Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

3Dogs

Firewalker

macgirl

3Dogs wrote: »

Firewalker

Wow, couldn't have said it better - hope you are doing something fun

Positive_Attitude

3Dogs wrote: »

Firewalker

Now that's just showing off :rotfl:but I like it :T

PAxx

Firewalker

I can’t believe this! Thank you, my friends, for all the good wishes and for the impressive display of cards and clip art. I feel very moved and emotional. Never, in all these years, have I had a birthday like today. Usually, I get cards and calls from close family and friends. But today, I have had so many messages and good wishes here, on the Memorygirl Matrix, on my FB page, via e-mail, text, people have been phoning and popping around. It warms my heart. Thank you! And of course, before today I have had a poem sent to me only by my middle son – the one who is studying creative writing at the moment.

And I got another great present today – a working shower in the house, no less. Although the bathroom itself has a long way yet to go and the cleaning seems to be an on-going war which I am losing for the time being.

Sometime ago, I was saying that I know very well how it feels to win the battle and lose the war. Today, I know how it feels to have to lose the battle to be able to win the war – so Lausanne marathon will have to be sacrificed just like Moscow was during the Napoleonic wars. But if I do not run Lausanne (or at least not all of it) I will be able to run happily for a long time – with inserts. This is the age group I seem to be moving into – an age when I wear inserts (but still remember them) and change my glasses much more often than my men. Would I be 20 again? No way! Bring it on!

And the thought for today is:

“Look around. And don't get close to people who make you suffer.” – Paolo Coelho

Firewalker

savingwannabe

So good you said it twice. Thank you for being here Firewalker you are such a blessing to all of us. I do hope you continue to have a wonderful day. Happy showering and enjoy the plans for the Marathon. Enjoy the time with your family.

Firewalker

Today has been a productive day – but for some reason it does not make my heart sing. I feel rather tired and don’t seem to have the hunger for life and progress that I had a month or so ago. Not entirely sure what is happening – it might be something as simple as a combination between disrupted home life, being extremely busy at work and the approach of Winter.

I have been thinking long and hard about the most recent of Mr. Big’s challenges. It seems simple enough – identify one thing to stop doing which will make an incredible difference and propel you forward. Like most of his challenges the simplicity is in the task rather than the execution. I have been puzzling over it, turning it this way and that. My first thought was ‘procrastination’ but then I thought that procrastinating is a symptom not a cause. And if something is to make real difference it has to be a cause – eliminating a symptom can only lead to internal conflicts and eventually relapse. After that, I toyed with the idea that I should give up ‘fear’ but in fact I don’t do fear very much or well. Insecurity...getting warmer. Give up chocolate?

What I have come up with today is the following. I want to stop doubting myself – yes, it is true that to a large degree what drives me forward as a researchers is doubt. But this doubt will have to be confined to my object rather than myself. Doubting oneself produces paralyzing fear and stops us trying and developing. This sorted; my next problem is how to make progress towards achieving this clear and measurable.

This is what I think: the degree to which one has stopped doubting oneself is measured by the number of times one leaves their comfort zone. This is a continuous and cumulative process. But probably better illustrate this with an example: I doubt myself as a cyclist. This is based on the belief that I am not good at riding a bike and at navigating the rather heavy city traffic. As behavior this doubt is expressed in me riding on pavements, stopping for cars, getting off the bike to cross roads etc. Interestingly this is also expressed in a rather extreme behavior that can get me hurt: panic when a car drives close, something large overtakes me, or I am followed by a car on a narrow road. How to disperse this doubt? By affirming that I am a competent cyclist and leaving my comfort zone (riding on pavements) without negative consequences. I think this principle should work for anything – doing things outside one’s comfort zone will disperse doubt.

Practical implication: map the main areas in which I doubt myself and come up with a set of actions that will help disperse the doubt.
If this works, giving up ‘self doubt’ is my thing – and I don’t intent to give it up only for Christmas either.

Firewalker

savingwannabe

I shall try. You are so inspiring. I hope birthday went well. love SW.

hypno06

I am sorry to read that your va va voom has temporarily deserted you - I know how you feel.

What I would suggest is that you take yourself back a few months and pick one of those things that suddenly "lifted" your spirits and gave you your energy. Perhaps it was one of the books you were reading, perhaps just one chapter of one of those books. Maybe it was one of the challenges on here, or one of your new "realisations" for the future.

Look at it and think about what it was that lifted you so much, and do it all over again.

xx

se999

Another lacking 'Vroom' at the moment. Not sure why either, other than lots of things are up in the air, and lots of mega highs and lows, but my life's like that normally

Currently it's a case of knuckling down, and getting on with things even if it's more effort to do them, hopefully it will get better soon. Admittedly I'm one of those people who would prefer to hibernate through the winter, so maybe it's just the effect of a not very brilliant summer and winter coming. Admittedly still finishing a 14 day course of max strength antibiotics might not be helping.

Maybe when your building work is done and the house is straight again you'll get a bit more oomph back

Anyway the bad news is we're moving hotel, so it's packing and reorg day today ready for moving Sunday, the good news is it's a different on to the one originally planned, and it's got a fitness room and it's next to a park, so hopefully my first chance to do some outside running

Also there's a bowling alley next door, so going to go bowling next week hopefully - I'm totally useless at it, but it gives everyone someone to laugh at, I'm really that bad. Not done it for years though, but at least I can't get worse

Firewalker

Se, being able to exercise again is good news; moving is a bit pants but...You actually reminded me that not being able to run at the moment and having to sacrifice my next marathon (for which I have been training) is getting me down as well - can be compensated with circuits though.

Hypno, I'll try what you suggested - also having had several difficult conversations this morning and getting what I wanted is already making me feel calmer and looking to the future with excitement rather than apprehension.

Savingwannabe, thanks and look after yourself.

Firewalker