Wishing my life away :(

debtdesperado

Hi Ginger

You're definitely not alone... I feel exactly the same way. Am just over halfway through my DF journey and have a similar amount to you to pay back. I literally count the days down until payday, pay my debts for the month, and then go back to living frugally.

I've done all the big things, decluttered and ebayed for britain, returned all the clothes with tags and ebayed everything that doesn't fit, sold most of my books, everything of value I own, claimed back bank charges, reduced my gas and electric etc, don't have a computer or sky at home because of the cost, don't put the heating on often, take my lunches to work blah blah blah blah. There is nothing more to do other than plug away each month with my earnings or wait for a lottery win (except I don't play the lottery as would rather put the £4 a month to the debt) to reduce it further. Don't get me wrong, I do have the occasional treat, but somehow the 'thrill' of rewarding myself by spending money has somewhat gone, given that my 'treats' previously got me into £42k of debt...so even that doesn't cheer me up anymore! :-) (Instead I read the old-style board - it's lovely and cosy, like cuddling up with a cup of tea, a chocolate biscuit with your nan telling you a story about when she was young... I love it...and it's free!).

Now, I realise, is actually the hardest point in a debt-free journey.. it's the long slog. At the moment I am absolutely fed up of it, but the thought of taking a backwards step and increasing my debt makes me feel worse. The only comfort I take from my position is that the more painful the lesson, the better it has been learnt.

What is worse at the moment is that many of my friends, who have been sensible with their money rather than wasting it are now reaping the benefit of being sensible and have lovely flash cars and clothes (having put a secure financial foundation in place), whereas I'm just sitting there in my 12 year old skirt and bobbly cheap jumper hearing about how they went on holiday (not even somewhere flash) but knowing that I can't afford even the cheapest holiday - and it's all my own fault for being so silly years ago.

Sorry to whine, but I feel your pain Ginger!

Piggy_Bank_Raider

I know exactly how you feel Ginger, I'm in pretty much the same position as you. All I seem to do is work then sit home feeling miserable and I've lost touch with so many friends who are all moving on and enjoying the money they've been sensible with. It's quite lonely. I just have to believe these days will pass and it 5 or 6 years I'll be free to enjoy life again! This forum really helps, knowing other people are in the same boat.

xgingerx

Thanks EVERYONE for taking the time to reply to this thread, ive enjoyed reading all your comments and its definatley reassured me to think im not alone on this one !!!

ps debtdesperado, i like the "I feel your pain" quote lol

dib-dab

I am the same - I look forward to pay day so much and love updating my spreadsheet and working out how much can be paid off - but then hate waiting for the next payday. I feel like life is on hold until we are debt free. I feel like life will be perfect then but that is probably a very unrealistic way of looking at things - there is always something to worry about unfortunately. I just can't wait to find out what it feels like not to be worrying about debt.

Piggy_Bank_Raider

debtdesperado wrote: »

Hi Ginger


What is worse at the moment is that many of my friends, who have been sensible with their money rather than wasting it are now reaping the benefit of being sensible and have lovely flash cars and clothes (having put a secure financial foundation in place), whereas I'm just sitting there in my 12 year old skirt and bobbly cheap jumper hearing about how they went on holiday (not even somewhere flash) but knowing that I can't afford even the cheapest holiday - and it's all my own fault for being so silly years ago.

It's SO nice to hear someone else say that! Ha ha, my work lunches consist of £1 M&S sandwiches every day and every day is an exercise in resourcefulness whilst trying not to let on and be enthusistic about everyone else's extravagant purchases. If only I'd joined the girl scouts

Madison

Having been in a DMP for just over six years I know exactly where you're coming from and the only way you can deal with it is to accept things as they are and consider your life, in terms of finances, as being on hold for the time being and look for happiness in other things.

Percy1983

I am very much the same, i do just feel like I am waiting for the next payday to clear more off debts. The reality id my life is on hold until its gone and I have to live with that.

But I have found ebaying stuff is a great distraction in both killing time and clearing debts.

I also waste time looking at ways to move it about and clear it quicker, but I have detached myself from this now and don't lose sleep, let you final thought be 'its all under control'.

debtdesperado

So true Piggy bank raider! The other day I had to be enthusiastic as my friend took me out in her new BMW. She paid cash, having saved up for it and was so thrilled - rightly so - at her achievement.

It wasn't lost on me that I could have bought TWO similar BMWs for the amount of debt I had... instead I bought meals out, clothes and makeup:mad:

Boy, have I learnt my lesson....:money:

System

I just want to echo what you have all said here. Pay day is a thrill as I can stick money on the debts and update my spreadsheet and signature, but then the rest of the month is a hideous string of poverty-filled days where I can't afford to go out and, even if I could, I don't have the time or energy to do so because I'm out 12 hours a day with my full-time job, and then I work 3-4 hours at my second job every evening. My entire life consists of working, then sleeping, then getting up and working again. Hideous!

I have no life and nothing to look forward to except my DFD, which always seems like a million miles away. I have lost touch with friends because I can never join in with their activities. I now only socialise with people if it involves going to their houses for free nights in, but all of my friends are now leaving the area and I can't afford to get to most of their houses any more! A very lonely and sorry state of affairs indeed.

This whole journey has been a very expensive lesson. I have learned the really hard way.

Woowoo

I'm lucky that when I confessed the true depths of my debts to my friends they admitted that only agreed to nights out etc as they didn't want to disappoint anyone - when actually none of us have any money to spend on going out!

My social life now revolves around visiting the gym 3 nights a week with my friends for a good natter, which I know is another £35 a month I could be paying off my debts but I need to maintain some sort of a life!