what should kids pay toward the house

charlea

a friend has asked me for some advice but im friend with both her and her husband so feel a bit trapped in the middle

Her husband is asking for her two sons 18 and 16 one starting uni in oct and one on apprenticship to pay rent/or contribute to household bills /expenses now that they have left school and work part time

My friend feels that they should not be paying yet as they are still young /in education and she is still getting child benefit for them at the moment but this will stop shortly

She has said that when the child benefit stops the boys will then have to contribute toward what she is losing ie her child benefit which is around 18 per child so she was going to ask them for 20 pounds each

But her OH feels that what she is asking for them is not enough
He pays all the rent /bills ect holidays ect she buys the food and stuff for the house

her husband feels that she will get back her benefit from the kids but he is still going to be paying the rent /bills ect and that the kids should either pay more or she should hand over the money from the kids or she should put more money towards the rent

i will add that my friend gets no child support from her kids dad although he dose buy everthing for them ie clothes paying for uni bus passes ect but wont give her actual cash my friend works full time and so dose her husband but he is paying out around 500 +100arrears to the csa which will continue for at least another 7 years or so for his two kids

What do you think is the right amount of payment for kids at there age to pay
I think that my friend earns more than what she tells her husband in order not to pay as much into the household but that just my thoughts that i have got by listening to her talking about this Orginally she was working part time and OH paid all the bills /rent but now she works full time so earns more money I guess this is why i get the feeling she is being creative with her wages in order not to have to pay more
I sort of have my own opinion on this but would appreciate others points of view
i dont want to fall out with either of them

MarieAAP

Hi Charlea

Difficult. The question is, what are they earning?

The balace is not easy. They need to learn more about the practicallities of living independantly, and this is a good in-between gap experience before doing it, but you also don't want to take all their spare change.

Perhaps 1/4 of their take home income? They will feel the hit, but it will not affect their transport costs, text books, clothing too much.

Ofc when they really leave home it can be 1/3 - 1/2 of a person's income....And that will hurt an awful lot, if have not been prepared for it. I suspect that this is where alot of uni students get into huge problems!

M

Kay_Peel

Personally, I wouldn't ask a University student or a 16 year old apprentice to pay anything. I would consider them to be dependants in full time education and I wouldn't take a penny from them until such time as they got full time jobs with a regular wage.

At the moment the boys have no choice but to live at home. They are not in a position to pay rent or to get their own place. One will have no income and the state expects parents to support them at University. The apprentice will be on a low income which probably goes nowhere near his needs for food, accommodation, clothing, travel etc.

I'm at a loss as to why their Dad thinks they should pay their way when they are not in a position to do so. Is he trying to make a point?

onlyroz

I wouldn't charge my child rent if they were still in education, but if they were in full-time employment then I'd find out what the "going rate" was and charge them a bit less than that.

daniel_owen_uk

1/4 of their income is a great suggestion.

Realistically you aren't going to charge enough to cover the cost of having them in the home, so look to get something, whilst teaching them that things in life aren't free.

peachyprice

Kay_Peel wrote: »

I'm at a loss as to why their Dad thinks they should pay their way when they are not in a position to do so. Is he trying to make a point?

Probably because he's not the boy's dad

viktory

Depends on how much the boys have in disposable income, once travel, books etc have been purchased. The apprentice could end up with a very healthy sum at the end of the month, depending on his wage (they don't all earn a pittance, you know!) and the lad at University could also have a very healthy bank balance if he is living rent free at home, yet taking all the loans etc. The parents might be struggling a bit.

Housekeeping doesn't have to be a lot of money but getting children into the habit of paying their way is no bad thing.

peachyprice wrote: »

Probably because he's not the boy's dad

That is a nasty assumption.

Person_one

I wasn't asked to pay rent at home until I'd left university and was working full time.

I don't understand the dad's view here at all, when you have children surely you realise they aren't going to magically vanish and not need your help and support anymore at the age of 18? Or 16!!

floss2

Where is the older son going to be living when he starts uni? If he is living at home, then it is unlikely he will be able to afford to contribute, as it is quite likely that the household income will have been assessed to make a contribution to his support, i.e. he will only be entitled to a lower rate of grant and/or loan because his mother & her partner will be expected to top this up.

RAS

It all rather depends whether the son going to University is living at home or away. If he lives at home, he is getting money towards his keep as part of his loans/grants/bursaries. He should therefore contribute that to the household during term time.

vaio

charlea wrote: »

a friend has asked me for some advice but im friend with both her and her husband so feel a bit trapped in the middle..........

......i dont want to fall out with either of them.....

In that case stay out of it, if you don't you'll be seen as taking sides and it will end in tears