Where would i stand?

dopester

louisebt wrote: »

I didnt say i've paid nothing, i pay towards some bills, water, gas, electric, i paid to decorate the house, and i decorated it, mostly alone... i paid to have the garden done, i paid for the blinds, curtains, soft furnishings...

I cant work as i'm disabled, i'm certainly not a sponger.... i dont pay towards the mortgage but I certainly dont want 'to live rent free' and i certainly dont live here for 'free' ....... what i would like is some of what i've put into this place back.... i lost both my grand mothers last year, they left me some cash which was ALL spent on the house, approx 7k in all, so i'd think i'm entitled to some back dont you?????

A good female friend of mine is in a similar position to what you have been in with your boyfriend - paying about £400 per month into the household account + similar purchases as you have made.

Now I like the guy, think he can be trusted, he's smart, her age, nice house and a big earner... but I don't expect she'll be "entitled to some back" if there was a breakdown in the relationship and she had to leave. She could also be living almost for free back with her mother, very nearby. Do you think you're also entitled to the time you've spent with the guy in the relationship?

In my opinion if a case like this, with no formal agreements made to the contrary, what was willingly spent in the happy days is spent and doesn't come back if things change.

dopester

If you can prove you've contributed significantly to the extent of having some claim to make on money/property with the separation, it is possible you could be entitled to something. It is not straightforward though.

As someone else has posted though - if the house is now in negative equity, would you also want to be entitled to some of that debt to carry around with you?

If the property is in the sole name of one party then basically it remains that person's property on separation, unless the other party can establish that there was a common intention that they would be entitled to a share in the property. How do they do this? Here are a few examples

* It may have been agreed in a simple conversation (proving it tends to be the problem!), or in writing between the parties at some time
* If the other party has directly contributed to the purchase price the courts are likely to accept that at least part of the property should have been in their name
* If there has been an "understanding" between the parties and the non-owner has acted to their detriment as a result (eg contributed to mortgage repayments, paid household bills, or, perhaps, sold their own property) then the courts may agree they should share in the property.

The parties can, of course, come to an agreed settlement, but if not, such disputes can become messy and expensive.

http://www.lawontheweb.co.uk/basics/cohabit.htm

Happy_Girl_2

OP - I would say your best best is to sit and have a talk with your OH, as I'm guessing that what you are after is some of your inheritance back to provide a deposit/first month's rent for you to rent a new property?

As he is the one who has caused the breakdown of the relationship, you may be able to appeal to his better nature and ask for £2k or so in order for you to move out?

A lesson for the future perhaps, is not to use inheritance money to update a property in which you have no legal claim. the money would have been better placed in a savings account or used to treat yourself to a dream holiday. I realise hindsight is a fantastic thing though!

louisebt

Thank you to those who have seen the reason I made this post, things have been discussed today and for now i am going to stay and see if things can be sorted.... but if not i'll be getting back the money i've put in (apparently) i.e the money for the garden and that king of thing... i've paid some of the bills, food etc and other bits since moving in, our garden was only done as we discovered a massive problem just after moving in which needed sorting as it was otherwise going to 'infect' the whole downstairs of the house, thats why i put the money up to do it... so in theory its saved him thousands in that respect and the house now has a fab garden

nomnomnom

Glad you have discussed things and come to an agreement with your OH. I lived with someone for years who didn't want us to buy or rent somewhere as equals, so I lived in the house he owned and refused to let me contribute to (in case I took half like his previous girlfriend who he'd dumped). Instead, I paid all of the food bills, which averaged at about £120 a week 8-10 years ago. I was only taking home about £200 a week at the time and when I sat down and discussed money with a close friend of mine who'd bought her own house, she made me realise that I was being a fool, spending the majority of my wage on his expensive food/drink habits (he loved to go to posh restaurants once a month at my expensive!)

In the end you put it behind you and don't let yourself be taken for a fool again, but it doesn't change the fact that you have nothing to show for all the money spent; you just leave behind the bloke with his own home looking for the next woman he can use.

Your post and the replies you got intrigued me Louise, because people automatically assume you were living off someone elses generosity, when food bills and "other bits" when living together can add up to an awful lot.