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Hypno's "just for today" diary of rediscovery.
hypno06
Posts: 32,296 Forumite
No surprises then.......4000 posts in my last diary coincides nicely with the confirmation that my mortgage has finally been transferred into my name, and the responsibility for keeping the roof over my heads and the heads of my children is all mine. No one to fall back on - the buck stops here.
It also coincides nicely with the beginning of spring this weekend. An excellent season for new starts. Some of the bulbs have had a few extra weeks in the dark before they pushed through this year, and I can identify with that. But like the daffodils, I will get there eventually.
I've obviously had a torrid couple of months - for those that are new to my mutterings, my husband of 20 years left me a few weeks ago. The remaining debt, and the mortgage, is all in my name now, but in return, I have kept the house, and have the ability to provide our children with the stability that they need.
People generally think I'm doing brilliantly in the circumstances. My response to that is generally "what choice do I have?" I can't change the past. I can't make my husband want to be with me. What I CAN do, is to make a success of my career, to keep the finances in order, and to keep the house, providing a home and a safe place to be for the children. Some days I have genuine positivity, some days it is a front. I never know what each day will be - a genuine one or an act. What I do know, though, is that I have to keep going. If I don't make a success of my job, I don't get paid. If I don't get paid, I am in trouble.
As I have mentioned on my last diary, OH and I do communicate. I don't hate him. I may hate the situation that he has put me in at times, but I don't wish him any malice. We are parents to our children, and we agree that they are the most important thing to both of us. That is a very important thing to be able to maintain, and I truly hope it continues, for their sakes.
But I can't get away from the fact that things didn't work. That is sad, and I have to learn from that, but not wallow in it. I have to move forward......which is not the same, I don't think, as moving on. I need to identify who I am, where I am heading, and what I am doing on a day to day basis that needs working on, and what works just fine thank you very much.
That involves a lot of soul searching, a lot of effort, a lot of practical thinking, re budgets, realities of life, etc. It can be incredibly emotional, even when things are going well, and it can be exhausting. But then, the burst of energy occasionally comes, and I need to be ready to run with that, and make the most of it in case it doesn't make another appearance for a few days.
So, before I ramble much more about the crapness of life......the theme for this new diary is "Just for Today....." In Reiki, we follow 5 principles. From time to time I need to remind myself of these, and I think now is a perfect time to do so as they will see me through these "odd" times.....
1. Just for today, I will not be angry.
2. Just for today, I will not worry.
3. Just for today, I will be grateful.
4. Just for today, I will do my work honestly.
5. Just for today, I will be kind to every living thing.
It works very well with the principle of taking one day at a time, which is what I am trying to do right now, but it also works well with other things, that threaten to sabotage my progress.....so I can also have:
Just for today, I will eat healthily.......or
Just for today, I will stuff myself silly with chocolate. It doesn't mean I have failed on my diet, it just means that today I am eating chocolate.
Just for today, I will make an effort with the way I present myself........or
Just for today, I will slob around in my pjs until it is time to go back to bed again.
Just for today, I will keep a lid on my spending.......or
Just for today, I will spend more than I intended. It doesn't mean I am on the slippery road of debt, it just means that today I spent too much.
Tomorrow is another day, with another "just for today" to go with it.
I hope that "just for today" you will stick with me.
It also coincides nicely with the beginning of spring this weekend. An excellent season for new starts. Some of the bulbs have had a few extra weeks in the dark before they pushed through this year, and I can identify with that. But like the daffodils, I will get there eventually.
I've obviously had a torrid couple of months - for those that are new to my mutterings, my husband of 20 years left me a few weeks ago. The remaining debt, and the mortgage, is all in my name now, but in return, I have kept the house, and have the ability to provide our children with the stability that they need.
People generally think I'm doing brilliantly in the circumstances. My response to that is generally "what choice do I have?" I can't change the past. I can't make my husband want to be with me. What I CAN do, is to make a success of my career, to keep the finances in order, and to keep the house, providing a home and a safe place to be for the children. Some days I have genuine positivity, some days it is a front. I never know what each day will be - a genuine one or an act. What I do know, though, is that I have to keep going. If I don't make a success of my job, I don't get paid. If I don't get paid, I am in trouble.
As I have mentioned on my last diary, OH and I do communicate. I don't hate him. I may hate the situation that he has put me in at times, but I don't wish him any malice. We are parents to our children, and we agree that they are the most important thing to both of us. That is a very important thing to be able to maintain, and I truly hope it continues, for their sakes.
But I can't get away from the fact that things didn't work. That is sad, and I have to learn from that, but not wallow in it. I have to move forward......which is not the same, I don't think, as moving on. I need to identify who I am, where I am heading, and what I am doing on a day to day basis that needs working on, and what works just fine thank you very much.
That involves a lot of soul searching, a lot of effort, a lot of practical thinking, re budgets, realities of life, etc. It can be incredibly emotional, even when things are going well, and it can be exhausting. But then, the burst of energy occasionally comes, and I need to be ready to run with that, and make the most of it in case it doesn't make another appearance for a few days.
So, before I ramble much more about the crapness of life......the theme for this new diary is "Just for Today....." In Reiki, we follow 5 principles. From time to time I need to remind myself of these, and I think now is a perfect time to do so as they will see me through these "odd" times.....
1. Just for today, I will not be angry.
2. Just for today, I will not worry.
3. Just for today, I will be grateful.
4. Just for today, I will do my work honestly.
5. Just for today, I will be kind to every living thing.
It works very well with the principle of taking one day at a time, which is what I am trying to do right now, but it also works well with other things, that threaten to sabotage my progress.....so I can also have:
Just for today, I will eat healthily.......or
Just for today, I will stuff myself silly with chocolate. It doesn't mean I have failed on my diet, it just means that today I am eating chocolate.
Just for today, I will make an effort with the way I present myself........or
Just for today, I will slob around in my pjs until it is time to go back to bed again.
Just for today, I will keep a lid on my spending.......or
Just for today, I will spend more than I intended. It doesn't mean I am on the slippery road of debt, it just means that today I spent too much.
Tomorrow is another day, with another "just for today" to go with it.
I hope that "just for today" you will stick with me.
Successful women can still have their feet on the ground. They just wear better shoes. (Maud Van de Venne)
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone (Neale Donald Walsch)
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Comments
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Ooh - my second new diary of the day!!! Good call to start a new one Hypno - something almost symbolic about that. Excellent principle too - "baby steps" all over again really. xxx🎉 MORTGAGE FREE (First time!) 30/09/2016 🎉 And now we go again…New mortgage taken 01/09/23 🏡
Balance as at 01/09/23 = £115,000.00 Balance as at 31/12/23 = £112,000.00
Balance as at 31/08/24 = £105,400.00 Balance as at 31/12/24 = £102,500.00
£100k barrier broken 1/4/25SOA CALCULATOR (for DFW newbies): SOA Calculatorshe/her0 -
Well and truly bookmarked!
xo‘Keep your eye on the donut and not on the hole.’ David Lynch.
"It’s a beautiful day with golden sunshine and blue skies all the way.” David Lynch.0 -
Just for today I will stick with you.
Your post made me cry.
Anyway happy shiney new diary
I wish you well in your journey of rediscovery.I am a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Mortgage Free Wannabe & Local Money Saving Scotland & Disability Money Matters. If you need any help on those boards, do let me know.Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any post you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button , or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own & not the official line of Money Saving Expert.
Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/14.**Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** MFW. Finally mortgage free O2/ 2021****
"A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb. ***Keep plodding*** Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
One debt remaining. Home improvement loan.0 -
Just for today I will stick with you.
Your post made me cry.
Thanks beanie - but you mustn't cry! Oh, ok then, just for today you can be a soppy mare :rotfl:Successful women can still have their feet on the ground. They just wear better shoes. (Maud Van de Venne)Life begins at the end of your comfort zone (Neale Donald Walsch)0 -
Happy new diary.
What great principles of just for today.0 -
Rock on, Hypno, the future is yours for the taking, not "just for today" but for every day! Happy new diary.One life - your life - live it!0
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Happy New Diary!
*subscribes*0 -
Onwards and upwards Hun :T:grouphug:
Much love Wol (CEO - SPARS)
Society for the Protection of Austin Reed Suits
and of course Piggies (SCARSH)
Society for the Covering of Austin Reed Suits with Hairs :rotfl::rotfl:
xxxFlooded 20/07/07
.
Normal service FINALLY RESUMED 31/07/10 :j:j" It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes." Douglas Adams...."or the FOS" Wol2
Numptie groupie #2 :cool:
Mortgage offset drawdown [STRIKE]£60861[/STRIKE].... [STRIKE]£60074[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]£59967[/STRIKE] £65k 'ish 1/6/14
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My inspiration........"just for today", thank you.
Good luck with your journey, let the butterflies flood in, each one will make you stronger xRemember how far you've come, not just how far you have to go.
You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be. {Rick Warren}0 -
cherrylips30 wrote: »let the butterflies flood in, each one will make you stronger x
indeed they will.....indeed they will :ASuccessful women can still have their feet on the ground. They just wear better shoes. (Maud Van de Venne)Life begins at the end of your comfort zone (Neale Donald Walsch)0
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