all and do not have to be tempted to the Protestant side. Hence, have awarded myself a day with Jack Reacher, a good friend of mine and Lee Child’s creation. Reacher fights only to win, he never leaves a fight unfinished, he is a drifter who has no positions or property (but has regular income) and he has a strong feeling of right and wrong. My kind of guy…

One useful thing we did is we finally ordered bathroom cabinets, mirrors and blinds so that ‘operation bathrooms’ will be complete by the end of January. The cabinets are really nice I think (the New Hampshire range of B&Q).

Tonight Little Boy and I will see Narnia with our friends.

Oh, and we don’t have any more debt on credit cards – just made a transfer to zero the last one. It is all one big, fat loan now – but it is going down….

Firewalker