advice needed re: unacceptable teacher behaviour

jellyhead

I've dealt with a similar incident recently, although my boy is 13 and it's high school. The head of year who called me about it said that the teacher denied calling my son a 'little retard' and it was out of character for that teacher. He did say however that if my son was telling the truth, or that teacher had said anything sarcastic or unpleasant to him (if perhaps my son was mistaken about the actual words used) then the teacher now knows that such language would not be tolerated, and would think twice before using that word in the classroom again.

The outcome was that nothing further was said, but my son came home that day saying that this teacher (he only has him for one subject) had let him use a different piece of equipment because he's so far behind, and he had not said anything sarcastic at all.

It worked out for everyone really. My son now knows that I won't tolerate him being spoken to in that way by a teacher but he also didn't get to skip that lesson, which was what he wanted. Instead he is encouraged to try his best in spite of being clumsy, nervous and far behind the rest of the class in that subject. This is best achieved by the teacher not shouting or using unpleasant words.

The teacher has been alerted to how badly sarcasm can affect a pupil, and has changed the way he deals with my son (who to be fair was behaving badly by refusing to try - his behaviour is quite ridiculous when he gets stressed about his 'inadequacies').

I can see how a teacher might be driven to use unpleasant language in a class full of teens if one is behaving badly but calling someone who is struggling with their special needs a retard is not acceptable. I believe my son by the way. At a church club I'd taken my youngest to one of the teens helping in the kitchen said, on finding out that my son was in her class, 'oh he's the one that mr X called a retard, that was well out of order'.

I could have asked the head of year to call in this girl and ask her to corroborate my son's version of events, but I thought I'd see how it went, see if the teacher was nasty to my boy after the discussion with the head of year. The head of year said that if an allegation was made then the teacher would be suspended while it was sorted out, but even though the teacher's version of events is not the one I believe it was fine to leave it at that because the end result was okay for everyone.

Sorry that's such a waffle! All I really meant was that if the teacher did use the word idiot, she probably won't use it again!

snowmaid

I am all for disciplining if unsatisfactory work is handed in. However, if a teacher dared to shout at and call my child an idiot, they would feel the full wrath of my anger!

I don't call my child stupid, idiot etc and I certainly won't allow anyone else to call them that.

If you need to discipline my child for unsatisfactory work, do so with my blessing, however, do it in private and don't name call.

Redman30

snowmaid wrote: »

I am all for disciplining if unsatisfactory work is handed in. However, if a teacher dared to shout at and call my child an idiot, they would feel the full wrath of my anger!

I don't call my child stupid, idiot etc and I certainly won't allow anyone else to call them that.

If you need to discipline my child for unsatisfactory work, do so with my blessing, however, do it in private and don't name call.

My point has repeatedly been that this is a one sided report of an incident. Children are easily hurt over thngs they care about, and they are also quick to grasp on to one particular phrase used. I'm not saying the teacher didn't do what was said, but lets have a bit of balance here and make sure that the full "wrath of you anger" would be deserved.

For example there's a world of difference between:

Screaming "This work is terrible, you're an idiot!"
And saying in a disappointed tone "C'mon, you can do better than this, you're not an idiot..."

Neither is right, but one is a lot more wrong than the other. And a disappointed 10 year old who takes pride in her work could easily translate the second into being called an idiot...

Teaching is a high pressured job, but it is also a highly regulated job. The OP was right to see the head and raise concerns, that way if a pattern develops such incidences can be revisited. The OP did this in a balanced and reasonable manner, which is to be applauded.

Anyway, I'll shut up now

snowmaid

Redman30 wrote: »

My point has repeatedly been that this is a one sided report of an incident. Children are easily hurt over thngs they care about, and they are also quick to grasp on to one particular phrase used. I'm not saying the teacher didn't do what was said, but lets have a bit of balance here and make sure that the full "wrath of you anger" would be deserved.

For example there's a world of difference between:

Screaming "This work is terrible, you're an idiot!"
And saying in a disappointed tone "C'mon, you can do better than this, you're not an idiot..."

Neither is right, but one is a lot more wrong than the other. And a disappointed 10 year old who takes pride in her work could easily translate the second into being called an idiot...

Teaching is a high pressured job, but it is also a highly regulated job. The OP was right to see the head and raise concerns, that way if a pattern develops such incidences can be revisited. The OP did this in a balanced and reasonable manner, which is to be applauded.

Anyway, I'll shut up now

Of course the 'wrath of my anger' referred to if all facts had been established.... I certainly wouldn't make a 'fool' of myself and go in guns blazing without knowing the facts...:cool:

I am also working on the basis that, while my child is certainly no angel, he isn't a liar and at the moment is always honest with me. I have told him that because of his honesty he is very trustworthy, however, the day he is dishonest he breaks that trust.

So if he were to come to me and say that a teacher had said such and such, I would fact find and only then would I take necessary action, either way.

chesky369

Sounds to me like a good result all round :
* your daughter knows that you support and love her and were willing to meet with her teachers to sort it out. She also has now realised that she'd better do good homework.
* the teacher won't call anyone an idiot again in a hurry. (or at least not your child)
* the head teacher has made it possible for both your children to go on the school trip - she knows you won't let things go. But you also were not aggressive (if you had been, the trip money would not have happened)
* you've got both your babies on the school trip for the price of one. Your child thinks your great.

RESULT.

chesky369

Sorry
your child thinks YOU ARE great - tut tut.

Redman30

chesky369 wrote: »

Sorry
your child thinks YOU ARE great - tut tut.

(So tempted to reply with "Idiot!" )

bonty44

Redman30 wrote: »

My point has repeatedly been that this is a one sided report of an incident. Children are easily hurt over thngs they care about, and they are also quick to grasp on to one particular phrase used. I'm not saying the teacher didn't do what was said, but lets have a bit of balance here and make sure that the full "wrath of you anger" would be deserved.

For example there's a world of difference between:

Screaming "This work is terrible, you're an idiot!"
And saying in a disappointed tone "C'mon, you can do better than this, you're not an idiot..."

Neither is right, but one is a lot more wrong than the other. And a disappointed 10 year old who takes pride in her work could easily translate the second into being called an idiot...

Teaching is a high pressured job, but it is also a highly regulated job. The OP was right to see the head and raise concerns, that way if a pattern develops such incidences can be revisited. The OP did this in a balanced and reasonable manner, which is to be applauded.

Anyway, I'll shut up now

Spot on.

I said to a Year 3 child last week (after he had called out six times in my lesson and I had moved him twice) that he was going to work with Year 6 so they could model good behaviour to him. Cue child bursting into tears, parents up the school demanding to know why I was excluding their son, etc., etc.

Why should the rest of my class suffer?

Also when I taught Secondary, 2 model pupils who had never been in any trouble at school at all decided to talk to each other during a GCSE assessment. I stand by my decision to note this down on a referral to the Head, as I was at the front of the room, they were at the back, and I didn't know what they were discussing. The Head came to see me to say that parents were very unhappy that I (!) had got their children into trouble (!) and that because of me (!) they would have a bad comment on their school file!! He even asked me to retract my statement! No way was I jeopardising the value of those GCSE Assessments with the Exam Board and undermining their value in front of the rest of the class.

Not that this relates to OP post, but I just wanted to point out that there are always two sides to every story and that not all teachers are insensitive power trippers; we do discipline children at times because we need to!!!