advice needed re: unacceptable teacher behaviour

ayla261

Hi all, sorry - not a moneysaving post but don't know who else to ask as this forum is always my port of call when I've a prob...if anyone can steer me to right place for advice or can give any it'd be appreciated.
For the second time this year my 10yr old daughter has come home upset from school, after turning in an unsatisfactory piece of homework the class teacher shouted at her so much in class it made her cry (same teacher who made her cry last time over unrelated matter), she was also called an idiot. I am not impressed. what right does this teacher have to behave in such a way? Surely bringing my daughter to that level of upset will only have a negative result on both her confidence & any following work? I am trying to arrange a meeting with the school head but would like to know prior to going in whether this is accepted behaviour for a junior school teacher to be exhibiting? Scene was witnessed in directly by whole class & directly by 3 other pupils on my daughters table, who we have also tried unsuccessfully to contact to get their view of what happened.

chesky369

No child should feel undermined by their teacher. You are right to make an appointment to see the Head Teacher to discuss it. When you meet up, DON'T lose your temper, or shout, but try to discuss it rationally - in the spirit of 'how can we work together to ensure this sort of thing doesn't happen again?' type of deal. Always make sure you check your daughter's homework before she gives it in - then you know if what this teacher is saying is in any way reasonable.

Tread very carefully about the other children on the table - they might say what they think you want to hear - kids aren't the most reliable help in these situations.

Good luck - the best way you can support your daughter is by giving her all the confidence and love possible.

Curious_George_2

she got humiliated to the point of tears and called an idiot by the very person paid to help her??
i would be disgusted and probably so cross i would have to struggle with just making an appointment...id be tempted to pitch up at reception and just ask to see the head urgently first thing in the morning

if somebody at work did this to you, you would have something to say about it... and your DD is only a child,

i would be fuming and would make sure i had made myself heard before the subject was dropped, even to the point of getting the weasley little sod to apologise to DD AND me

S1976

No, the teacher has no rights at all to call your daughter an idiot, and to shout at her over homework is not on either. You are right regarding the negative effect this could have on her - I was shouted at a lot in primary school for such small trivial things, and me being a very shy and anxious child anyhow only added to this and made it worse this led to my long term hate of school all together and very low self confidence.

Good luck with the head, for your daughters sake I hope it can be sorted sooner rather than later.

chesky369

PS Dopn't forget to mention how well she has got on in previous years with other teachers. And harp on about the confidence problem that is emerging.

aliasojo

I was exactly the same age when my teacher shouted at me, called me stupid and threw my jotter across the room, because my answers were all completely wrong. It sailed out of the window and I had to go down to the playground to pick it up with all the kids watching.

I have never forgotten the embarrassment and hurt to this day. I wasn't deliberately not trying, I just couldn't get my head round the sums we were supposed to be learning.

I was always a quiet kid anyway but this reduced what little confidence I had, to a slither. My Mum went to the school about it and the teacher was nicer to me afterwards but the damage had been done and I was scared in her class from then on and just didn't progress.

If this were my daughter, I would have been at the school the following day. Don't let this pass, it's wrong.

Ivrytwr3

why don't you storm into the staff tea room and in front of THEIR colleagues/friends etc, let rip on the teacher. See how they like it!!!

(no, don't really, but it would teach them a lesson!!)

sp1987

Make sure you reassure your daughter that she certainly is not an idiot and that in fact, anyone speaking to a child like that most certainly is the idiot. I had a teacher who told me I was too stupid to achieve anything. I felt ''anything'' was a bit ott, she only taught one subject.

Some people are so power hungry yet will work with people more vulnerable than themselves to assert some sort of control. If your daughter is producing an unsatisfactory standard of work (can't think of a nice way to write it) because she is struggling then saying she is an idiot won't help and if she is underachieving despite being clever then it is going to put her off bothering, I cannot see a way in which the teacher's approach would in any way work. I'd think stuff it and start being a pain.

If it was my child I would be straight up there being very calm, collected and assertive (whilst secretly wanting to kill!). Don't lose it or you'll look like the problem parent. Don't put too much weight on ''Jimmy on the same table saw'' as the children may not have seen exactly what happened and may not like to say.

tandraig

this unacceptable hun, but follow the other posters advice and approach the head very tactfully. I strongly suspect the head will take the line that the teacher would never do that and that your DD has blown it out of all proportion!
then please come back and tell us whether the matter has been dealt with - if not i would give advice on another strategy - but dont want to jump the gun!

ayla261

Thanks so much for all your replies. I was very tempted to stomp in & shout in her face till she cried (which would not have taken long the way I'm currently feeling!) or wait by the school gates in the morning & ask the other kids if they were able to tell me anything about what had occurred today because I'm guessing the teachers will all rally around & claim she never said my DD was an idiot & I wanted to confirm. Instead I'm going to try to remain calm & wait for the school to arrange an appointment where OH, Head, both class teachers & I can be present. I'm goingto try to remember to point out that at the end of the day no amount of shouting should have been used as this will only reduce DDs confidence & enquire as to why, if there is a problem with her school work we have not been contacted to discuss this. BTW: I had checked her homework prior to her taking in, & it was messy & not upto standard, which I did point out & also told her she would probably have to redo. Although she is a bit slower than most of the class it isn't a regular occurrence (as I'm normally around at the time she does homework & check there & then but wasn't this week - typical) so I had no expectation she was going to be shouted at till she cried in front of whole class, had expected her to be told to redo during breaktime! I really appreciate you all taking the time to confirm for me this was unacceptable & will let you know what happens x

vaio

As the teacher knows your daughter then presumably the homework was below the standard she should be producing.

Maybe you should address that issue if you aren’t happy with the way the teacher is addressing it.

I’d be wary of questioning other kids without their parents consent (and preferably presence)


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