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Friend's ex moving back in and threatening to bring new gf
SignificantAlter
Posts: 35 Forumite
Hi I am wondering if you could give me some advice for a friend of mine?
She is a tenant, in England, of a council. Her ex is still on the tenancy.
They split up, he moved out. They have two very young children together (2 and under 6 months) and she has a teenager from a previous relationship.
Her ex attended the council offices to end his part of the tenancy. He filled in the forms to end his part in the tenancy but for some reason neglected to sign them. This apparently makes them unenforceable. It is simply opinion but it's believed this was deliberate.
The council has refused to re house the ex stating that he has made himself intentionally homeless, therefore the ex has now decided to move back in, bringing his new girlfriend over to visit as and when he likes. He's not been paying towards the kids at all, my friend is having to rely on benefits and as they have been slow to come through managing on practically nothing. He's also messing with agreed access visits meaning that my friend has been unable to rely on these times to visit her mother in hospital.
He's been driving past the house at all hours of day and night spying on my friend and he is emotionally abusive.
It is clear that despite the ex having somewhere else to go, and having the money to pay rent (which at present my friend does not) he is moving in to further emotionally abuse my friend.
Is there anything my friend can do? She cannot afford to take him to court.
She is a tenant, in England, of a council. Her ex is still on the tenancy.
They split up, he moved out. They have two very young children together (2 and under 6 months) and she has a teenager from a previous relationship.
Her ex attended the council offices to end his part of the tenancy. He filled in the forms to end his part in the tenancy but for some reason neglected to sign them. This apparently makes them unenforceable. It is simply opinion but it's believed this was deliberate.
The council has refused to re house the ex stating that he has made himself intentionally homeless, therefore the ex has now decided to move back in, bringing his new girlfriend over to visit as and when he likes. He's not been paying towards the kids at all, my friend is having to rely on benefits and as they have been slow to come through managing on practically nothing. He's also messing with agreed access visits meaning that my friend has been unable to rely on these times to visit her mother in hospital.
He's been driving past the house at all hours of day and night spying on my friend and he is emotionally abusive.
It is clear that despite the ex having somewhere else to go, and having the money to pay rent (which at present my friend does not) he is moving in to further emotionally abuse my friend.
Is there anything my friend can do? She cannot afford to take him to court.
0
Comments
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Your post is confusting, has he moved back in or not.
You say he has and gets his gf to visit, then you say he is driving past day and night
spying on her.
If she is afraid, tell her to inform the police. Tell them he is stalking her.
Speak to the council and explain it. Ask them to change the locks if he has a key, if they wont change them, tell her to change them hersellf.
If she is on benefits she would not have to pay to take him to court.
Seems a bit strange that his girlfriend allows him to stalk his ex wife.make the most of it, we are only here for the weekend.
and we will never, ever return.0 -
He moved out a month ago.
Since then he has driven past the house day and night.
He says he's moving back in this week, with his girlfriend visiting as and when.0 -
She can contact Shelter and the council to understand her housing rights and how to get the tenancy into her sole name, Womens Aid and the Police for the domestic violence (it doesn't need to be physical violence but can be emotional abuse and harassment).0
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She urgently needs to see a solicitor who has a franchise to carry out publicly funded family work. She can then make an emergency application to the Court and ultimately have the tenancy transferred to her.0
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I would encourage your friend to go to the police for abuse. They will also know who else she can go to for advice, shelter etc.0
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Ok, she's seeking advice from WA and has an appointment at a solicitor next week. Legal aided.
Can I just ask in the meantime can she say the gf is not allowed in the house? She's trying to protect the kids...0 -
Complicated. She should arrange to get the locks changed now - if needs be pay for it herself if the council won't do it.
She should arrange to let him see the kids at a place away from the house. Then there's no need for him or her to come in.0 -
Your friend doesn't necessarily need to change the whole locks. The barrels can be replaced which is a five-minute job with a screwdriver. New barrels can be bought at most hardware stores or places like B&Q for about a fiver depending on the kind of locks involved0
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However as the ex is still on the tenancy he also has a right to be in the house.This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0
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If you have similar locks to your friends you might be able to swap the barrels, so costing nothing.
Your friend also needs to assert herself so she isn't bullied by the ex - probably easier to say then do if she has 2 young children and a sick mother - but bullies only get worse so the soon she starts setting some boundaries the easier it will be in the future.0
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