House prices take their toll on marriage

Really2

Cannon_Fodder wrote: »

Official figures only include 2008. http://www.statistics.gov.uk/cci/nugget.asp?id=170

Down since 2003;

And lower than 1980 onwards. So no real link with house ownership TBH.

GDB2222

Divorce rates reduce the longer the marriage has lasted. As marriage has gone out of fashion of late, the current pool of married couples have been together longer on average than was the case in the past, so you'd expect lower dovorce rates overall. Unless you correct for this sort of factor, you can't make any valid comparison with the past.

lostinrates

treliac wrote: »

I once acted as a witness to the marriage of 2 strangers. The mind wandered off onto various reasons why they might have done it like that. There didn't seem anything suspicious about them. Perhaps they thought like you.... you obviously don't have any regrets.

We would have had strangers, DH asked if that were ok, and we were told it is better to have friends if ''possible'' so we had friends, but asked friends who were couple...to keep things simple.

The reason for us was it was fuss free and quick, within our powers to organise and we felt committed to each other in always but legally already. Our friends and family are scattered all over the world, and organising the big wedding our families were keen for us to have, and indeed, part of ''us'' would have perhaps enjoyed, was proving difficult. There was of course no bridezilla, but it turns out that there was mother of the bride-zilla, nd even less expected, father of the groomzilla:o. Our family...they weren't thrilled, ut they understood why (we were having trouble getting a date two years in advance everyone in the immediate family could commit to...logisitclly everything was a drama).

I don't regret the way we married for a second,it was achingly romantic really. We think when we buy it will be an opportunity to have the scale of party people might have more expected of us, with far less stress and less heightened emotions.

pingu2209

I don't think you should get into serious debt for your wedding day. However, I also don't think it is unusual or unwarrented to want a 'big' day, for the bride to have the big dress (which quite often does come with a big price), and spend more on the venue etc.

Personally I believe it is nicer to have a band instead of a dj. To have silver service instead of fish and chips and to have a roses instead of carnations etc. All the 'up grades' cost money and if you have the money - go for it!

I also think it is absolute bo**ocks that there is a link between the more spend on the wedding the more likely to divorse.

The thread on here sounds like it has been written by a load of people who believe they deserve a pat on the back for being so fantastic and financially savvy.

ruggedtoast

A girl I worked with was an administrator in the public sector, she got married to a policeman, not a senior policeman, a bobby.

Their wedding cost them £25,000. Absolutely insane, and obviously most of the cost was borne by their parents.

When me and Mrs toast tied the knot we realised that anything remotely connected to the word "wedding" in rip-off Britain entitles the vendor to charge about 700 times the cost of the same item / service not connected to wedding.

We got married in Italy and had an amazing, utterly beautiful experience for about the same price a registry office and a dismal hotel function room with a warmed over buffet meal would have cost here.

The only part of the expenditure the UK economy got from us was the dress and the rings and some bits and bobs from Confetti.

Northants_Simon

weddings, a subject close to my heart as my business is wedding related.

Nobody says you have to spend a fortune, some people choose to, some don't. What is wrong with spending £25k if you have that sort of money? It's a bit like people who spend £100k on a car, a £500 car will still get you from A to B. Some people spend money because it makes them feel good. Is a £2000 photographer better than a £500 photographer, of course (well usually anyway). Is a band better than a cheesy DJ or your mate with his ipod? Most people will think so. Is a 5 course meal better than McDonalds, you bet it is.

Percy1983

There is a big amount of opinion in this, of course if you have a massive income then do what you like, but for me and my better half spending anything close to 25k is sheer insanity as that is 30% of the mortgages we are looking at.

Now the rest can be purely subjective, yes a £35 a head meal is better than Mcdonalds, but is is it £25 better than an £10 a per head meal?

To me a big wedding is more about showing off 'what I can afford' or in many cases what you can't afford but pretend you can.

I can say there will be costs involved in my wedding, but the day is about me committing the rest of my life to the women I love.

What I am saying is if I spend £3k or £25k on the wedding I will still be the happiest man alive, I will just be richer/poorer depending which route I took.

Funnily I would be really impressed if the meal was fish and chips, more a statement of this is who we are instead of the fake bullpoo production you think it should be. (Thinking about it I will see what the other half thinks to that one).

Its about the love you share, not how much you can spend on ice swans!

lostinrates

Northants_Simon wrote: »

What is wrong with spending £25k if you have that sort of money?.

Absolutely nothing. When it becomes less clear is when you don't have that sort of money. Is it sensible, for example, when borrowing to the hilt for other things, like housing, or perhaps when in receipt of some form benefit...to use that to save for something ther than it was intended for?

There is absolutely nothing wrong in paying for any good service you can afford. In fact, its positively a good thing to do;....both for quality of life, and for supporting people producing quality goods/services. The problem in our society, s we don't seem clear on what we can afford, and what we can't!

uzubairu

lostinrates wrote: »

There is absolutely nothing wrong in paying for any good service you can afford. In fact, its positively a good thing to do;....both for quality of life, and for supporting people producing quality goods/services. The problem in our society, s we don't seem clear on what we can afford, and what we can't!

A colleague at work has already spent £2k on deposits etc for her wedding next year, it looks like it might end up costing about £10K.

She earns £17K and her fiance earns less in a job he ansolutely hates and wants to leave.
They started renting together last year bought a new car as well (repayable over 5 years) and she wants to start a family the year after they get married.
From what she has told me, her sums don't add up but she is still going to have a bash at having the wedding of her dreams.
Her close friends have given up on tryingto get her to change her mind.

lostinrates - we had the some of the same problems as you.

Me and the OH went against the wishes of both sets of parents (they couldn't seem to understand that it was meant to be our day and we didn't want silly amounts of money being spent on things we didn't want and wouldn't get pleasure from - we got sick of their bickering over the wedding plans for 9 months) and got married at the registry office in Manchester without them, and announced it to them when we got back from our holiday in New York.

Close friends were the witnesses, and it was a lovely day.
I doubt it would have been bettered if we had let them have their own way, as we have such lovely memories of the day and our week in New York.

Met in 1990, married in 1999 and still accomodating each other's bad habits in 2010.

PasturesNew

Batchy wrote: »

A friend of mine got married, spent what I thought was an excessive 20k, turns out he got a 50k bonus from work to pay for it.

Plus he has now doubled his salary to 110k...

Fair play to him though he deserves it for all the work he puts in.

That must be sexism in the workplace.

As there are more women than men, it means that women do not have an equal chance of gaining such a payout ....