Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

Money_Fritter

Firewalker wrote: »

Did I say that cleaning and de-cluttering is not only an affliction but it is contagious? Did I mention that this is particularly dangerous when combined with the need to clean after building work? If by any chance I did forget to mention this before I am saying it now.

Today was spent on de-cluttering and cleaning Little Boy’s room and a space we have under the stairs Ion the first floor) which is known as ‘the command centre’. This is the place where quite a few computers and servers live. The space has been used through the years as OH’s office (then he took over a room in the house), my study (then I took over a room in the house) and Little Boy’s computer play centre (then he took over the house). Little Boy and I concentrated on his room and wonderful OH on the space under the stairs.

After three bags for the tip and two bags to be given to a charity shop or taken to a car boot (which we have still not done and which I have never done) Little Boy’s room is tidy and clean for the first time in a long while. It is transformed and now I don’t have to close my eyes when going around it. Well done us and well done Little Boy for agreeing to take some stuff out of the room – poor kid likes to keep everything, a bit like his Dad, really.

Sorting out the space under the stairs was considerably more exciting – I immediately said ‘throw away everything’. But since I threw away the receipt for my new car several years back (and OH had to go through a lot of rubbish to find it) he doesn’t listen to or accept my urges to throw stuff away. So OH went patiently through loads of stuff, mostly mine and found some long forgotten treasures – my 60 years old typewriter; a really nice set of Cross pens; another Parker one, pictures, letters from my Mum. But the biggest treasure of all was a note from DS2 when he was about 15. We had this big argument because he was doing too much dope and for the first and last time I gave him a slap – Little Boy was several months old and was sitting in his high chair. The next day I found a box of chocolates and a note in my study – from DS2. Tonight we found the note – it is very poetic, full of feeling and a very loud cry for help.

He is OK now; writing hard, publishing poetry, passing his exams and no dope. He became a wonderful young man. Money Fritter, if you are reading this neither of my grown up sons has a girlfriend – when I read some of your stuff I have the feeling that Young Man has written it. I look at them and think: ‘They are lovely young men, what is wrong with girls today?’

Time to go to bed with a good book.

Firewalker

Thanks FireWalker,

I have subscribed to MemoryMaps thread and blog as well, inspiring. Maybe I should take the plunge and finally write that book I have always wanted to write

Nite nite

Firewalker

Good morning Frit,

about writing a book - yes, you probably should. But before that you should sit down and have a careful think about why don't you? What scares you? Once this is done you can start switching objectives around. If you are afraid it is not going to be very good you can consider changing from 'I'll write a best seller.' to 'I'll have great time writing a book I would love to read.'. Just an idea.

Glad you found you way to Memorygirl's thread and blog - you are the third man, I think (well, second even, since one of them is 'associated').

Firewalker

Marru

ninky wrote: »

a link to a very good film here that gives a wise perspective on the current human obsession with "stuff". it's worth 20 minutes of watching imho.

http://www.blogher.com/its-about-community-interview-annie-leonard

I am somewhere around post 170 but just have to comment on this. I have seen this before quite a while back and only this morning I was thinking about it for some reason, don't know what made me think about it. Anyway I was wondering how I can find it and then just forgot all about it during the busy day so you can imagine how surprised I was when it was right here. So so spooky :eek:

Firewalker

Maru, it is difficult for very rational people to think like that but it might be the Universe. I bet you have had other 'coincidencies' like that. But then when you start experimenting you realise that it is not actually coincidence and that the things you wish for and long for appear. People think that I am joking but I did, as an experiment, ask the Universe to send me a particular bus company bus - and now, whatever happens this company's bus arrives (within couple of minutes of me being at the bus stop).

Try it and experiment - and I do realise that it sounds really mental (but than the first law of the Universe is that it is mentality).

Firewalker

Money_Fritter

Marru wrote: »

I am somewhere around post 170 but just have to comment on this. I have seen this before quite a while back and only this morning I was thinking about it for some reason, don't know what made me think about it. Anyway I was wondering how I can find it and then just forgot all about it during the busy day so you can imagine how surprised I was when it was right here. So so spooky :eek:

That video is awesome and so true, we are lemmings, falling off the cliff

Firewalker

I am feeling so ill that it is hard to believe. All grownups in the house are poorly – only Little Boy is OK and I hope this continues.

Need to go to bed with a Lemsip, nose drops and a book. Problem is I am teaching all day tomorrow and there is no way I can postpone the sessions. Will have to survive.

Can’t write more, I am afraid but found this thought for today. I really like it:

“At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.” - Lao Tzu

Firewalker

Double_Trouble

Sorry you are not well Firewalker sending positive thoughts that you will be feeling better tomorrow and able to survive the day

Hugs

DTxx

Firewalker

I did survive today – still feeling poorly but did manage to teach for four hours and have different conversations in between. Rather tired at the moment – will try to go to bed early today. But I do say this every evening and never manage to do it – manage to fill my time till about 12 and then go to bed, read and get up at 7. No wonder I feel tired all the time. People need rest – especially when it is getting dark and cold outside.

Mr. F (OH) is cooking a very masculine meal – known in our house as ‘black spaghetti’ but actually a variant on spaghetti Bolognese. This is his specialty and some comfort food is not going to hurt anyone, I suppose. Strictly speaking I should not be eating this – have about five more kilograms to lose – but am feeling so rotten that the slim girl coming out will have to wait.

Today, I was talking to the students – in fact they are PhD researchers, about losing one’s certainties. This is what the epistemology class I do with them is about – if one is to start questioning and reflecting on the ways in which we know (or how do we know that we know what we know) one has to lose their certainty that they know. This is particularly important I believe in the social sciences and in this I include economics. While talking about this I looked at one of the students – an economist – and said:

‘An example here is the certainty that governments have to reduce the budget deficit. This is what our government claims and this is how they justify a radical overhaul of the welfare system.’ I was surprised that she agreed with me that the budget deficit and particularly the argued need to reduce it fast is a political construction – there is no pressure to do that and at this level ‘debt’ and ‘deficit’ are political convention anyway.

Why so many people believe this government that this is necessary and within the short time span they have set? Why are we giving them the ammunition to increase poverty, destroy the public services and put the future of the country at stake (by hitting education and culture)?

We have agency – we have control over our destinies. We should use it and use it wisely.

Firewalker

savingwannabe

I just saw the top messages. I hope your cold is better. There are some dreadful lurgies around at the moment.

I Agree. They are Conservatives though that is what they do.:(

Now i feel very guilty. Sorry i was a student in the 1980s!

Firewalker

Several days ago I had an anniversary; some might argue whether it is something one should celebrate or not but I think that it is a good opportunity for reflection. A year ago, I had my crisis when OH told me that we have debt and the numbers kept rising. And because this thread is about learning I would like to think and write about the things I’ve learned and the change this has meant.

1) My family is stronger – after loads of shouting, screaming and outright tantrums I made a firm commitment; I love OH and it was worthwhile rebuilding the trust and togetherness we had. Yes my son, your Daddy is my best friend (although my computer still comes a close second; and the people I met through it).
2) We live a more balanced life – it starts with cooking healthy meals; thinking what we use and what we waste; planning real fun which is had when applying ingenuity and creativity.
3) We are doing OK financially and are much more positive as to what the future holds. In fact, I am convinced that we will be really comfortable in the near future so that all above that can be used to support others – neo-liberal governments can be neutralized only by using neo-liberal action. So if I know that one day I could help single moms get back to work and young people from poor background get education – this is enough to motivate me to amass wealth. And OH is even more determined than me. And the Universe is taking notes.
4) I have become aware of all matters financial without being obsessed – this was my biggest fear at some point. I claim expenses immediately; I follow them promptly; I remind people about this; I notice if there are mistakes made. I know exactly what we spend and what we earn – and the books have been balancing nicely. Am I still generous – yes. Am I stupidly so – no way.
5) I was saying that if we are to get out of trouble I will have to stop being a Smart for Two and become a Ford Focus. I am still a Smart for Two – but what I have come to realize is that this is one of my strengths; my quirkiness and creativity; the strange ways in which I can look at a problem and the imaginative solutions this produces.
6) I have grown up – a year ago I was still a child now I am grownup (well at least some of the time). Do you know what the difference is? Fear. We see childhood as an idyllic period but when we think back we realize that the dominant emotion is fear. Figuring this out has also helped me raise Little Boy differently – he ought to develop respect without fear.

This is for now.

Firewalker