please can anyone offer advice salvation army hostel and my disabled son

bugbabe

am going out of my mind with worry ,i have a 20 year old son that has learning difficults ,behaviour problems adhd and the list goes on ,he has always been very difficult with never knowing whats going to happen if hes going to have a outburt but he can also be very loveing ,i have struggled for years and he finds it very difficult to make friends as hes never been in main stream school and seems to attract people who just take the mick out of him .things came to a head on sunday night when he went for me kicked all the side of my car done alot of damage i have kicked him out he has a disability worker who has found him a place in the salavation army hostel but am so worried about him and scared if he get in with the wrong people but i also know i cant cope with him anymore and this may just be the fresh start he needs but its so hard hes coming up to 21 this year but is more like a 15 year old sorry if am not making sense but ive hardley slept last night

durham_girl

A Salvation Army hostel is probably one of the better hostels as they are very strict and don't allow drink, drugs or cigarettes on the premises and will refuse access to anyone who appears to be under the influence of one of those things.

I'm sorry I don't really have any other advice, but I hope this has gone some way to reassure you a little bit

bugbabe

thank you x am just going out of my mind with worry as he does trust everyone and thinks everyone is his friend ,its really sad loads of help when he was younger like i said hes never been mainstream school so has always been sheltered left at 19 then nothing theres no factiltes for young adults with metal heath issues and am feeling really bad as i just cant cope any more

seven-day-weekend

Maybe his disability worker could help him get a place in specialised sheltered housing?

This is what was done for the daughter of some friends of mine,(she has learning disabilities) when they felt they could no longer cope.

peachyprice

Could you contact the hostel yourself and have a word with the workers there about your son and your concerns? Hopefully they'll be able to reassure you as to what kind of a set-up they have there and how they might be able to look out for your son.

bugbabe

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Maybe his disability worker could help him get a place in specialised sheltered housing?

This is what was done for the daughter of some friends of mine,(she has learning disabilities) when they felt they could no longer cope.

thanks sadley we have been waiting 3 years and still no place he was having respite in a speialised housing ,but sadley things have reach breaking point

jewelly

It sounds like he needs appropriate housing with support. The local housing department should be able to give you advice on what is available in your area. I'm sure the hostel does it's best, but probably not the best place for him as he sounds so vulnerable.

Sorry, just saw your last post.

bugbabe

the housing couldnt offer anything as he would needed 24 hour watching and they dont have that ,the plan is for him to go in here then get a private flat with some one checking on him

RAS

I suspect that now thingas have reached breaking point, they will have the incentive to sort this out.

It is desparately hard but if you take him back, that incentive will disappear. So hold on.

bugbabe

thanks ras this is how we got to breaking point cos we have been just trying to cope and wait for help but sadley i just couldnt take it anymore its breaking my heart the thought of him there and the worry but it may just get us the help he needs

Indie_Kid

bugbabe wrote: »

the housing couldnt offer anything as he would needed 24 hour watching and they dont have that ,the plan is for him to go in here then get a private flat with some one checking on him

Is a live-in carer or supported living a better option than private flat with someone checking on him?