Help! I need to look more feminine

ooobedoo

If you have a college near you...get yourself booked in for a chop, it's very cheap. Takes longer as they are training but are over seen by a quailified person

Bronnie

Charlie's aunt; I do understand where you're coming from. I was in a very similar situation throughout my thirties:
there simply isn't enough time or enegy left to expend on yourself. I re-invented myself age 42, am now the same age as you and haven't looked back!! Don't want to bombard you as changes one by one are often the best way, but since we're brainstorming, here are a few thoughts!!

Don't know how big you are in the boobs dept, but have you got a good well-fitting bra? A decent bra, hoisting things back up to where they should be (if necessary!!) and giving a good shape takes the years off and can be slimming, giving you more length between waist and boobs again. Clothes look and hang better immediately? Well worth taking yourself off to be professionally fitted (lots of old threads on the topic here), even if you only treat yourself to one new decent bra, that you rinse out and dry overnight!

A comfortable, flattering, contemporary daytime look is the fashion for long-line fine-knit cardigans. There are lots of these around in lovely bright colours, very cheaply in Primark or the supermarket M&S etc. Wear them with a simple longline top underneath and jazz up with a long necklace or scarf. They cover all the lumps and bumps and are great for this time of year. Match them up with a favourite existing skirt or trousers.

Do you wear make-up? Should say do you want to wear make-up in the light of the other thread here atm! A little light foundation, touch of blusher, slick of mascara and swipe of lipgloss takes 5 minutes max to put on, but can give a softer, feminine look. Keep the lipgloss handy to top up as necessary. Short hair is great, easy to maintain and a little product worked through it can give a wash and go style a bit more polish! If you go to the hairdresser, watch what they do and ask advice as to how you can tweak the style at home.



HTH!

Bron
x

snugglepet20

Shoes with heels will make you look taller, slimmer and sexier. Pick your best bits and emphasise them with your clothes i.e if you have a chubby tummy and slim legs wear fitted jeans with loose tops, never wear everything baggy or everything tight you will just look fat.

luxor4t

charlies-aunt wrote: »

.. some days I think I look more butch than my oh.

Hee-e-e-l-l-p-p-p! I want to look feminine again - at 52 I'm too old for girly stuff but it would be so nice to feel good about myself again but at the moment, I'm feel so lost I don't know where to start......

Hi Charlies-aunt,
I know that feeling - I'm 52 too.

It is something that happpens to all women as we age - features coarsen, faces get a bit hairier :embarasse so short hair, masculine drab clothes & no make up really adds to the masculine effect. Sadly, my MiL looks like a man from behind - flat shoes, dark trousers, plain shapeless fleece or anorak, short hair.........:eek:

I didn't want to end up like that so I've
grown my hair a bit longer,
stepped up my skincare,
started wearing skirts & dresses more,
try to remember accessories

I think colour is crucial & I now choose pastel colours & florals to lift my basic casual wardrobe of jeans etc. After years of avoiding the colour I now have two pink jumpers & a lush cardi .

I know men can wear almost any colour these days, but skirts still haven't become uni-sex!

Souk08

Start with the basics and do one thing at a time ie hair or skin or clothes. I get cheap trainee cuts for a tenner, use Nivea Soft moisturiser and ALWAYS clothes shop in sales for stuff I will wear but do my toenails, wear make up every day and NEVER leave the house without a heel on. You owe it to yorself to feel good about yourself! Good Luck X

hethmar

I was the same My biggest move upwards was to go for a facial at a beauty salon. Id never had one in my life and imagined it would be full of pretty young women having bits done, but it wasnt. Lots of ladies just like you and me. Once Id had a good facial and realised you dont have to have open pores, dry patches or black heads, I then got a skin regime for myself and people actually compliment me on my skin now

It doesnt need to cost a lot, try the Boots No 7 range, (3 for 2 at the moment). Their age protect cleanser is really good and then Pure and Protect intense serum, then a moisturiser - their new one uplifting and radiance sounds good (have to admit I have flashed out and use Clinique repairwear as a moisturiser now). Oh and do it regularly, in the morning AND at night - get a night time cream.

Get your hair cut and coloured and lose the excess weight. It can be done And by this summer you will already be feeling more like a woman again Very best of luck.

belfastgirl23

How are things money wise at the minute? Can you afford to spend a little on yourself? And do you have a little bit of time to spend?

I think the advice about a good bra is very sound. It can make a huge difference to your figure and is a real 'foundation' to build on.

The next stop would be a decent haircut. Get a recommendation from someone who has nice hair (especially if it's similar to yours eg fine, thick, wavy etc) and go to see their hairdresser. Admit that you don't have a clue and have gone to them because they were recommended and ask them what they think. They're experts. Tell them if you're looking for something low maintenance, they should take it into account.

Oh and another fan here of the OCM

I would also add too though that one of the things that really can lift your look is getting enough exercise. And it's free - either walking or running or whatever. It lifts your skin and helps your figure. And because it makes you feel better from the inside it shows on the outside. I think it should be one of the things you start investing time in if you have any. It will improve your health as well as your looks

Lots of luck though. I've just been experimenting a bit with trying to rejuvinate my look - I wear way too much black and at 40 it's starting to be unflattering. My tip with clothes is to really try taking yourself out of your comfort zone and trying on lots of different things to start to see what suits you. That said I haven't exactly cracked this one myself

Lots of luck. Identifying the problem is the first step to fixing it!

charlies-aunt

Thank you everyone - I'm very touched to get so many positive replies.

I hold my hand up as very guilty of wearing bad bras - I have been making myself wait for some decent ones until I can get some weight off but I am going to get some well fitting ones to wear now.A quick hoisting up of my saggy bra straps was enough to see that my boobs would look a helluva lot better with a better bra.

I have also dug out from the cupboard the small stock toiletries and perfumes given to me over the past few years - was keeping them until the day I 'deserved' to use them -- decided today was that day.

Planning a trip to Mataln to treat myself to a few scarves and new handbag...but the priority is to ring a salon tomorrow to book a hair appointment.

I've even got the bike out of the shed, tyres pumped up and alarm clock set half an hour early so I can have a half hour bike ride before breakfast....and I 've been very good on my diet today!

Thank you again everyone - I feel much more positive now and determined to 're-invent' myself at 52.

belfastgirl23

charlies-aunt wrote: »

Thank you everyone - I'm very touched to get so many positive replies.

I hold my hand up as very guilty of wearing bad bras - I have been making myself wait for some decent ones until I can get some weight off but I am going to get some well fitting ones to wear now.A quick hoisting up of my saggy bra straps was enough to see that my boobs would look a helluva lot better with a better bra.

I have also dug out from the cupboard the small stock toiletries and perfumes given to me over the past few years - was keeping them until the day I 'deserved' to use them -- decided today was that day.

Planning a trip to Mataln to treat myself to a few scarves and new handbag...but the priority is to ring a salon tomorrow to book a hair appointment.

I've even got the bike out of the shed, tyres pumped up and alarm clock set half an hour early so I can have a half hour bike ride before breakfast....and I 've been very good on my diet today!

Thank you again everyone - I feel much more positive now and determined to 're-invent' myself at 52.

Wow most impressive, please let us know how it all goes, in fact you might be an inspiration for some of us

Would be worth trying a few different shops and trying on clothes as well, some shops suit my shape and some don't, why not give a few a go just out of interest...

xxvickixx

I look forward to hearing how you get on. Why not join one of the diet threads. The monthly one that The Dragon does is great, very supportive and loads of ideas to try.
xx