Had enough...

baxgttdi

joegw wrote: »

All my plans for the future are up the air, my girlfriend of 3+ years has split with me, we have agreed to now go on a break for a month but whos to say it will be any different then - unless I make some big changes.
Hence the need to change my life so dramatically!
I work in a print room and it is very dull but yes it means i get paid at the end of the month.
I also have a social phobia (part of the reason for the split/break) and go to group therapy weekly.
I want a new job to escape the boredom and improve my social skills. I'm not stupid, just always restricted myself.
Does anyone else have this issue? How did you get past it?
Any one want to help?

Thanks in advance.

Hey Joe, your story actually caught me offguard with how similar it is/was to mine. I was 25 when I had exactly the same moment as you've just had, my gf of 3 years decided to "go on a break" with me and I also have a bit of the social phobia thing which came into play. Not on exactly the level you describe but close enough. The only difference really was I love my job .

At that point I started to question everything else in my life to, social stuff, jobs, debt, everything pretty much like it sounds you have. I considered everything from, going on a holdiay by myself, to never leaving the house etc and also decided to go on a "set my right" run. It can work but doing it in a month is too much you'll just burn out. It kinda comes accross although you're trying to sort everything all at once which is never the way it works and that your mainly doing it to try and prove yourself to her.

The upside is you do eventually come out the other side of it. My now ex and I still get on but are not together anymore and things are starting to turn right again so I've no doubt stuff will work out ok for you as well one way or the otherbut you have to do it for you and it does take time. Hope that helps a little.

joegw

baxgttdi wrote: »

Hey Joe, your story actually caught me offguard with how similar it is/was to mine. I was 25 when I had exactly the same moment as you've just had, my gf of 3 years decided to "go on a break" with me and I also have a bit of the social phobia thing which came into play. Not on exactly the level you describe but close enough. The only difference really was I love my job .

At that point I started to question everything else in my life to, social stuff, jobs, debt, everything pretty much like it sounds you have. I considered everything from, going on a holdiay by myself, to never leaving the house etc and also decided to go on a "set my right" run. It can work but doing it in a month is too much you'll just burn out. It kinda comes accross although you're trying to sort everything all at once which is never the way it works and that your mainly doing it to try and prove yourself to her.

The upside is you do eventually come out the other side of it. My now ex and I still get on but are not together anymore and things are starting to turn right again so I've no doubt stuff will work out ok for you as well one way or the otherbut you have to do it for you and it does take time. Hope that helps a little.

Thanks for an such an honest reply.
My I ask what your job is? (If you don't want to say on the board, you can PM me)
Yes, I would agree I am doing most of those things but in doing so I feel I'm dealing with my own problems. And the burning out aspect is a bonus because it means I sleep at night. I am trying to prove myself to her because she is the one with the problem for the split - I struggle to see sense in it. There is no animosity between us, it's just the way she feels.
I'm not going to be one the change the way she feels but I need to prove to myself that I'm not what she is saying about me.

I have a scattered past with self harm, drinking and drugs but thats in the past. I think everyone thinks I'm losing my mind but I don't see the point in not fighting for something worth holding on to.

Anyway I guess thats what makes us all different in the end.

shuaibf

Dabooka wrote: »

Hopefully not as a copywriter!! (JOKE!) :rotfl:

lool

nah but the machine we have can print bank notes even the invisible black line or hologram

ofc i wouldnt do it

painted

Sorry, no help but good luck!

andys15

What is your ebay id. I will look at what you are selling. you might get a few more bidders off here. ta

joegw

andys15 wrote: »

What is your ebay id. I will look at what you are selling. you might get a few more bidders off here. ta

I wasn't sure if I was allowed to post it on here.
ebay ID: omweller

dianah

hey

i just want to say, i'm bipolar and have struggled in the past with not being able to leave the house or talk to people - silly things like not even asking shop staff for help.

i can see why you're on the mission to deal with your debt this quickly - but, please be careful. Consider how you'll feel if you don't manage to succeed - £3,900 is a lot of money to generate in such a short time. all i'm saying is - have a plan in place should this happen. you will still have proven to yourself you're not what she's saying you are, simply by trying to sort this out.
i just know the way i react - if i set myself up for something very ambitious and don't succeed, i call myself all sorts and i feel like a complete utter failure despite the fact that other people would be happy with what i'd achieved, even if it's not a complete success.

as someone said already - black and white thinking is not beneficial, the world will not end if you don't manage to get the whole sum sorted.

good luck!

joegw

dianah wrote: »

hey

i just want to say, i'm bipolar and have struggled in the past with not being able to leave the house or talk to people - silly things like not even asking shop staff for help.

i can see why you're on the mission to deal with your debt this quickly - but, please be careful. Consider how you'll feel if you don't manage to succeed - £3,900 is a lot of money to generate in such a short time. all i'm saying is - have a plan in place should this happen. you will still have proven to yourself you're not what she's saying you are, simply by trying to sort this out.
i just know the way i react - if i set myself up for something very ambitious and don't succeed, i call myself all sorts and i feel like a complete utter failure despite the fact that other people would be happy with what i'd achieved, even if it's not a complete success.

as someone said already - black and white thinking is not beneficial, the world will not end if you don't manage to get the whole sum sorted.

good luck!

I have now cleared the debt thanks. Sell all your stuff, it works!

I just need to beat my social phobia now. I work in a print room and have one colleague its no wonder I'm getting worse.
Any suggestions on the job front would be really useful right now...
I just can't stand going back to being alone again and dealing with my problems.

velocity.girl_2

mate, just checked you ebay id...i seriously think you might be better going to game or somewhere like that with you xbox etc...you would get cash in hand too. good luck.

dianah

oh that's awesome!

regarding the job.. do you know what you'd like to do? you said you're seeing a therapist for your social phobia, could they refer you to someone at the job centre who deals with people with disabilities? I don't actually know whether there's such a service in the UK (I would imagine so though!) as I live on the Isle of Man - I never used this (I was planning to but then got a job by myself) but the job centre people over here were saying that they had a guy who had very droopy eyes, which is not a 'disability' but he couldn't get a job because every time he was interviewed people thought he was on drugs! But they made contact with potential employers, explained that it's just what he looked like and he got a job!

i used to work in a very stressful job (which did me no good whatsoever) and when I was looking for my current job I didn't really know what I wanted to do, I just wanted to do something interesting. I work in a lab now and I absolutely love it, I didn't really have qualifications or training for it apart from chemistry labs at school/college/uni and the research I did on the internet regarding pay at entry level lab jobs indicated rather rubbish pay but I thought, once I'm there... I went for it and I've been there for a year and a half now, and the salary is a lot better than anticipated and it's the best job i've ever had, the boss is great and the people are work with are all very nice.

I guess what i'm trying to say, go for stuff you think you might like, even if you don't know what to expect!