Calling any divorced dads out there....

Bossyboots

Pam17 wrote:

That plus the fact that the law favours mothers makes it nigh on impossible for him to file for custody.

Sorry, but this is not true. The law favours the parent with custody. As this is usually the mother it is difficult for dads to gain custody so it looks as though the system is biased towards the mother. However, the rule of thumb used is that the status quo should not be changed without good reason. Therefore, if the parent seeking custody cannot produce evidence showing that there is an overwhelming reason why the child/ren should be uprooted, a change will rarely be ordered.

If your brother took redunancy he would be home to care for the children and it would be up to his wife to apply to the court to change that set up.

System

Yes but Bossyboots at the moment they both have custody. The difference between the 2 of them is that she works 3 full days per week and he works 5. I suppose if she had to go back full time after the split then he might have a better chance of custody. However I don't see that happening in the near future.

Her oh so generous offer to him regarding access is that he can have them every other weekend. This is so insulting given that my brother is the parent who reads to them every night and puts them to bed. He also takes them cycling, fishing, walking and on visits to the cinema and local parks usually unaccompanied by his wife.

The status quo is going to change when the house is sold and my SIL introduces the kids to her "new friend". The kids will be uprooted from the family home away from their father and friends to a new home with my SIL and her boyfriend. As it is it will look to the kids that my brother is abandoning them when that couldn't be further from the truth.

If you or anyone else, especially other fathers, have any tips that he could use in an effort to get custody I and he would be very grateful. Taking redundancy would have to be a last resort as living off the state is not something my brother would be keen on. He has worked since he left school and is proud and thankful that he has been so lucky to have had continuous employment for 24 years.

Do you think he would have a chance if he had before and after school child care arranged or would the court still award custody to my SIL because she works less days per week?


It's very difficult not to get so emotionally involved in this and I am trying very hard to be strong for my brother without allowing my opinions to exacerbate or inflame an already volatile situation. One reason I came to this site and indeed advised him to see a solicitor is because I don't have answers and don't know the law and no matter what I think is fair or unfair only those who have been through it or who work in the system can give us an insight into what might happen next.

I'm very grateful for all the replies so far - thanks