Help! I need to look more feminine

Bronnie

charlies-aunt wrote: »

Thank you everyone - I'm very touched to get so many positive replies.

I hold my hand up as very guilty of wearing bad bras - I have been making myself wait for some decent ones until I can get some weight off but I am going to get some well fitting ones to wear now.A quick hoisting up of my saggy bra straps was enough to see that my boobs would look a helluva lot better with a better bra.

I have also dug out from the cupboard the small stock toiletries and perfumes given to me over the past few years - was keeping them until the day I 'deserved' to use them -- decided today was that day.

Planning a trip to Mataln to treat myself to a few scarves and new handbag...but the priority is to ring a salon tomorrow to book a hair appointment.

I've even got the bike out of the shed, tyres pumped up and alarm clock set half an hour early so I can have a half hour bike ride before breakfast....and I 've been very good on my diet today!

Thank you again everyone - I feel much more positive now and determined to 're-invent' myself at 52.

There are lots of tips and friendly advice here. I love this board, (working with all men as I do ), it's my "girlie chat" time.

I think it's good to make small steps, then endeavour to maintain them on a regular basis, building time into your daily routine for them. Lots of these things only take a few minutes.

Use birthdays pressie time etc to get a pretty-coloured fleecy dressing gown and slippers to snuggle in for a pamper after your bath. Sensible and practical things can also be pretty and feminine.

Good luck and I hope you keep reading and posting on your "journey"!!

Savvy_Sue

You could book a session with a personal shopper at somewhere like Debenhams to update your style.

Or you could spend some time trawling the charity shops, trying on a range of different styles and colours, perhaps some you wouldn't normally consider. (It either convinces you that you were right about anything that frills at posterior level, or widens your style range!)

Floaty silk scarves and chunky beads can be picked up quite cheaply in charity shops, sometimes, and they definitely feminise anything!

lostinrates

charlies-aunt wrote: »

Thank you everyone - I'm very touched to get so many positive replies.

I hold my hand up as very guilty of wearing bad bras - I have been making myself wait for some decent ones until I can get some weight off but I am going to get some well fitting ones to wear now.A quick hoisting up of my saggy bra straps was enough to see that my boobs would look a helluva lot better with a better bra.

re bras, I'm dieting too I have two that fit at any time, not more ATM. I handwash them n the evening and usually its ready to wear again next morning but a second is valuable anyway. he hope is n next purchase its a size smaller...:o

shepherdgirl

Great thread - Life does get in the way of things doesn't it.

I've been dieting and need to start again with the clothes, but have money issues as everyone else and this limits things. However this thread has encouraged me to revisit a long forgotten wardrobe LOL.

Giving my age away but some tops and suit jackets that fit again after many years, have shoulder pads !!!!!!!! Some could be clipped out, but others are buried in the fabric and not accessible. The clothes are much better quality than I could afford at the moment as bought in a previous life and cost a bomb. Would like to utilse them if poss, and had forgotten how "different" getting dressed felt IYKWIM

Are shoulder pads in or out these days ?

xxvickixx

In! Lucky you,what great timing.

foreign_correspondent

I am in my thirties, but tend to look quite cubic (broad shoulders and big bosooms!) and I have short hair - so I do worry sometimes I might look a bit 'blokey'.. but short hair suits my face (and my hair) best.. so I try to make sure I always wear some nice earrings, a bit of makeup, tend to have a bit of product in my hair (and its coloured, mainly to disguise the grey!!) which all helps - and I love colourful scarves and always wear perfume (even when wearing jeans and a hoody or slobbing around at home) - I find that even a comfy outfit of jeans and a t shirt with flat shoes can look nice if the colours are good, and a few accessories help. I have found some nice, cheap necklaces in the sale at Asda recently, which help to dress up a top, and they are cheap enough to be able to buy a few to go with different colour themes... charity shops can also be great places to pick up nice little accessories, and our local market often has some nice bits and bobs (much of which, I suspect, is end of line from big stores)

Also, gotta agree that a decent bra that hoikes your chest up and keeps it there really helps!!

It sounds like you are making a great start, what is on the outside really does not matter, and you sound like a lovely lady, and I am sure that shines through, but you deserve to feel confident in how you look, so do treat yourself a little - you have earnt it - and get those nice smellies used up - people have chosen them as gifts for you prescisely bacause they know you do deserve them, and want you to enjoy them!

BitterAndTwisted

Making the transition from girly-feminine in your 20s and 30s to womanly-feminine in your 40s and 50s is a challenge for any woman who's not a fashion expert. Understated elegance is what we should be aiming for in my opinion rather than a sexy look. You don't have to be wearing a skirt and heels to look elegant, it can be done wearing casual trousers and loafers. I think keeping the number of colours to the bare minimum which also really suit you is key, plus a selection of decent accessories. Cheap, chunky jewellery over just a sweater can lift the whole thing completely.

If there's no money to spend and little time either the one thing you should do is always wear lippy when leaving the house. Just a quick sweep of face powder will make a huge difference if you've no time for any other makeup on a daily basis. I know you've recently had a hair-cut-from-hell disaster so think going soft and fluffy rather than short and severe, if possible.

Steer well away from black near the face as that's not always flattering and try to wear a brighter colour.

Now might be a good time for a wardrobe-sort to see what you've actually got and what every item will go with. In my book, if an item will only go with one other thing then they both have to go because they're not earning their keep.

Never forget that the one thing that lifts an average-looking woman to beautiful is a cheerful smile. Coupled with a positive mental attitude is truly a winning combination

savingwannabe

Use the trinny and suzannah book. The first one. The others are rubbish. Ever since i followed their advice people come up and complement me all the time. No more buying expensive mistakes. Also some lovely clothes can be bought v cheap on ebay.

Happy searching.

:j

charlies-aunt

Thank you everyone all over again, I'm overwhelmed with all your help - I do feel a lot more positive and that I'm on my way slowly to a new 'me'...although when I got up at 5.30 for my bike ride, I realised that the clocks went forward at the weekend and it was still quite dark. Not to be beaten, I rode on the path (we live out in the country so I wasn't in any danger of upsetting any pedestrians) and did two miles....I hadn't realised how weak and unfit I have become as I was wobbling all over - also definately need to buy a good sports bra for this kind of lark!. DD2 has lent me her exercise dvd so I'm giving that a go instead in the morning until it gets a bit lighter at that time.

Did the whole shower cream, body butter, hand cream and face cream thing in the bathroom too...my skin has felt really nice all day and even managed a bit of tinted moisturiser and a slick of lippy before heading out of the door to work, although it had disappeared off my face by trhe time I got to work!

Hmmm...the clothes were a bit more problematical....black, saggy and baggy area a recurrent theme - definately room for improvement on that front....but the new bras are priority item number one and number two will be replacing my big, white cotton granny knicks with something a bit more ladylike.

Thanks again everyone

.

lostinrates

charlies-aunt wrote: »

T.... face cream thing in the bathroom too...my skin has felt really nice all day and even managed a bit of tinted moisturiser and a slick of lippy before heading out of the door to work, although it had disappeared off my face by trhe time I got to work!..

.

aha....well, moisturise at home, then go to work and slip make up on there....moisturiser needs at least 10 minutes to sink in .. so rather than waste time, use it for your commute, then just apply make up quickly in car before going in