Should DLA be means tested?

Indie_Kid

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

It rather depends what age the child is.

There was a recent query on the Benefits Board where somebody with a 2 year old was trying to claim because the child needed constant supervision; she seemed rather put out when several people pointed out that any 2 year old needs constant supervision!

Obviously this would be different for an older child who would normally be more independent.

But it's not always just about supervision. Up until a few weeks ago, my friend still had to feed his son who is now nearly 5.

Aputsiaq

sh1305 wrote: »

I take it you've single handidly brought up a disabled child then? I have a friend who is having to do the same atm and it's not easy.

Bringing up a disabled child is totally different to bringing up a non-disabled child. Which I assume you've never done?

You cannot make any assumptions of me or my family.

This is not about specific cases. It is about whether or not carers allowance should be paid to parents who care for their children anyway.
Do we not say when we are expecting "I will care for this child with every thing I have".? We don't add on a bit on the end and say ("So long as its not disabled") do we?

Your friend is on her own and claims as such, no doubt. But she would have got CA even if she were still with her Husband/bf.

I do not understand this mentality of "Its hard". So what?? Lots of things in life are hard but we don't all winge about it and expect other people to dip into their pockets to pay for it.
How do you think people managed a few years ago? They did manage though. Very well. The family unit was a better one. The community spirit was a better one. The work ethic was a better one. The reward was a better one. The overal moral was a better one. And most of all, the expectation was always a better one.

All this mollycoddling does is destroy societies. Thankfully the powers that be are starting to realise this and realising that doing anything for a few votes isn't they way forward.

We are responsible for our own choices aren't we? So we must deal with them.

Aputsiaq

sh1305 wrote: »

But it's not always just about supervision. Up until a few weeks ago, my friend still had to feed his son who is now nearly 5.

And?
Did she always leave him in another room to eat on his own or something? I would of thougt at that age he would be eating his meals with her anyway. So what does it matter who holds the spoon?

Indie_Kid

Aputsiaq wrote: »

Your friend is on her own and claims as such, no doubt. But she would have got CA even if she were still with her Husband/bf.

The friend is a he.

I do not understand this mentality of "Its hard". So what?? Lots of things in life are hard but we don't all winge about it and expect other people to dip into their pockets to pay for it.
How do you think people managed a few years ago? They did manage though. Very well. The family unit was a better one. The community spirit was a better one. The work ethic was a better one. The reward was a better one. The overal moral was a better one. And most of all, the expectation was always a better one.

All this mollycoddling does is destroy societies. Thankfully the powers that be are starting to realise this and realising that doing anything for a few votes isn't they way forward.

We are responsible for our own choices aren't we? So we must deal with them.

I take it you'd be happy getting up at night to look after a disabled child and then go to work for 8 hours a day?

No idea what your last line means?

Did she always leave him in another room to eat on his own or something? I would of thougt at that age he would be eating his meals with her anyway. So what does it matter who holds the spoon?

Er, no. Most 4 years can feed themselves. Actually, most kids can feed themselves (with their hands) from the age of 1 - the friend's 4 year old has only just learnt how to do this.

Unless you do have a disabled child, I don't think you can really comment on how easy / hard it is to bring one up.

Aputsiaq

sh1305 wrote: »

The friend is a he.



I take it you'd be happy getting up at night to look after a disabled child and then go to work for 8 hours a day?

No idea what your last line means?



Er, no. Most 4 years can feed themselves. Actually, most kids can feed themselves (with their hands) from the age of 1 - the friend's 4 year old has only just learnt how to do this.

Unless you do have a disabled child, I don't think you can really comment on how easy / hard it is to bring one up.

And as I said, don't make assumptions on what I can and can't, have and have not done.

I know most kids can feed themselves. When your friend gives his child some food, does he then walk off and leave him to it or does he sit down and eat with him? Most people sit and eat with their children, so what does it matter if he can't hold a spoon? Why does he get a payment for doing something that he does anyway...and thats sit with him when hes feeding? Crazy stupidity!

When you are a parent you do get up during the night even with healthy kids. Are you saying that all new parents whos babies are awake all night long should get paid?
Or the children who don't settle well and have bad dreams, waking Mum and Dad up?
The ones who Wet Beds or Sleepwalk?
Everyone should get a payment should they?

No. Because these are our children, who we care for regardless. We should not expect any other extra to care for them even if they are disabled because thats what a parents job is!! To take on looking after a child no matter what.

Indie_Kid

Aputsiaq wrote: »

When you are a parent you do get up during the night even with healthy kids. Are you saying that all new parents whos babies are awake all night long should get paid?
Or the children who don't settle well and have bad dreams, waking Mum and Dad up?
The ones who Wet Beds or Sleepwalk?
Everyone should get a payment should they?

No. Because these are our children, who we care for regardless. We should not expect any other extra to care for them even if they are disabled because thats what a parents job is!! To take on looking after a child no matter what.

!!!!!!

How many people do you know with older children (for arguments sake - 7+) are usually up night after night looking after them? My parents certainly weren't up - unless on the rare ocasion I was either sick or wet the bed. However, that was a rare occurance and I did grow out of it.

Looking after a baby is completely different to looking after a disabled child.

Vicky123

I have disabled children and looking after them when they were babies or even times of sickness as children does not compare to getting up every night for hours at a time, the government understands this so who cares about anyone else who thinks it is normal parenting.
I would also make the assumption that anyone who thinks it is normal parenting duties have never had to do it for any length of time and therefore not worth bothering about.

Aesop

Well said Vicky.

longhotbath

caring for a baby is not the same as caring for a severly disabled child. They baby will quickly develop new skills and independence. The children on higher rate care will not.
The government recognises the additional help these families need - frequently having many medical appintments each week, stays in hospitals, additional expenses for equipment and therapy not provided by the NHS. 40 years ago, these children would have gone into homes shortly after birth. Now, rightly, we are supported in looking after our own children - and they have a future in our society as a result.

Shame on the troll!

itsallinthemind

I've tried quite hard not to reply to this thread as I find some views incredibly narrow minded and feel quite angered, but hey I am a carer of a disabled child, so my skin is tough.

Carers save the tax payers £87 billion per year. A lot of these carers look after their own children. Years ago these children with disabilities would have been packed off somewhere! Yes I chose my path in life, but the simple fact is that my disabled child costs more and without DLA they would lead a very different life and not reach their full potential. In this day and age, do ALL children not DESERVE to reach their full potential, whatever that may be?

My child costs more because:
1. Every trip must be by taxi as vibrations on a bus scare them, cause disruption to the driver/passengers and in a car my child needs full adult supervision as a driver could not concentrate on them and the road. A car seat is not restraint enough for a child that will harm themselves.
2. Constant appointments for various therapies means a lot of transport costs, before you factor in normal activities
3. Cost of sibling to attend normal activities with a minder as the sibling needs respite
4. Cost of care within the home additional to myself as the disabled child needs 100% attention to get to the front door for taxi & escort to take him to special nursery placement, so I can concentrate on other sibling
5. Cost of specialist toys, safety implementation etc. These are not provided by the occuptional therapists and quite frankly are a rip off. You are expected to buy and they are imperitive for development

My child needs more care because:
1. It is not unknown for my child to wake throughout the night, they are a risk to themself and their sibling. It is not always a matter of calming 2 distressed children down, but if it is PICA related this also includes time to strip, make, wash bedding/walls/bathe children, even if it is 04:00
2. At no time for the disabled childs safety or the safety of others, can they be left unsupervised. There have been a few days I have not even managed a shower, although showers are taken when a nap is being taken and very quickly generally!
3. Everything is a risk if a child thinks they can walk out of fourth floor windows, does not understand the concept of no/danger/ouch etc
4. A disabled child with sensory issues can take an hour to dress, occasionally nappy change for a disabled child can take that long too.
5. Everything has to be like a military opperation for a child who can not step outside of a routine as otherwise meltdown will occur, everything must be planned and takes ten times longer
6. My child can not communicate, this impacts on the level of care further
7. Improving communication through PECS and signing takes thousands of hours of the carers time and of course those who have contact with them
8. A child who can not feed themselves at all is not just a case of feeding whilst you eat. First I have another child who is of an age where they need to be fed certain things and the disabled child needs complete attention when feeding, I have tried to eat at the same time and it is simply impossible. I count myself lucky at the age they are supposed to be putting their plates in the dishwasher that they are finally self feeding toast and other dry things due to their profound sensory issues
9. A disabled childs education never ends, it happens from the time the child wakes till they sleep
10. In a meltdown the place can get trashed, 2 tv's in a year, when they meltdown due to fear or sheer frustration at simply not being able to communicate a basic need or want anything nearby has little chance!

My disabled child has problems with mobilitity due to a brain related condition and impacts:
1. There is no fear of things like moving objects/cars, spinning wheels need to be run at
2. Does not distinguish between road or pavement
3. If I were to scream at the top of my lungs no or stop, those words would not register
4. They have to use a 'buggy' despite age and will possibly need a wheelchair soon due to weight/size
5. Buses/trams/trains are impossible
6. I can not drive due to not being able to concentrate and fear of the child or sibling's safety
7. New environments can cause major issues
8. They can not walk down stairs, but will possibly manage 2 or 3 steps upwards, so needs to be carried, whilst their peers are kicking balls

I think that a lot of people need to become far more aware of why disabled children cost more and make themselves familar with the reality of a carers life! Without DLA many children would not have the extra things to help them reach their full potential and without carers allowance many carers would not be able to obtain respite as we live in a society where families are far flung.

I am currently ill and am typing from the bedroom, if I did not have access to respite due to outside care for my disabled child, I simply would end up in a box myself. DLA is VITAL to the mental and physical health of my fmily.