Considering paying off partners debts

Vikitor

Hello all I was hoping to get some advice.

I am considering paying off my partners debts in preparation for when we move in together in August this year and get married in summer 2011.

We have been together almost seven years and the relationship is very solid, but of course I am not naive enough to think that nothing could go wrong in the next 3 years or so it would take him to pay me back so there are some nerves there.

He's around £15k in debt on 5 separate credit cards and has around £1000 left to pay off on a loan he took out for his car - at the moment he's just about covering the interest but often misses payments and has to pay late fees etc. The debt isn't growing but it's also not going down. I have the money to pay off the £15k currently sitting not earning much interest in an NS&I account and he insists if we go ahead he wants to pay it back as soon as possible and with interest at at least the same rate.

I suppose my two main queries are is there any thing we can do to 'protect' ourselves incase the relationship turns ugly and how would you suggest the best way for him to pay me back is - I was thinking of setting up a high interest new bank account that he can pay the money into via standing order each month and he has suggested setting up an ISA in his name (as I already have one).

Any suggestions or advice appreciated and if you have any questions please feel free to ask

bryanb

If he can't pay his credit cards why do you think he'll pay you?

DarkConvict

The point he is getting at that loaning from a relation is cheaper than on credit, credit cards can be 17-40%, family member, maybe 0-5%. Also as the interest would go back to the partner there is then no lose of income in the household to interest.

You would need to have an agreement drawn up, i would advise it be done by a solicitor consider the size of the loan, but i guess you could do it between yourselfs on paper. The problem with just some paper, is that if you do break up, you want to be able to goto court and prove the money was loaned, not gifted.

Vikitor

He pays the interest on the credit cards each month, sometimes he misses the due dates by a few days and has to pay the £12 late fees - it comes to around £400 - £500 a month.

But only paying off the interest means he isn't clearing the debts at all, just stopping them from getting worse.

If he's paying the same amount back to me then obviously each month he's making the debt smaller and not just throwing money away.

Butti

I agree with Dark Convict. Get it drawn up by a solicitor and held somewhere other than home. Have a look with him at his patterns of behaviour / weaknesses to address those so that you just don't enable him to work up another pile of debt. Work out a budget and then get on with living your lives - there's nothing worse than it becoming an issue in the relationship.

B

Happytogetdebtfree

why not look at his highest intrest and pay that .... close it or see if they offer a 0% balance transfer of lob then hes not getting loads from you at once.... 15 k is a lot to pay to a partner incasse it does turn ugly so what about doing it in stages ?
so paying a card off and seeing if a 0% can be got and then letting him pay you and that then once hes paid you a certain amount back then pay anbother one off .... have you got a joint account ??

welshmoneylover

There is no way I would pay anyone else's debt.

Hell would freeze over first

zarazara

my son paid his partners debts with the inheritance he got from his grandad. they'd lived together for 2 years and have a baby. then she dumped him.

DarkConvict

Off topic - Another option to consider, whilst still loaning money is rather than paying in full, make full and final offers. As the accounts are not defaulted and still with original creditors the offers will still need to be 70%+ although they may did below it.
Might be able to save a £1000.

natters_2

I paid off my O/H's debts and all he did was run them all up again, only doing it secretly the next time - my instincts would be don't do it - if you are getting married insist on taking the financial reins - then check his/your credit report every year - we are still together after 20 yrs and spending is his only vice - if your partner loves and trusts you as much as he is probably saying he does, he won't object to the imposed conditions, and you will be fairly safe in the knowledge that you are controlling the finances.

Happytogetdebtfree

I have to say that we are all assuming if she pays her partner of 7 years will leave her, i think there is a way of helping sensiblyand making sure you get money back ...