Help! What should be our wedding budget (small) and general wedding plans?

minimoneysaver

If I were in your position with that much debt I would be thinking about a Vegas wedding... they are amazing! You get great value for money and the honeymoon. If anyone really wants to watch you get married... they can pay for their own holiday to come along. You can get the weddings filmed, so people can catch up with you on your return. Don't forget to finish the day off with a helicopter ride in valley... amazing!
p.s. ebay are fab for dresses etc.

Lotus-eater

msb5262 wrote: »

PLEASE don't be offended...but I must admit I was a bit gobsmacked to see that despite having 45K of debt between you, you are seriously considering spending large amounts of money on a wedding.
Just wondering - would you consider getting married really quietly (ie. register office/church with just the two of you and witnesses, then lunch for 4 at your local) and having a "proper" wedding at some future date?
In your position I'd find it very hard to think about expensive holidays, let alone a wedding of the sort you mention!
MsB

That's what I thought too, I really don't understand it.

Does not compute!

lovepigeon

The debt is an issue, its all student loan company and I'm saddled with it for life (as from MSE best not to pay it off due to it being much lower interest then any other form of debt) - when I use the repayment calculator it says I won't pay it off in total so remaining amount will be written off when I'm 65. I even tried to calculate it myself and am definitely best off saving instead of paying it back so that don't ever have to get any other loans (except maybe mortgage later on in life).
To those that suggested register office if you read my original post that's actually something we have been considering very seriously, its just I keep being made to feel guilty by friends and family when we suggest that and so I wanted some outsider opinions from this website.
If we were to have a register office just with 2 friends (cost about £100) and then honeymoon or wed abroad the 2 of us that would it be that unreasonable to spend about 1 to 2k (ie £500 -1k each)? Haven't had a holiday in years and you only get married once.
Also the debt is simply due to how much uni costs, we were at uni in london and I had to pay top-up fees but I worked 2 part-time jobs throughout and we lived frugally.
But its reassuring to hear that others of you would spend very little if you had our debt because that is how I feel and lots of people don't seem to understand that (especially people who have rich parents that would pay for it all for them). Also I will check out the Vegas wedding idea although $ getting more + more expensive for us due to £ going down. Some of my savings are in euros ~ 1500 so could use that if we went to somewhere in Europe.
Thank you for all your replies

JodyBPM

I must admit, I'd prioritise having family and friends there over a honeymoon. Personally I'd have a registry office wedding, and then just hire a village hall (around £25!). I'd do picnic baskets of food (baguette, cherry tomatoes, cheese, ham, crisps etc) for each table, make the cake and do the decorations etc myself. Bottle of wine or two on each table. Off the peg dress for say £100 (or check ebay), and you could have a real day to remember, and to share with family and friends for less than £1K. I'd then just book a weekend away locally to relax, and save the big holiday until you can comfortably afford it!
With a bit of effort, it could be really lovely, and once you start doing it yourself, you'll be overwhelmed by the generosity of people pitching in!

silkstrut

Hi Lovepigeon,
Can't say what you want but can tell you what we did.
We had a civil ceromony at a country house, with a wedding breakfast.
Thats where we desided to spend the money.
On the savings side...........................
A friend made the cake, another played guitar before the ceromony,
My dress was from John Lewis (not a wedding dress) 'A' hired his suit,
(had shirt made, as wedding present from me) 'A' played in a band, played in the evening.
We invited who we wanted, (yes we left out some people inc family)
We didn't have a top table, we didn't do speaches or a 1st dance.
It was our day, how we wanted and it was WONDERFUL.
We went to Brughe (sp ?) booked flights & hotel online the day before the wedding. Bargin and Fab.


You just have to think WHAT YOU WANT, it may seem tough on others.
BUT IT's YOUR DAY.

SugarSpun

We ended up with a more elaborate wedding than originally planned because we went to Speke Hall to look around and I fell in love with it (doubling our budget *oops*).

But what I'd have gone for in your situation would be a registry office wedding with two witnesses and a party in the evening. Hire a village hall (normally very cheap), fill an iPod with music and borrow some speakers, get some platters of meat, cheese, salad and bread and some wine (you can get some great deals if you can take a day trip to Calais), and invite your family.

Having said that, we had our evening dinner at a really nice restaurant (has a Bib Gourmand) - 26 people, three courses plus coffee and great wine and soft drinks and the total cost was £790. The buffet/music/buying the drinks in/hire a hall option for a larger group would have been a little bit more, so it depends on how many people you want to invite.

msb5262

I think it's quite sad that there's such a huge "wedding industry" these days and most people seem to feel the ONLY way to get married is to have a massively expensive party for dozens of people.
We seem to have lost sight of the meaning of the whole thing...is it only me who thinks it odd that weddings should be held in settings and in a style which bears no relation to the couple's real life together?
I don't mean that if a couple both work stacking shelves, they should be getting married in a supermarket - more that we should consider weddings at home or near home, with friends and the sort of food we really enjoy, to be the norm.
I always think the twee starters/roast dinner/fake-looking pudding type menu is very peculiar when you remember that most couples would probably sit down to something totally different in almost any other situation!
MsB

Silaqui

I think all of your options sound really expensive! (disclaimer - I'm not engaged or planning a wedding, but I am in a long term relationship, thinking about it possibly when debt free).

I have always felt that people spend shocking amounts on weddings - I think your 3-4k is massive, let along the tens of thousands that some spend!

I like the ideas that Jody and Sugarspun have mentioned. Have a quiet registry marriage with just the important people there, followed by a party for everyone done cheaply. I wouldn't budget anywhere near 3-4k on it though!
If a honeymoon is really important to you, you can still spend a grand or so on that, it counts as a holiday that you might have taken anyway I guess.
x

itsallinthemind

lovepigeon wrote: »

1. We go get married on holiday just the 2 of us in europe (eg italy, greece), estimated cost 1.5 - 2k
2. We get married in a register office just with witnesses (2 friends) and then go honeymoon in europe, again about 1.5 - 2k
3. We do an informal wedding in uk with friends and family and honeymoon in europe, est cost 3-4k for wedding, 1k honeymoon so total 5k

I think your amounts are high, but in fairness I've seen and heard of much more and I used to be involved in wedding planning so can assure you it is nothing :rotfl:

The problem I'm having with your post, is not the spending of money but the lack of understanding of what the wedding itself means to you. I think you need to look at what you want for the event and consider close relatives and true friends(not just mates)feelings as although it is your day, you would not want to mortify great aunt Ethel if it can be avoided!

The above to me reads, holiday, holiday, holiday? I do not mean to be offensive, so please do not read it that way

I think that once you work out what you want, then and only then, should you attempt to think about budgets.

I never plan to get married myself, but if I did then I would only want parents, siblings, children attending and a non denomination civil setting. I'd want to wear something nice and smart and for my children to be and I'd do something like, I dunno, go to greenwhich have a picnic? So £100 max on food.

Cost would be: Civil fees £200, Rings £150, Clothes for couple £200, Clothes for children £100, Lotus seeds £2, Food for max dozen £100=Max crazy figure of £752 if organised over night, so easily £500 Max if planned carefully. £400 if you ask people to bring food instead of gifts

Okay, so I have no plans to ever do it, but if I were to I know what would be important to me, close people only, enjoying sunshine, out in the open air for most of the day, relaxing, having fun etc with my closet people joining in the celebration of our commitment. In fact, scratch the £150 rings, 2 x plain silver bands is fine, so knock £100 off, £300 would cover it :rotfl:

A friend of mine had the typical christian wedding, harps, country house, the works, long lost relatives and someone she met on a bus where there it seemed, £33k, it lasted 3 months before they separated. All credit in her name and she will be paying it for years and years

SmlSave

Hi hun

Do whatever feels right for you.

I spent 6k and got what I wanted, upset a few family members! No beach holiday - spent the time with family.

My friends are getting married in June at a registry office and spending their money on a holiday - more family upset.

and I'm bridesmaid to another friend in September - £10k for a medium wedding, family happy so far and beach honeymoon.

I think the above just shows how different weddings can be in cost!

I really think that the most important thing to do is decided what 'bits' matter to you and OH. Is it the honeymoon? A decent photograher? Once you know that you can start making a budget to fit.

Hope this helps