Tipping at funerals

miss_edith

My boyfriend works for a funeral director and is often given a tip by the family when he is a bearer. Apparently it is the done thing around here to tip bearers, nobody else, just the bearers. I find it a bit inappropriate but I suppose without family bearers the hired ones are providing a sensitive service.
Personally I think its much nicer to send a thank you card to the funeral director him/herself later.

lilmisschick

It was my MIL's funeral last week and I am 40 weeks pregnant. The funeral directors had heard that the evening before myself and hubby were in hospital for observations and thought we might end up going into labour on the day so provided off their own back, any extra member of staff and a spare car in case we needed a quick dash to the hospital. I thought that they really went the extra mile and we are sending them a thank you card and little something for how kind they were!

I think it depends on what they do for you really.. I don't tip every restuarant, if for example you get a rubbish service!

Sorry to hear of your loss!

CAFCGirl

At my Grandads funeral in Sept, my Dad took care of this.
We had 4 bearers and the director himself, with 3 cars, and driver of the carriage as well. My Dad put £100 in an envelope, gave it to the head dude and asked him to make sure it was passed out to all those involved.

They were fantastic, and it was a beautiful ceremony and exactly how my Grandad would have wanted it. Everything was done with such care and attention. They collected all the cards from flowers, joined in the hymns and were so well presented and turned out.

Sorry for your loss and best wishes xx

kato

When I received the bills from the funeral director following my fathers and my aunts funerals, I noticed one item listed as "various gratuities" (£50) which I assumed covered tips to all involved.

Savvy_Sue

From my recent experience, Mum was sure we had to tip the FD, and that my brother would know this because he'd arranged the tip at my uncle's funeral. My brother said he thought he'd tipped the grave diggers then, but as we were about to cremate my dad then it wasn't necessary. Especially as the layout of the church meant he was wheeled in rather than borne in on shoulders!

Running_Horse

kato wrote: »

When I received the bills from the funeral director following my fathers and my aunts funerals, I noticed one item listed as "various gratuities" (£50) which I assumed covered tips to all involved.

A friend worked in a mortuary, and it was customary to be tipped by the undertakers when a body was being collected. In fact there was always an unseemly rush of mortuary staff wanting to hand over the body. Something to do with covering the eyes with coins on the journey between worlds?

ClootiesMum

We've tipped the funeral directors. Just about £20 in an envelope prepared before the funeral and handed over at the handshake at the end. Yes, funerals cost a lot but we were appreciative of the burden that was taken off our shoulders - but then we're in Scotland & things seem to be a bit more traditional here (although I didn't realise that until I had to explain to brother who lived in Wales how the funeral & wake would be expected to be done)

And my thought are with you - it's never an easy time

tandraig

I realise that there are tips or gratuities to be dispersed but at every funeral i have ever been to the funeral directors take care of this and it is included in the final bill to the person making the arrangements. it is however 'the done thing' to put money in the collection box at a church service. and i have seen family members collecting donations for charity as well as the funeral directors providing envelopes for charity donations. and it really is up to you whether you wish to donate.