We have a social worker coming round today..

BitterAndTwisted

Disregarding for the moment why this contact has been initiated now please try to remember that whatever the reason and whatever the outcome none of this is the child's fault.

Lord knows, every 13 year-old boy could do with a mentor or some good role-models in life. I suspect the child is curious to know where he came from and why he hasn't had any contact with his biological father and his family for so very long.

Have SS made contact with your son, OP?

mpet

Whatever the reason for this contact, you really do need to know if the child is your grandson. I'm sure the Social Worker will understand the need to confirm this.

Without this information, it will be impossible to build any kind of relationship with the child (assuming that this is what the visit is about) as you will always be wondering if he is your grandchild

jellyhead

Has your son been paying maintenance for his child? I assumed that the CSA dealt with DNA testing etc.

As for why the contact has been made, it may be that the boy has become curious. My 13 year old doesn't remember his father or grandparents but once he got to 12 he asked about them - not to the point of wanting to visit them (yet, but I hope it will happen one day when he's older) but he noticed after I filled in a passport application for a school trip (they needed a joint passport, regardless of whether the kids had their own passport or not) that he has no father, and we started talking about it then.

He has always known that my husband isn't his biological father, and every year he gets a christmas card with a cheque from his grandparents, so he's always been aware that they exist, but at age 12-13 he suddenly developed some curiosity and wanted to know names, and details of cousins etc.

There may be the hope that through contact with you it will be easier as an adult to make contact with his father.

Has the social worker also asked about contacting your son?

crutches

Just wanted to say I hope it goes well.Lots of emotions involved here ,just be aware that 12 yr olds do not think like adults and you cannot expect them too.I hope nothing bad has gone wrong in the boys life that SS are searching for connections for him.

jackomdj

I hope it went well today. You have not had contact so far but you could make a big difference in this young mans life. Good luck x

oysterman

Just like to thank everyone for there replies today.

It went better than we expected. The interest was started by the the child(curious) & basically it was a fact finding mission from ss. We have insisted on a dna test before contact for our sakes, but mostly for the child, it might seem harsh, but we have to know first.
Anyway cheers for all your help, much appreciated:T

Mojisola

oysterman wrote: »

Just like to thank everyone for there replies today.

It went better than we expected. The interest was started by the the child(curious) & basically it was a fact finding mission from ss. We have insisted on a dna test before contact for our sakes, but mostly for the child, it might seem harsh, but we have to know first.
Anyway cheers for all your help, much appreciated:T

So glad it went well. I don't think it's harsh to ask for a test. Imagine if you all got attached to the lad and then found out he wasn't your grandchild! Imagine how he would feel having to start the search for his father all over again!

Although it may not have been mentioned today, is there a possibility that your son will now be expected to pay 13 years of child support?

sleepless_saver

Mojisola wrote: »

Although it may not have been mentioned today, is there a possibility that your son will now be expected to pay 13 years of child support?

No, it can't be backdated in that way.