Nice people thread 2 - now even nicer

lostinrates

treliac wrote: »

Thanks for sharing this im. What a lovely little girl she is.

Isn't she? I hope it helps IM....

lostinrates

wageslave wrote: »

Then theres my Ma, minute she needs me, screaming for help.

It isn't that I don't love her or that I wont fight tigers for her.

But where was she me for me?

Christ I sound pathetic

You sound normal, or at leastto me. But this is my take: you can think like this, feel hard done by (you are entitled to, at least I felt I was) and noone willblame you. Bt you'll be less whole because of it. You'll not have the capacity for happiness. Or you can put it in a box, know it, don't forget it, but just....accept it. Its a different sort of passivity, and its frightening after abuse, and with anger, to be passive in any form...but it lets you get on with what you need to get on with and kep fighting their tigers. And getting no thanks

treliac

lostinrates wrote: »

You sound normal, or at leastto me. But this is my take: you can think like this, feel hard done by (you are entitled to, at least I felt I was) and noone willblame you. Bt you'll be less whole because of it. You'll not have the capacity for happiness. Or you can put it in a box, know it, don't forget it, but just....accept it. Its a different sort of passivity, and its frightening after abuse, and with anger, to be passive in any form...but it lets you get on with what you need to get on with and kep fighting their tigers. And getting no thanks

Nicely put lir... you mean keep your strength and energies for the important and positive things in life?

wageslave

treliac wrote: »

Nicely put lir... you mean keep your strength and energies for the important and positive things in life?

Count your blessings..........

lostinrates

treliac wrote: »

Nicely put lir... you mean keep your strength and energies for the important and positive things in life?

That and a bit more. Think of the anger...like...um...a bit of lemon in something you don't want lemon tasting. (this isn't going to be my best analogy, I can tell you that now)You can dress it up and use it for good flavour, which is like using the anger to fue something in you life, you can try and disguise it, which will never work, which is like not accepting but ignoring: or you can just...not put the lemon in what you are cooking: otherwise everything takes an oh so subtle taste of lemon...its a taste that pervades the dish and you can't really ignore.

see, not brilliant.

wageslave

lostinrates wrote: »

That and a bit more. Think of the anger...like...um...a bit of lemon in something you don't want lemon tasting. (this isn't going to be my best analogy, I can tell you that now)You can dress it up and use it for good flavour, which is like using the anger to fue something in you life, you can try and disguise it, which will never work, which is like not accepting but ignoring: or you can just...not put the lemon in what you are cooking: otherwise everything takes an oh so subtle taste of lemon...its a taste that pervades the dish and you can't really ignore.

Brilliant enough for me

All I really need to be is different. Doesn't matter who my Ma is.

I just need to be someone else for the brat.

I will still get it wrong just in a different way.

A really different way. Angry and bitter doesn't work

lostinrates

wageslave wrote: »

Brilliant enough for me

All I really need to be is different. Doesn't matter who my Ma is.

I just need to be someone else for the brat.

I will still get it wrong just in a different way.

A really different way. Angry and bitter doesn't work

For what its worth you sound like a great mother: fearsome, creative, stylish and your own woman.

wageslave

lostinrates wrote: »

For what its worth you sound like a great mother: fearsome, creative, stylish and your own woman.

and drunk...........

lostinrates

wageslave wrote: »

and drunk...........

Every mother has to have a flaw we can wail about and lay blame for our own failings on.

wageslave

lostinrates wrote: »

Every mother has to have a flaw we can wail about and lay blame for our own failings on.

Where does that end and real life begin?

I have been soo angry with my mother and then I think about the brat and how I have failed her

It is horrible to love someone and want to murder them all at the same time.

I expect too much.

How do you tell a selfish auld woman you really dont like her or approve of her choices?