Help! I need to look more feminine

missmontana

I have a couple of suggestions... have your eyelashes permed, opens up your eyes, get your eyebrows shaped, then tinted along with your eyelashes, gives your face a bit more definition without having to mess around with curlers, mascara etc!
If you're worried about cost, see if there is a local college that trains up beauty therapists, you can get all treatments at a fraction of the price! Or even mobile beauticians can be cheaper than gong into a salon.

And always have a squirt before you leave the house, if you smell good, you feel good x

charlies-aunt

Hmmm.... the exercise dvd (Ministry of Sound) wasn't as easy as I'd hoped it would be... in addition to being weak and wibbly, I'm now totally unco-ordinated too. Trying to follow the routine was so difficult but I managed half an hour and did feel a lot looser afterwards so I'll try and stick with it until i can borrow a more gentle one from the library

Trying sort my wardrobe - everytime anything loose and badly fitting is ready for wash, I am going to chuck in the kitchen bin rather than the laundry basket. Its laziness on my part, its sooo much easier to keep wearing the same old pieces week in week out than seek out some thing nicer - this way, I'll have to shop for something new.

belfastgirl23

charlies-aunt wrote: »

Hmmm.... the exercise dvd (Ministry of Sound) wasn't as easy as I'd hoped it would be... in addition to being weak and wibbly, I'm now totally unco-ordinated too. Trying to follow the routine was so difficult but I managed half an hour and did feel a lot looser afterwards so I'll try and stick with it until i can borrow a more gentle one from the library

The first time doing any routine is tough, and you're never co-ordinated the first few goes (in fact takes me weeks) so don't be hard on yourself, actually DOING it is the hard bit and you've done that. Good for you!

londoner1998

charlies-aunt wrote: »

Thank you everyone all over again, I'm overwhelmed with all your help - I do feel a lot more positive and that I'm on my way slowly to a new 'me'...although when I got up at 5.30 for my bike ride, I realised that the clocks went forward at the weekend and it was still quite dark. Not to be beaten, I rode on the path (we live out in the country so I wasn't in any danger of upsetting any pedestrians) and did two miles....I hadn't realised how weak and unfit I have become as I was wobbling all over - also definately need to buy a good sports bra for this kind of lark!. DD2 has lent me her exercise dvd so I'm giving that a go instead in the morning until it gets a bit lighter at that time.

Did the whole shower cream, body butter, hand cream and face cream thing in the bathroom too...my skin has felt really nice all day and even managed a bit of tinted moisturiser and a slick of lippy before heading out of the door to work, although it had disappeared off my face by trhe time I got to work!

Hmmm...the clothes were a bit more problematical....black, saggy and baggy area a recurrent theme - definately room for improvement on that front....but the new bras are priority item number one and number two will be replacing my big, white cotton granny knicks with something a bit more ladylike.

Thanks again everyone

.

Hey, you are doing fantastically! I am only 35 but I can see how one can let herself go... bereavement, fatigue and way too much work got in the way for me and it took two years to get to the point when I take care of myself like I did before...

RE: feeling unfit- you are not the only one! When I neglect my routine, I can feel it with a vengeance, some times more than others (depending on the time of the month I am , if you know what I mean, my energy levels change a lot).
Exercise is really a key thing here- can I suggest you explore yoga? I have a coupe of teachers, one close to her 60th and another one 77... the first one doesn't look a day older that 45, seriously and there is a softness to her skin and her general look that is amazing. The other one has a remarkable strength for the age and her wits are razor-sharp. f you find a good class, you will find that it really helps to lift your mood, help you through tricky times and generally improve your general well-being and keep flexible of body as well as of mind...
If you want info, PM me. Now, you have inspired me to get up early and do my practice...:T

flippin36

A few tips from me for what its worth.

Keep your eyes peeled for women around you who you think are dressed stylishly. Watch how other women put things together, try and copy one thing, adjusting it to your prefered colours/lengths/shapes etc.

Getting back into skirts after the frumpy years for me was the best thing I ever did. I LOVE my skirts and I LOVE wearing them with boots all year round. Makes me feel very feminine.

Be careful of the hair cut. So many women hit a certain age and decide they are too old for long hair, have it cut really short and sometimes it ages them and makes them look a little masculine. I personally think shoulder length hair, that is well looked after and regularly styled by a great hairdresser, looks good on any woman of any age.

Also, although I don't recommend catalogue or internet shopping for clothes it may be a great idea to visit a few sites like Debehams, Next, Dorothy Perkins and M&S, for example, will give you an idea of how the stylists have put clothes together and you can go to the shops and recreate the look yourself (but perhaps tweaking it to give you a bit of individuality). Once you have found a winning formula you will be away and will know just what will make you look great at a glance.


Good luck.

Ruthie5

Hi Charlie's aunt - good luck with everything! I would second the Trinny and Susannah book, and the skirts and boots recommendation. I never used to wear skirts until I discovered boots. A nice, lowish pair of smart boots in brown or black can be worn with Jeans and also knee length skirts.

I would also second the bra plan. Best to go to a good bra store where they will measure you and suggest good bra types for you.

I would try a invest in a few good basics that fit well for your wardrobe. A nice pair of jeans, maybe some ballerina pumps (I wear that combo a lot), a sweater or cardi in a bright colour that suits you, some boots, a well-fitting skirt...knee length cord or denim for casual? These kinds of items are really hard-working I think.

Another good plan is to go for a bit of colour next to your face. You can wear all black, but if you lift it with a bright scarf or necklace in a colour that suits you, it can make all the difference. Per Una always have lovely things. Remember that warmer coloured hair and skin normally suit warmer colours and cooler tones - brown hair and pale skin, normally suit cooler, brighter colours.

I'm sure a flattering haircut will help. If you go to a hairdresser with an open mind, and perhaps ask for suggestions of what would suit you? With Make-up, maybe you could look at a simple routine that takes less than five minutes...some tinted moisturiser and concealer, a little blusher, mascara and tinted lip balm. If you look on You tube for five minute make up ideas, there's lots on there.

With diet and exercise, I think it is just good to make a lifestyle change, rather than being on a diet..I'm an exercise phobe, but I'm finding dvds good at the moment. I particularly like 15 minute workouts for dummies. I find that I can always manage to do 15 minutes!

All of this sounds a lot, but maybe you could just keep eating well and increasing your activity levels and introduce something new each week, then the changes would start to build up.

The you can just really enjoy receiving the compliments, and rediscovering the lovely, womanly you! Best of luck!xx

Sazbo

What a wonderful thread. To me this is MSE at its absolute best. Posters giving freely of their collective wisdom and experience. Inspiring and encouraging - rather than the playground bickering and squabbling that characterises some threads. I'm always learning something, it's so humbling - and you're all brilliant :T
Sazzy xxx

charlies-aunt

Sazbo wrote: »

What a wonderful thread. To me this is MSE at its absolute best. Posters giving freely of their collective wisdom and experience. Inspiring and encouraging - rather than the playground bickering and squabbling that characterises some threads. I'm always learning something, it's so humbling - and you're all brilliant :T
Sazzy xxx

I'll warmly second that Sazbo - its like having a lovely sister - everyone has been so positive and sharing - its given me hope that I can turn myself around. I find the skincare, grooming and exercise are particularly good for helping me stick to my diet as I use any spare time as me time rather than snacking time.

Thank you Ruthie5 for your suggestions - i think initially that accessories are the best idea for the next few weeks so I can feminise the clothes that I have until I can think about what would be a good basic working wardrobe and lose a few pounds.

Be careful of the hair cut. So many women hit a certain age and decide they are too old for long hair, have it cut really short and sometimes it ages them and makes them look a little masculine. I personally think shoulder length hair, that is well looked after and regularly styled by a great hairdresser, looks good on any woman of any age.

Flippin36 - fingers crossed, I am hoping to have a restyle on Friday with a stylist in town but I recently had the 'haircut from hell' inflicted on me when my regular hairdresser decided to layer my shoulder length hair. its still quite long at the back but the sides are earlobe length and the front has been cut to 2ins...I just can't work what to do with it. I'm hoping a restyle but to try and keep the length - as its poker straight, I really would like a demiwave to soften and feminise the style. A short crop is out of the question as that style suits elfin faces...and mine is more goblin than elfin! :rotfl:

se999

How did the hair restyle go?

Hope you've had a good easter.

roshydoshy

just a quick suggestion, maybe ask your children for advice - even if they are boys they will know what will and what wont suit you, and may end up giving some advice that will be so good it will shock!
Also, as mentioned by others - if you have a higher education college nearby, see if they have a beauty/hair dressing college. This is where cheap hair cuts, colouring and beauty treatments come in - you can experiment for a fraction of the cost of a normal salon and sometimes they may even do free if you volunteer to be a model for an assignment?
I know our local one also has a fashion department, and I have known people to go along for an evening to see the adult evening class and ask for ideas on wardrobe upheavels! hth good luck with this, sounds like your in for some fun messing around!