Dealing with teens that dont want to go to school

tandraig

ok tiff - my own experience was colouring my judgement i think! sorry - i didnt mean to offend.
its really hard to deal with a problem when you arent told what it is! no1 son was like that! i sometimes had to ask his sis to talk to him - is there anyone you think he may confide in you could ask to find out the prob for you? an uncle or aunt or grandparent?

pingua

out one way or the other.

diable

My eldest was bullied but we nipped that in the bud plus he had a disruptive "friend" once they where separated then there was no problem.

Pee

Any chance you could plan a family holiday to Spain/ a Spanish speaking country or do some language tapes with him to help improve his Spanish?

tiff

We already have 5 nights in NY booked for October (family vote) but its a thought for next year.

jellyhead

It may not necessarily be bullying, just the change to a big school with lots of people he doesn't know, everyone separating into jocks, emos etc. (my 13 year old makes it sound like the breakfast club film lol!). My boy is young for his age and was in no hurry to turn into a teen. I was the same.

When he talks about how his day went he sometimes mentions that it was better than usual because certain people were skiving so his table was quieter. I don't want him to bunk off, and he assures me he hasn't done, but it's difficult to give him the 'we all have to do things we don't want to' talk when actually, not everyone has to and he can't see that the skivers get punished in any way either.

My son had problems at the end of year 8, and I was told by lots of pastoral care people, CAMHS etc. that children like him often settle down in year 9 when they know more about who they want to be, and have found others like them to be friends with.

Staff did agree though that he can ask to change seats if he is put next to anyone who particularly upsets him. That's helped a lot, but there are still clashes with teachers - yes, it's the RE teacher lol! He enjoyed humanities in primary school, but he says the focus then was on learning interesting things. Now in high school it's all about analysis, comparing, writing essays etc. and he can't get his head around that sort of thing so he is falling behind in geography and RE (but not in history, because that's easier - he likes the teacher so I think that's what makes the difference).

He always looked forward to taking year 9 options and dropping RE and geography, but now we've been told that they are not allowed to drop RE. They have a new teacher though, so he is just hoping that he gets the new one next year rather than the old one.

I'm thinking of asking school if they can juggle things so he is with the new teacher, to be honest. Yes it's mollycoddling him, but if it means he goes to school instead of skiving then that's what matters to me. His only friend has just been excused for RE, which he's quite jealous about. It's an idea if a child really hates RE, but I'm not willing to do that just yet. His friend's dad wrote to the school saying that he doesn't want his son to be taught RE - all parents have the right to do that, apparently.

adamsmum

My son Adam is in year 9 of big school and has just hated school from primary......not being bullied...plenty of friends but very shy where it comes to adults and wont speak up when he has a problem....so I end up finding out whats wrong and phone which ever teacher involved. He has just always hated school and I think he always will I think the shyness a lot to do with it....hope everything turns out ok. Just wanted to say its not always bullying