Cohabiting and dividing things up

slipperhero

Hi everyone

I originally posted my query on the Relationships board, and though I got some excellent advice, it was also suggested I post here. As it happens there is some new info, and I am also a bit more realistic about my situation. It's as follows:

My girlfriend of 9 years and I split up about 9 months ago. We had bought a house together (joint tenancy) 4 years ago, and saved like anything to pay a big deposit, and also pay off lump sums to reduce the term. We agreed that she would buy me out but had big disagreements about the figure. We paid £108,000 (minus £13k deposit) for the house, and the latest balance was about £81,500. We've spent about £6-7k+ on renovating. Two estate agents have come round, and though they didn't strictly offer a valuation, they suggested initial asking prices of £95,000 and £99,950. She has offered me £6k, which initially insulted me, but then I came to realise that it's the current value of the house rather than what has been spent on it that counts. Division of contents is also proving difficult, as she seems only willing to give me options on the things she doesn't want (I want the telly!!!).

BUT...for most of our relationship, she has earned more money than me. She contributed more (generally), though she tended to spend more on herself, too. That said, we had always agreed that all money was 'our' money. To further complicate things, I was on a course last year, which I messed up at the last minute due to the break-up. She said I could stay while I finished off, as I wasn't eligible for further funding, so while I have given her cash when I could (only amounting to a few hundred pounds), and buying essentials on my credit card, I haven't directly contributed to the mortgage. I accumulated student debt in order to increase my contribution (I received a bursary as well), though I realise that as there are no 'common-law' rights, the debt is solely my own.

So, taking all that into account, does £6k sound like a fair offer? And what about possessions? I'm willing to leave almost everything we bought 'together', but would like a few choice items (telly!!!). If she is unwilling to negotiate, am I within my rights to have half of all joint items? Though we agreed that everything was 50/50, do I have a moral responsibility now that we have split up to acknowledge her greater earning power in the division of our assets?

All contributions gratefully received. And thank you in advance.

HappyMJ

My advice...take the £6k and move on. You have paid some deposit and lost all of it due to depreciation of the house. She still has the mortgage. If you were married and getting a divorce you'd end up with nothing the solicitors would get everything so ~£6k is a reasonable offer. Forget the telly.... Get another one.

Fire_Fox

If the TV is a plasma they eat electricity which will cost you in outgoings. If it's an LCD they have been superseded by LEDs - seriously pick your battles over irreplaceable items, the TV could break down next week. I can recommend a Samsung LED-TV with in-built wireless function.

slipperhero

Thanks MJ. Your advice is sound, ESPECIALLY the moving on bit!

FF - Your suggestion of moving on wrt to telly is great too. Please recommend. The current is a Samsung (LCD), and I'm pretty happy with them as a brand.

Fire_Fox

slipperhero wrote: »

Thanks MJ. Your advice is sound, ESPECIALLY the moving on bit!

FF - Your suggestion of moving on wrt to telly is great too. Please recommend. The current is a Samsung (LCD), and I'm pretty happy with them as a brand.

I have this and love both the look and the picture quality; my brother has a Samsung LCD like you and is jealous of mine. My TV was a leaving present from my cheating ex so I made sure I chose the top of the range! :rotfl:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Samsung-UE32B6000-32-inch-Widescreen-Freeview/dp/B002DL20Y8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=electronics&qid=1268765846&sr=8-1

The newer model has media 2.0 which appears to mean it has built-in wireless capability, not even that much more expensive! :money:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Samsung-UE32B7020W-32-inch-Widescreen-Freeview/dp/B001W3QUTE/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&s=electronics&qid=1268765846&sr=8-9

There is also a sexy wall mount, which apparently shows above the 32 inch but not on the larger sizes
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Samsung-WMN1000B-Ultra-Slim-Mount/dp/B00264MC4U/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=electronics&qid=1268766068&sr=8-1

Alternatively you could buy the older model and upgrade with a wireless dongle
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Samsung-WIS09ABGNX-XAA-WiFi-Stick/dp/B002669XKY/ref=pd_bxgy_ce_text_b

Sammy85_2

Get an LED telly. We got the samsung telly thats mounted almost flush on the wall. It hangs on an arrangement like a picture hook, so no need for any bulky mountings. Its fab! Energy efficient and you can watch from any angle and picture is perfect.

As for your dividing assets/paying out. Take the £6k. If you havent been contributing for the last few months and she has always contributed more, then i'd be happy with the £6k.

Mr.Brown_4

If you get a CRT you can put an ornament on it.

Sammy85_2

Mr.Brown wrote: »

If you get a CRT you can put an ornament on it.

this is true..... :rotfl:

slipperhero

Fire_Fox wrote: »

I have this and love both the look and the picture quality; my brother has a The newer model has media 2.0 which appears to mean it has built-in wireless capability, not even that much more expensive! :money:

This is very sexy. I'm looking at the 6k now as a great opportunity! Sure she gets the house, but she's stuck with that old telly!:j

You folks have done wonders for me already. You're all so practical! (Never mind the humorous take on things). I was getting far too serious.

Mr Brown - a good suggestion, but she's getting all the ornaments:T

Richard_Webster

Take the £6K.

The interesting theoretical question of what you are entitled to is all very well, but if the conclusion was that you were entitled to more, then the difference would probably be swallowed up in the costs of the argument.

slipperhero

Thanks Richard. I think I'm finally coming round to the MSE way of thinking. Plus there is a value (which is difficult to measure) in being able to walk away without going through the bitter arguments which so often accompany these negotiations. Anyway, another estate agent has just come round and said £85k, so I'd better grab the offer whilst it's still on the table!

The 'stuff' is still another matter, but I've taken on board Fire Fox's comment about choosing the battles over irreplaceable items. Almost everything can be replaced (eventually; and with better than what went before) but there are a few things I really want - only a couple of small paintings with no monetary value - and the ex probably will, too. This discussion will probably be as heated as the one about the house!

Thanks again, everyone