Baby Benefits

spendaholiceejit

Valli wrote: »

have to say I did try with cloth nappies but DS got AWFUL nappy rash - so much so that he had blisters from his own urine.

You must do what's right for you - breast or bottle, reusable or disposable - it's your choice. And it's no-one else's business.

I had DS by emergency section after a frankly terrible attempt at an induced labour, he was well overdue, big, I was not dilating and he had low oxygen, ...then I BF him. My midwife asked me to talk to expectant mums up at the docs about breastfeeding, so off I went - then she introduced me and asked me to start off with the story of the birth. I actually asked her if she was serious, given that DS had a traumatic arrival but she said yes, to I told it like it was...one of the expectant mums then asked me if I thought I DESERVED TO HAVE A HEALTHY SON AS I HAD NOT GIVEN BIRTH NORMALLY!
My reply was that I didn't care HOW my baby was born as long as I walked out of that hospital carrying a healthy baby.
A lot of people will tell you what you SHOULD do (as has been mentioned above, don't get involved with the breastfeeding clique...and this from someone who succesfully did BF) - you do whats right for you, baby and partner...it really isn't anyone elses business.

This made me laugh, but would you believe that it is actually not that uncommon for pregnant women to come out with something like that! I used to work in a baby shop, and the ladies would have been all reading up on this, that and the other, be adamant that they were going to have drug-free, hypnobirths, breast fed exclusively from the start etc... I would just agree with them but If I had a £ for every time I saw the parent afterwards and asked how did it go? and they would say, "horrific, I needed an epidural" I wouldnt be on MSE!

The problem is, that for a first baby a lot of us are completely green. No amount of reading up will ever prepare anyone for labour.

In regards to cloth nappies, food from scratch etc.. I can't comment :rotfl: I'm more of a convenience kinda girlie. Babies are definitely only as expensive as you make them, they only need a few bits and pieces to get by.

Snoozle

Valli wrote: »

have to say I did try with cloth nappies but DS got AWFUL nappy rash - so much so that he had blisters from his own urine.

You must do what's right for you - breast or bottle, reusable or disposable - it's your choice. And it's no-one else's business.

I had DS by emergency section after a frankly terrible attempt at an induced labour, he was well overdue, big, I was not dilating and he had low oxygen, ...then I BF him. My midwife asked me to talk to expectant mums up at the docs about breastfeeding, so off I went - then she introduced me and asked me to start off with the story of the birth. I actually asked her if she was serious, given that DS had a traumatic arrival but she said yes, to I told it like it was...one of the expectant mums then asked me if I thought I DESERVED TO HAVE A HEALTHY SON AS I HAD NOT GIVEN BIRTH NORMALLY!
My reply was that I didn't care HOW my baby was born as long as I walked out of that hospital carrying a healthy baby.
A lot of people will tell you what you SHOULD do (as has been mentioned above, don't get involved with the breastfeeding clique...and this from someone who succesfully did BF) - you do whats right for you, baby and partner...it really isn't anyone elses business.

You are so right - I didn't mean my earlier post to sound like 'you must use washable nappies, I just meant that they are not as hard work as people imagine. And in my case, my daughter got terrible nappy rash from disposables (presumably it was the chemicals - my MIL kept putting them on her. Grr!) whereas we had no problem with cloth nappies. Which just goes to show that its each to their own.

As for the comments on your baby's birth, my blood is boiling just reading them. I had a similar birth, and I honestly have to count to ten to stop me punching people (and I am such a wimpy peacemaker on most subjects:rotfl:) when they comment on how lucky I was not to have had to give birth the hard way. Newsflash - there is no easy way, and the sooner these sanctimonious natural birth, eat your own placenta, breastfeed until they start university crew get that into their narrow minded skulls, the easier it would be for everyone. :mad: Natural is not always best - smallpox is natural, but I doubt anyone would want it, just because its 'what nature intended'.

Oh, and I couldn't breastfeed either, despite trying. My baby drew blood every time, couldn't latch on, and one of my nipples split so badly that it was starting to come away from my body, it looked like someone had taken a knife to it. So, according to the all natural crew, I had failed as a mother before I even left the hospital. And they wonder why women struggle to cope?!

Sorry, just went off on one, but the way some women treat other women makes me so angry.

caz2703

Snoozle wrote: »

Oh, and I couldn't breastfeed either, despite trying. My baby drew blood every time, couldn't latch on, and one of my nipples split so badly that it was starting to come away from my body, it looked like someone had taken a knife to it. So, according to the all natural crew, I had failed as a mother before I even left the hospital. And they wonder why women struggle to cope?!

Sorry, just went off on one, but the way some women treat other women makes me so angry.

My son screamed blue murder when we (me, hubby and numerous midwives & health visitors) tried to get him to latch. Expressing came to a grinding halt when I noticed blood dripping into the bottle so formula it was! I won't say I feel sorry for you as I'm sure you don't want sympathy but I can empathise at what you've gone through and know that no two pregnancies are the same so who knows .... maybe next time we'll have proper natural births and breast feed our kids until they're in school, not wean them until they're at least 12 months and keep them in our bedrooms (preferably co-sleeping) then we can shove it up the other snot-nosed mothers posteriors!!!

dianeio

One of the nices gifts I got was 5 handknitted cardigans from a friends mother - my mum was shocked when she seem her granddaughter in one, she said if she had of known I liked knitted stuff she would have had a wardrobe knitted for you, she thought these days women only want bought items. I found knitted stuff easier to get on and off the child.;)

metalgal

People can be horribly judgemental with what you do with your baby. I knew I would have a C/S from I was 11 years old. (bad hips) I knew it but when i was pregnant some people looked down on me, "too posh to push." I was not afraid of birth or labour more that as i pushed my baby out i would also push out my femurs from their sockets. I was made to feel like such a failure by the other mums on the ward, but having a section was no walk in the park, esp afterwards. From the moment that blue line appears your bombarded with info about what to do what not to do and it seems that if you don't follow the instructions (which change every week) to the letter your baby will be sick or die and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!

Will I ever be able to do anything right by the "experts"? I gave my DD solids at 3 months, cos she was starving, i let my dog within 10 feet of her, i sometimes nap with her on the sofa. I do it the way i want to and they way that makes my baby happy.

IF anyone is expecting reading this, bin the books, burn the leaflets, just do what YOU think is best for YOUR baby, just use some common sense and instincts you know your baby more than any "expert" ever could.