Please help. At the end of my tether and can't take any more

Pauper_Princess

Thanks again for all your replies, sorry for the delay in replying.

After another night of talking in circles and going nowhere and him not being able to see my point of view despite my efforts to see his, we have decided to separate. If I thought I was miserable before I was VERY wrong.

So when I do the SOA it's just going to be for me now. I went into work today but to be honest might as well not have bothered for how much I've done. Tomorrow I will have to pluck up courage to tell my manager what's happening as she's coming out on Friday to review a job that's not even half done.

Thanks for all your suggestions. I am going to get on with the SOA.

PS he has had the union involved all the way through, he has his appeal meeting next week, but because it's not covered under DDA then they're perfectly able to get shut. And sorry, don't know which poster it was, but yes he could have/should have gone back to the job he did in July but he wanted to have a bit more time off I think (honestly), all by the by now anyway

PP x

smileyt_2

Poor you. (((Hugs)))

Hopefully if your manager has any sense she will suggest you take a few days' off as sick leave just to get your head round this. I hope so, anyway.

Take care,

smileyt

Ches

Royal Mail has an attendance procedure and if this is triggered and after taking any extenuating circumstances into consideration, yes they can terminate your services. I can't say for certain without knowing exactly when the sick leave was taken but judging by the amount of time off it sounds as if they were within their rights. It makes no difference if a doctors certificate has been given its all to do with being available for work. The union rep would have checked all the times/dates and if anything incorrect it would have been corrected at the various interviews he would have attended at each stage of the procedure.

All this doesn't help you though does it? Hugs to you and I hope you find a way of getting through it all.

Tixy

Sorry to hear about this Princess Pauper.

I hope that your manager is understanding - perhaps you could take a little time off to get things sorted? Have you got friends or family close by?

Obviously your finances are not going to be the very first thing on your mind right now but when you are ready and want some advise we will be more than happy to help.

Take care and (((hugs)))

naomijj

Hello PP
I don't really have anything constructive to offer you but I didn't want to read and run. My heart really goes out to you and I wanted to send you a virtual hug (((((((((((((((PP))))))))))))))))
I echo what was said by the OP and think writing things down when you get to see your doctor would help, it's what I do to make sure I remember everything
I really hope everything works out for you, take care and keep coming back here the support is amazing xxx

zarazara

(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

SuzySu

PP....keep posting and we will do all we can to help. I'm not exactly in the same situation, but I am now on my own (with 3 children) so hopefully can offer some help if you need it.

barbiedoll

Ok PP, you've got all the hugs and sympathy from all the lovely posters on this thread and I'm going to allow you one hour each day to cry and feel down and depressed. But today is the first day of the rest of your life and it's now up to you to get a handle on these debts and deal with them yourself. You are in a great position, you have a full-time, if stressful job. But at least you don't have to come home to someone else's washing and ironing and you don't have to cook someone else's dinner. You will find it much easier to budget now that you don't have to pay electric and gas bills so that OH can sit around all day playing on the computer in comfort. You will be able to feed yourself so much more cheaply and you'll be able to stick to a budget without worrying whether your income is suddenly going to be cut. I know you're feeling depressed and I can understand why, the end of a relationship is always horrid and you need time to grieve, but you will find the strength to carry on and you will cope with this alone. You were the one who came on here to find help and you are the one facing up to the financial problem. You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for, so get your head together and fill in the SOA. You will receive so much help and support on here and you will be able to work towards a solution sooner than you think. We're all here, and ready when you are.

PS: Reading this back to myself, I realised it sounded a little harsh, it wasn't meant to. But I think that the separation was on the cards anyway? You sound as though you are resigned to the fact. And I mean what I say about one hour each day for crying/feeling sad etc, etc. I was told this by a friend many years ago and I found that it really worked for me. Have a good cry, allow yourself a big cake or bar of chocolate and wallow for an hour!