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lostinrates

Alexnikov wrote: »

It doesn't bother me when people say it - my mum was apparently exactly the same till she hit 30. I just think of the things that put me off it and it's not the lie ins and being able to spend my money on me, it's more the fact that I've never had any contact with children younger than about 8 and babies quite frankly terrify me. The thought of being pregnant and having something grow inside me really does revolt me. And also, not sure if I should even admit this, but I have a bad temper and I would be afraid of losing it Plus I am a person who really needs my own space at times and I know full well I couldn't cope with always being on call.

Perhaps if I'm ever in a proper relationship I might change my mind but seeing as I don't really foresee that in my future either, it's not something I think too much about.

babies, like people, are different. One of my nieces was a nightmare, screamed all the time if she wasn't held. The other was a delight, and the very sunniest child imagainable. Toddlers are ..hard work..they understand a lot, but not everything..they are too slow to keep up, but fast enough to keep you rushing: its a sort of toddler paradox. But when they get fun is just after that...when everything is possible to them: fairies, monsters, that they could become kings and queens, and maybe learn to fly...while also having a job at a zoo....you can talk to them without making funny noises, but they aren't horrified if you fancy speaking in a funny voice or having a go at a cartwheel.

Alexnikov

Lovely as that sounds, I still don't want one. I'm going to be mad Auntie Alex, I'll be happy

piratefairy

hehe, fair enough alex!

lostinrates

Alexnikov wrote: »

Lovely as that sounds, I still don't want one. I'm going to be mad Auntie Alex, I'll be happy

Being an aunt is pretty cool.

retro_bluebell

piratefairy wrote: »

oh vicki this is why i'd be terrified of being pregnant..apparently sometimes your feet grow ;S what if they never went back!

mine are actually smaller than they were previously to having Jasmine...now a lot of 5's are too big for me

tara747

piratefairy wrote: »

I agree, LiR / tara.. i think i now believe in the if / when something happens it should be because it is meant to be..
i was really messed up last yr, had a m/c with the ex..which was probably the beginning of the end based on how much i let it affect me..completely unplanned and would have turned our worlds upside down and i realise now would certainly not have held us together..so things usually turn out for the best whether you think so at the time or not..meh..sorry if this makes not much sense due to being a bit rambly, but nobody knows, i haven't talked baout it..

(((((((((enormous hug))))))))))) PF, I'm glad you've come out the other side and can see it with the wisdom of hindsight... thanks for posting xo

Alexnikov wrote: »

The thought of being pregnant and having something grow inside me really does revolt me. And also, not sure if I should even admit this, but I have a bad temper and I would be afraid of losing it Plus I am a person who really needs my own space at times and I know full well I couldn't cope with always being on call.

Yup and yup. Plus the lie ins.

retro_bluebell

Alexnikov wrote: »

(((Daisy)))

I may actually consider egg donation at some point in the future - I genuinely don't want children and I doubt I'll change my mind, so it would be good to help out people who do but can't (if that makes sense?).

my best friend has never wanted kids and she has done this...you have to be pretty sure you want to do it though as its kind of a painful experience.

retro_bluebell

As much as I love you girls I really hope this isnt going to turn into a erm debate like the one on the CFBC thread as to be honest a lot of thise things said on there really upset me......I am all for freedom of choice and I dont believe at all if you say you dont want kids now that you will automatically change your mind when you hit a certain age, but I dont know if I would want to sit here and hear some of "those" types of comments iyswim?


Sorry maybe being too sensitive but I get tons of comments especially having 3 (and 2 different dads) that my hackles get up with these things....

lostinrates

retro_bluebell wrote: »

As much as I love you girls I really hope this isnt going to turn into a erm debate like the one on the CFBC thread as to be honest a lot of thise things said on there really upset me......I am all for freedom of choice and I dont believe at all if you say you dont want kids now that you will automatically change your mind when you hit a certain age, but I dont know if I would want to sit here and hear some of "those" types of comments iyswim?


Sorry maybe being too sensitive but I get tons of comments especially having 3 (and 2 different dads) that my hackles get up with these things....

Not sure which thread you mean retro? I think the thing is for some of us freedom of choice isn't really the issue, we can't: there is no or little choice and have to come to terms with it. I think its better to do this in a positive..what we can do with out lives way, than a negative way...
I can see why some of it might feel insensitive, but tbf, there is a lot of insensitivity over those who don't have kids too. I feel really, really uncomfortable when people ask if we are trying, or when we are going to have kids...the truth is a bit of a downer, and the alternatives untrue or flippant.

I hope we can all stay friends and open and respectful of different stances here.

retro_bluebell

the anyone child free by choice one Lost.....I totally agree that there are tons of insenstive comments made to those who dont want kids...I would never dream of saying to my closest friend (or anyone one here) some of the things I heard some others say to her...she doesnt want any end of story...but at the same time I wouldnt be friends with her if she was the type to say that having kids is a waste of time and they are something to feel repulsed/ disgusted about...Im all for people doing what they feel is right with thier lives but I dont like it when others look down their nose at me for making a choice that I feel is right for my life iykwim?

Not saying anyones done that here...Im just too sensitive I think...I think I should shut up now...and stop looking at that other thread lol