Tipping at funerals

mallard

Difficult to judge forum to put this one in but guessed here as it is a family issue.

Funeral of partner's father on friday and she wondered what the etiquette is about tipping the funeral people. I havent seen this done at funerals but we wondered what others had done/seen.

Thanks.....mallard

McKneff

No, dont even think about it.
Donations in place of floweres - put it in the plate on going out, they usually have one either for the church or for a charity chosen by the family.

mallard

Yes - are doing donations for Macmillan nurses but it was more about whether the funeral staff are given a tip?

peachyprice

Hell no, they make enough as it is. A funeral is not the place to be worried about tips.

busiscoming2

No I have never seen or heard any evidence of this happening and in my opinion would be in very bad taste. Better to write or telephone afterwards and express gratitude that way. A sort of 'Thank you' card.

jillymit

I've never heard of this either, cash tipping does seem a little inappropriate on the day IMHO but if you want to show your appreciation there is nothing to stop you sending a card with a few words of thanks or a small gift to the funeral directors after the day, especially if you are pleased with the service you have received.
Do what you feel is right for you or if it's what the departed would have wanted.

*Louise*

At my daughters funeral I was in no state to care about such things but my mum organised that the grave diggers were given a £5 tip and £20 was put in a card for the vicar which went to his charity.

I thought it was a little inappropriate, and that there was other things to worry about, but all our parents seemed to think it was the done thing. It was all very discreet so no one other than myself or my parents knew about it, certainly none of the other people attending.

However, if it's not something that you want to do, then don't do it. It's like the hairdresser/taxi driver - some tip them, some don't, it's a personal preference.

Fitzio

I don't think you need to tip the funeral directors. If you were going for tea somewhere afterwards then it's fair enough to leave money for the waiters/catering staff, but I wouldn't think it's necessary either as they would understand your mind is on more important things.

Surfbabe

My mums funeral was last week - we didn't tip the funeral directors but I have a sent a card thanking them - and have paid the outrageously large bill !!!!

belfastgirl23

Our undertakers told us who you had to pay what - gravediggers are paid in cash apparently, the altarboys got maybe £5 each and the priest got (I think) £30. I just gave this in cash to the undertaker and he handled it. A tip to the undertaker or caterer doesn't seem appropriate to me...

tattoed_bum

I do remember my gandparents funeral ,and a donation was given to the church and we gave the grave diggers £10 each in an envelope