Preventing worsening debt

Careful_girl

OK DFW advisors this is a prevention situation. I am very worried about getting into problems.
My OH was made redundant in Sept. He has used up his pension and his redundancy pay (no I have not been happy about him using the pension) to pay his part of the joint account. He has now run out of money. I have sold the house and we move into the cheaper one in 2 weeks. I need £200 extra per month to cover the costs. He is continuously applying and being turned down for jobs in his career. He has looked at setting up a business but not only do we have no money to do this but also he doesn't have the confidence to do so. At this point I must assure you that i have been very encouraging and supportive. I have asuggested many things including trying to get him support with depression as I imagine he is depressed.
All I want is that he gets or at least tries to get a temporary job. He has many interests and many skills. I have never suggested what he should get just that he should choose something which appeals most. It is almost a year now. I can understand that he has pride (he is a top manager and is doing an MBA) and that he wanted to focus on applying for the next job in his career. He has 2 in the pipeline.
However I am so scared because this morning I asked how did i pay the surveyors. I will pay. He reached for a credit card cheque. I explained that that was a very expensive way to pay and I don't think he has the agreed limit available anyway. He has continued spending and is "panicing" about money. Not enough to do a temporary job.
I am linked to him on the mortgage, a loan and 2 joint accounts. If he continues to spend and get into serious debt I will be linked to him. We may split up anyway. If I do go then I want my credit rating to be OK. I have a good job and am very careful with money.The question is not do i leave him but how best to manage the finances.
The outgoings are stripped bare. I can sell a few things and get rid of the loan.
I hope this does not sound too callous.
I await your advice!!!
Thanks in advance.
CG.:o

Bestthingsinlifearefree

If he got made redundant last september and has still has not found a role in his field it means either his sector of industry is in decline (e.g no jobs in his area) or he is over or under qualified for the roles he is going for. Or the competition is to intense.

Either way he needs to look at alternatives.

I believe all work is good work (aslong as it is legal).

A days hard graft sweeping the streets is just as valid as a days hard work running a multinational.

After a year searching for his "ideal" job he now needs to put bread on the table and take anything he can get and build from there.

Forget the MBA top manager stuff, if there is a job going at Tesco's check out take it and get the cash coming in AND continue to search for the ideal job.

Good Luck.

Bestthingsinlifearefree

Just reread your post carefulgirl and there seems to be a relationship issue to.

You say "we may split up anyway".

Is it a not very committed BF / GF relationship (i.e not that serious / long term) or are you married / long term partners ?

Is him not working the reason why you may split up or is it case that even if he had his old job you might still split up ?

Sorry to be nosey but just trying to separate the financial and emotional issue.

Careful_girl

He has applied all over the country. He will work and live away for the week. You try telling him about changing his search. The agencies are happy to put him forward.
The realionship issue is related in a way. He doesn't take any responsibility for the situation. He doesn't seem to care about me at all. The world is against him. We are married. This is not really the point. The very logical person in me needs to ensure that she is doing all she can to support herself whether we stay together or not. I am the only one who can make that decision.
What can I do to protect my credit score?
CG.

Bestthingsinlifearefree

Careful_girl wrote:

He has applied all over the country. He will work and live away for the week. You try telling him about changing his search. The agencies are happy to put him forward.
The realionship issue is related in a way. He doesn't take any responsibility for the situation. He doesn't seem to care about me at all. The world is against him. We are married. This is not really the point. The very logical person in me needs to ensure that she is doing all she can to support herself whether we stay together or not. I am the only one who can make that decision.
What can I do to protect my credit score?
CG.

Some big issues there.

If you are looking to get divorced you need one strategy / set of advice to protect your position.

If you are looking to stay together you need a different strategy to protect you and your husbands finances.

Though I can see your husbands unemployment is probably putting pressure on the marriage. It seems that the overall state of the marriage is the key issue.

Put it this way if my wife lost her job or I lost my job we would not be thinking about divorcing each other in a million years UNLESS there were other major issues.

There seems 2 issues here your husband getting a job and your marriage.

Hope that makes some sence and I wish you well.

Careful_girl

Look, I am not really on here to discuss my marriage. This is not the question with all due respect. I am concerned about his debt. I cannot force him to get a job. If it was the other way round I would be taking any work. For some reason he won't. I am trying to protect my finances. trying to protect myself from being linked to his debts.
CG.

Careful_girl

And if I leave him the last time I want to leave him is when he has nothing. I love the guy. I am not that callous or that harsh.
CG.

rchddap1

I can echo the previous sentiments. But you've asked them not to be discussed. So here are my thoughts

No you can't force him to work....but really he should be getting any job. Sitting around won't help his future prospects. Employers will ask why he hasnt been working for a year....and start to think that maybe he isn't good enough. Better to fill the time by doing something as a 'gap filler'.

Suspect that he may have got to the stage where he may believe that he himself is useless because he can't get the same job or better that he had before. So instead he lives in his 'dream world'. He carries on as before pretending that everything is perfectly normal. You need to wake him up from this....because eventually his world will come crashing down around his ears (ie, bye bye house, hello debt collectors)

Not sure if you can protect your credit score as you are already financially linked to him. There is a record of joint financial products. Even if you seperate those out into single names (eg, joint bank accounts, mortgage etc...) ....the history is still there, and would still bring up his results when someone searched for yours.

That is your problem in a nutshell...you are already financially linked, so don't know if its even possible to un-link your two credit files.

On another note...even if my OH had nothing at all I wouldn't leave him. Its not something I could do. In fact when I met him he had nothing. He was living at his mums and had very little apart from a stereo, a car fit for the scrap heap, an ex wife and 2 daughters.

Just something to think about.

Prudent

If you are married the debts will not be your responsibilty now or in the future if they are in his name. However (and I do appreciate you do not want your relationship discussed) if you do split the debts may be subtracted from any joint money at a 50/50 split. Assests are usually added up, then debts subtracted and remainder split 50/50. This is a very broad generalisation, but take care.

Careful_girl

The accounts are fine so far that my name is on. I run the finances. Do you think I should stop his access to the joint account and the loan. The mortgage will still be joint but again I can make sure that is paid. Then that will be the only link.
What do you think.
Thanks for seeing beyond the marriage.
CG.

ZTD

Careful_girl wrote:

Look, I am not really on here to discuss my marriage. This is not the question with all due respect. I am concerned about his debt. I cannot force him to get a job. If it was the other way round I would be taking any work. For some reason he won't. I am trying to protect my finances. trying to protect myself from being linked to his debts.
CG.

While you are with him, and you have joint financial affairs, then you will be linked to his debts. Can I take it the newer cheaper house is mortgaged? If you don't want to be linked to his debts, then you will have to either:

• leave him and sell this new house too.
• Have the house signed over to you and have a mortgage solely in your name - he can give you rent in a tenant-landlady kind of relationship.

In either case you will have to close the joint accounts and tell the credit reference agencies that your financial affairs are no longer linked. On the assumption you have no joint debts of course.

This is the answer to the question you have asked. If you want a better solution - then ask a more general question.