Help! What should be our wedding budget (small) and general wedding plans?

lovepigeon

My OH and I have been engaged for over a year now and should really get on and start actually planning a wedding but I'm really unsure as to what our budget should be. Here are some details:

We will have to pay for the wedding ourselves.
I have just under 30k of student debt, OH has around 15k of student debt (all of this to SLC)
OH is 1 yr into a PhD - stipend ~ 13k, I am currently doing a MSc with 15k stipend, I will be finishing it in Sep and am applying for jobs atm
I have about 10k in savings so far and should be able to save about another3k by September.
OH needs to pay off an overdraft of about 2k and has no savings.
We are both 23 (have been together nearly 5 years) and working in medical research and would hope to have children when in late 20s.

I would be really interested in what other people would think would be an appropriate budget for us considering our circumstances or alternatively which out of the 3 following ideas you think would be best:

1. We go get married on holiday just the 2 of us in europe (eg italy, greece), estimated cost 1.5 - 2k
2. We get married in a register office just with witnesses (2 friends) and then go honeymoon in europe, again about 1.5 - 2k
3. We do an informal wedding in uk with friends and family and honeymoon in europe, est cost 3-4k for wedding, 1k honeymoon so total 5k

My fiance just says we should do whatever I want because I'm the girl but I don't know what I want! I worry about money a lot (due to massive student debt and fact my parents were both made redundant last yr) and so find it really hard to justify spending so much money on 1 day. I thought people on this forum would be a great source of sensible advise. On the one hand I worry that if we do the most expensive option we might really need that money later on (for house deposit, holidays, furniture, children etc etc) and won't necessarily have a better day then if we'd gone for one of the cheaper options. On the other hand I worry if we go for options 1 or 2 I might regret not having friends and family around and always regret not having a 'proper' wedding.

Any wisdom from married people or anyone welcomed!!

JBD

If you are the type of person who worries about debt then you are probably better off having a smaller budget. It's nice that your fiance is happy to let you choose what you want.
I had a registry office wedding with a small budget reception [more of a party really] and I never wished I'd had a bigger wedding [we're not together now but thats a different story. I know a lot of people wouldn't be happy with that sort of day though and no one else can decide for you!

peachespeaches

Go to Las Vegas and do it. Thats what we did and it was fab and didnt cost a lot. Dont get a package, find a reasonable flights, look for offers in the big casino hotels (we stayed in Excalibur and had a couple of days in Loughlin at River Palms). The wedding is easy enough to organise, there are loads of chapels. We used the Little White Chapel, just had the basic package and sorted everything ourselves. Great great fun and memories that really last a lifetime.

BubblyMumbles

Yeah, you need to decide what you want for yourself.

I had a registry office wedding, a dinner in a hotel function room that we hired for the night and a honeymoon in New York, all for about 5K/6K

It just depends what you want.

Good luck with it all!

Person_one

If you do 1 or 2, will there be any family members who would be upset that they weren't able to see you get married?

creased-leach

Keep it as cheap as you can- there's no sense getting into more & more debt just for one day. Only the two of you, and your committment matters.

The couples I know with the happiest, longest marriages are the ones who had the focus on the marriage, not the wedding.

Whatever you decide, good luck for the future.

JBD

OP, have you read the wedding and anniversary boards? the ladies there have lots of different ideas. Also check out 4 weddings on TV. Some of those wedding have small budgets.

cedrickerry

It's really up to you .....if you've dreamt of the perfect fairytale wedding since a child, then you'll probbaly regret doing it on a small budget, but it doesn't seem like that its the case.

Can't really give advice on something so personal,, but can tell you how we managed to do ours for less than £1500! registry office with closest friends, hired suit for DH and Bestman, and an off the peg dress for me. Paid for a lunchtime buffet with Tesco Clubcard vouchers (again closest family and friends x16) and then hired a pubs skittle alley in the evening, for old fashioned P*** up. Decked it out nice, had private bar and disco, with buffet at £3.50 a head!. Work colleagues clubbed together and bought me the cake, brother and sister paid for the car (which I wouldn't have bothered with as registry office was only 5 min walk from lunch venue). and booked a honeymoon a little after the wedding, using cash we were given for presents and an extra £400 we had saved.

lovepigeon

Oh I only just noticed the wedding forum - I'll post in there next time, couldn't spot it earlier! I think we would either do it properly with friends and family or pretty much just the two of us, in which case some family probably would be a bit disappointed. I find it makes it harder that my fiance has no opinions because I feel all the pressure is on me to decide everything, his reasoning is that I'm the fussy one (I don't think I'm particularly fussy) and when I ask him his opinion he just says he wants what ever makes me happy. Anyhow thank you for all your responses, I was interested in what people thought of eloping vs home wedding but also if you were in our financial situation what amount you would budget? I've managed to save quite a bit but in my mind that's more there to offset my huge student debt if that makes sense? But then sometimes i think you're only young once I really am a terribly indecisive person, I'm always trying to find the correct or perfect solution when for lots of decisions I suppose there is no such thing.

msb5262

PLEASE don't be offended...but I must admit I was a bit gobsmacked to see that despite having 45K of debt between you, you are seriously considering spending large amounts of money on a wedding.
Just wondering - would you consider getting married really quietly (ie. register office/church with just the two of you and witnesses, then lunch for 4 at your local) and having a "proper" wedding at some future date?
In your position I'd find it very hard to think about expensive holidays, let alone a wedding of the sort you mention!
MsB

BargainGalore

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