Baby Benefits

nozzadamozza

As you can see, babies get you up very early(have i really been up since 5!)!

I hear noise over the monitor so have to go, but just to say, I used Freecycle to get some things- moses basket, mobile for bed, baby books, changing matt- every little helps:)

blueberrypie

quintwins wrote: »

i never really used my sling, didn't have one with the twins, as it would have been dificult and jacks never went in his then he was 2 big i recently gave it to a friend however i have a mothercare baby carrier which is lovely and can be used to breastfeed in

I don't know what your Mothercare one is like, but the problem with a lot of carriers is that they are very bad for the baby's hips and spine. The baby should never be supported with his weight on his bum and his legs hanging down.

I do have a couple of friends who have carried twins in wraps - either one on each hip, or one on front and one in the back. I know people probably go "wow" but the weight distribution with a wrap is so good that it's really comfortable. I've had a baby on my front and a three-year-old on my back and while it was quite a feat to actually *get* to that position, once they were up, it was fine.

(has anyone else read this? i saw it this morning it seemed relevant http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1259358/yummy-mummy-baby-slings-kill.html )

It's not really a very, erm, informative or accurate article - there's a world of difference between the slings that are dangerous ("bag slings") and other ring-slings and wraps. There's more information here - http://www.hotslings.com/sling_safety_release and I did have another link which was very good and showed photos of the different kinds, where you could clearly see the differences, but the link is broken - if I can find a working link, I'll edit to add it.

ETA: This isn't the one I saw before, but it has good clear info about what's safe and what isn't: http://www.sleepingbaby.net/safety.php - also good info at http://www.thebabywearer.com/

if you really want to suceed with breatfeeding, don'y buy any milk, you can pick it up at any point if you need it, however if you acually have to go and get it from the shop your less likely give in, in the middle of your 10th night with no sleep, cause if you just stick at it for another few days it gets better

Good advice :-)

SuperMum2010

If we all waited until we could afford a baby, population would fizzle out!! I think its great that you are thinking this way though - but totally agree with the general feeling that whilst you need the basics, the rest is all for show and you can make a baby as expensive as you like!!! Seriously think about the returning to work thing though - unless you are on a fabulous salary I just dont see how it can be worth the stress of spending 90% of your low salary on childcare, although I can see that for some things you need to show a higher salary (eg mortgage apps etc)...good luck though - it will be worth it
(from a frazzled working mum of 3 - LOL!!)

curly07

Wow! thank you so much everyone for your replys! u are all helping me get my head round this!! :-)

Ok...
I am totally all for trying to breast feed.. better for baby better for me etc! also money saving of course! as they say no pain no gain!! lol.

Def considering reusable nappies now thanks to your advice! seems to be so much cheaper! if that worked out it would be brill!

About work.... this is the hardest thing we are trying to work out...I earn £15,500 at present... my boyfriend earns just over £20,000. I'm pretty sure we couldn't survive on his wage alone.. as our mortgage is quite expensive.. £740 a month! So i would probably need to return to work, much as i would love to spend as much time with the baby as possible... the next question is, am i better to go back part time rather than full time?! The thought of both of us workin full time just to cover childcare costs breaks my heart but I know so many people have no choice but to do it!! :-(

Its so hard to know what is best to do! but i really want to be sure we are making the right decisions without getting into loads of debt!

Also.. my boyfriend drives, i at present don't but have got an old car to practice in and hope to get my test by the summer! fingers crossed!

We don't live a fancy lifestlye, we stay in alot more now than we used to so that aspect of things won't be too much of a shock!

I have been looking a freegle, thanks for that! looks good!

so many things to think about!!! lol agggghhhh!

thanks for your posts all appreciated!

warmhands.coldheart

Here's a blokes input (Dad of two)

I'd agree with the comments that:

If at all humanly possible you should give the breast feeding a go.
From what I've seen from my wifes experience..
1. yes it'll be hard on occasions but it creates a closer bond with baby (I believe I can see a difference in my how my son..(breastfed) & daughter (not breastfed interact with my wife)
2. better for baby - breast is best...
3. saves a fortune on formual milk (it's bloody expensive)

when a bit older You do NOT need to buy Jars of that mushed up !!!!!! that they call baby food.. (again very pricy for what it is)
basically pretty much everything you eat.. baby can eat. (within reason obviously... don't think they'll think much of a chinese on a friday night!!)
worth investing in a basic blender/food processor. whatever you're having blitz it up and baby can have it too. Make batches and freeze them.. very convenient.. and give them loads of fruit... they love it and good to trian them early on good diet. my two love Bananas. apples, pears, avacado's, rasins you name it.....

About 2/3rds of the stuff you think you need you probably don't. Don't get sucked into the consumer culture there is around babies.. No you don't need a £150 digital video baby monitor with room temperature alarm!!... that basic £20 model from Argos will do!! as will the freeby paper thermometer...

another thing I'd say is don't be affraid to tell people what to buy you if you know they will be buying you something. the amount of stuff people will buy you that will be of no use or never used is nothing out of the ordinary!

quintwins

hi i stay at home with my boys, i lost my job just before i got preg (i found out 3 days after losing my job, was a shock even tho we had been trying) we made a decision then and there i'd stay at home then go back to school once there in school, we live on £20,000 (slightly more but not much) our rent is £540, and we save £500 a month so it is very do able. we do still have nice things, i'm very cautious about our food shop, i'm also currently doing driving lessons at £20 a week, if you really want to stay at home you can, but be prepared for it being tight sometimes


look out for used reusable nappies, the thing with these are there are several diferent type but they all get better with age, you might even get some free of freegle (p.s this is the new freecycle)

to be honest going back full time or part time depends on your job, even part time you'll be working to pay for childcare (as i don't think tax credits will give you much help), but if you can take afew years off and still go back and survive financially i'd do that, but if it's unlikely you'll get your job back, or that what ever field you work in will have moved on then i'd see about going part time

good luck, babys fry your brain but are worth it (i was up 4 times since midnight and then up at 7, in his defence he's not well )

warmhands.coldheart

Now the more cynical side of me..

you say you and your "boyfriend"

Now I'm not for one moment insinuating you would even think of this nor am I justifying this but as you are not married. I'm sure there's all sorts of additional "single parent" benifits you could claim.. but I'd be the wrong person to ask about those.

please don't call me all the names under the sun.. I'm just going on what I've heard from a woman I worked with... she lived with her boyfriend and had a child.... she said when she got married last year she lost loads of her benefits.
now I believe she claimed she "wasn't" living with her boyfriend but she was.. so yes she was fiddling the system so to speak but then doesn't everyone!!

quintwins

warmhands.coldheart wrote: »

worth investing in a basic blender/food processor. whatever you're having blitz it up and baby can have it too. Make batches and freeze them.. very convenient.. and give them loads of fruit... they love it and good to trian them early on good diet. my two love Bananas. apples, pears, avacado's, rasins you name it.....

About 2/3rds of the stuff you think you need you probably don't. Don't get sucked into the consumer culture there is around babies.. No you don't need a £150 digital video baby monitor with room temperature alarm!!... that basic £20 model from Argos will do!! as will the freeby paper thermometer...

another thing I'd say is don't be affraid to tell people what to buy you if you know they will be buying you something. the amount of stuff people will buy you that will be of no use or never used is nothing out of the ordinary!

total agree with all of this except, i don't blend my babys food and never have the only smooth food he has in porridge, this is a personal choice and my reasoning behind it is unless you over feed your baby they don't acually choke, my 7 month takes big bites of banana and copes fine dispite having no teeth, and lumps develop there jaws better making there speach better/quicker, whio ever it was who said they were going to do baby lead weaning will agree with this, we do a combination of BLW and our own thing


again baby monitors can be got secondhand, my baby likes to sleep on his tummy and even tho i know he;ll be fine i wasn't keen on it so i bought a secondhand anglecare breathing monitor, and it was the best money i spent, when the twins were little i regulary woke to check them in the night, this way i know he's fine, and he wriggles all around his cot in his sleep, the only false alarms we even had was when i moved it down when changing his bedding and forgot to put it back, but once fixed it's been perfect, and i got it for 25% of rrp

warmhands.coldheart

quintwins wrote: »

total agree with all of this except, i don't blend my babys food and never have the only smooth food he has in porridge, this is a personal choice and my reasoning behind it is unless you over feed your baby they don't acually choke, my 7 month takes big bites of banana and copes fine dispite having no teeth, and lumps develop there jaws better making there speach better/quicker, whio ever it was who said they were going to do baby lead weaning will agree with this, we do a combination of BLW and our own thing

Would agree in theory but it is handy for the quick blitz just to break things up into manageable chewable pieces especially for things like red meat which can be quite chewy and hard for them.. easier than trying to chop it up with a knife..... hmmmmmmm maybe that's more of a reflection on my cooking come to think of it!!:D

caz2703

Lots of great advice on here but one thing I will say for breast feeding - it doesn't always work and it isn't always for lack of help and support. My son refused point blank to latch when we were in hospital to the point he was still jaundiced and his blood sugar was very low. The hospital were going to keep him in unless he improved so I had to express as best I could. No amount of support from health visitors etc could make DS latch so he ended up being bottle fed. Initially I could keep up expressing but there came a point where he needed more than I could provide so he's been formula fed for all but 1 month of his life. At the end of the day, I'd rather my baby was getting something rather than nothing so any guilt I felt for not being able to breast feed has gone as I know I tried everything I could.

As I said before, buy as much as you can second hand be be aware that a baby cannot re-use a mattress previously used by another child so no matter what you do you will have to buy a new mattress unless you get an un-used one obviously. Car seats and pram systems can cost a fortune. Ours was £300 for a Cosatto Cabi system including car seat. Our crib and cotbed were bought by my family and bedroom furniture was bought by the in-laws. Nappies are bought from Asda during their baby event and I always keep an eye out for offers for wipes.

As for jars of food - well that's a touchy subject. My bubba is fed on Hipp jars and baby pasta & sauces at present as our diet has foods that I feel are too high in salt and sugar. I was in Sainsburys recently and saw Annabel Karmel cottage pie on the shelf above some Sainsburys own kids cottage pie. The salt levels in the Annabel (so called child exprt/guru) were something like 4 times the own brand one so be warned, just because something has baby or expert splashed on it doesn't mean it's any good for them.