You can choose friends, but not family

McKneff

Wow, good for you claretmatt, you've got there despite (or inspite) of all the odds stacked against you.

Enjoy your little family, dont allow any one in to hurt you or yours, if the rest of them want to self destruct then let them.
Your post brought a smile to my face, i think you are one lucky (nd sensible) guy to have all that and you did it all by yourself.

Good luck for the future.


Annie

JennyR68

Clarematt your post struck a chord with me in your very first sentence, I too lost my best friend, my beautiful little sister to suicide after years battling with bipolar 5 years ago. Feel your pain.

So glad to hear your building your own happy little family. If you are at all still worried about the lack of functional Grandparents scenerio can I please share with you my children's viewpoint on their own situation.

Both my parents suffered from rare genetic illness that rendered them pretty much useless in the Grandparent (parent) department for many years before they died both aged 60 2 & 4 years ago. My husbands father skeddadled when my eldest was 1 20 years ago. Leaving them with one functioning granny who had a child of her own only one year older than my daughter, so not a totally absorbed granny!

I imagine a great gaping loss in their lives as I had a wonderful relationship with 3 Grandparents only losing the last last November when I was 40. But talking about it to my kids they feel no void at all. They cannot concieve missing what they have never had so they feel no pain from it. Wish I could say the same!

I'm celebrating 23 years of marriage to my schoolgirl crush this year, so yes I know;)

Your approach to life sounds about right to keep your sanity, if people continually draw on your emotional bank without making any deposits they just drag you down. You can put up with quite a bit of rubbish if there are highs to match the lows and they can give something back to you (learnt that lesson well with my sister).