Is anyone having a quick, quiet register office wedding?

faerie_girl

Me and OH have been together for 4 1/2 years, engaged for 1 1/2 years and have a son who is 13 months.

We have both decided so have a simple register office wedding. I work part-time so we don't have a lot of income coming in. We also have about £2000 of debt. It would be madness for us to have a big wedding, with all our family invited (mine is huge!). OH is working overtime (even thought I offered ) to get our debts paid off, then we can focus on getting married.

I know everyone will think we are cheap and poor for the way we are going to have our wedding, but I don't want to get into debt to please everyone else. Plus we act like a married couple, we just need to sign that paper. If thats all we had to do then we would have done it ages ago.

Our general plans so far are to have it at the local register office (only costs £103). Invite only closs family - parents (5), Granparents (7), siblings (2) (one being my bridesmaid), bestman, our son.
I don't want a 'proper' wedding dress but something I can wear again, the same with my sisters bridesmaid dress. I've seen some nice dresses in Dorothy Perkins online which are only £40.
OH works for a compnay owned by next and gets 25% off. They also have a discount shop at this location which often has last seasons complete suits so hopefully we will be able to get some from there.
I'm not sure about flowers (boquet for me and sister, button holes for those who want them) I would perhaps like a modern alternative which I would make myself, maybe good fake flowers so everyone can keep them as a momento.
I want to make our own wedding cake or perhaps buy one pre-made and decorate if myself.
For a photographer I guess we will hire someone. If I could physically do it myself I would do!
Not sure on wedding rings, I've had a look on Amazon with the hope to upgrade in the future.

The reception is what is stumping us. It would be daft to hire a place with food and entertainment for 15 1/2 of us. We don't really want a huge reception with all our family for cost issues. I wouldn't really want to hire our local community hall as it's the most drabest building to have a party in, then theres the fuss of hiring entertainment, food (probably a buffet which I would want to do myself).
I guess and alternative would to be have a little garden party at our house although it is small the garden is a reasonable size, hoping there would nice weather we could all go outide.
Or we could book a resturant which I would imagine would be quite expensive p/h.

I guess if our money situation was better then we would hire a place for our wedding and reception (OH would like a castle lol). Pay for caters, entertainment, cars, the best outfits etc. Neither of us want to wait much longer to get married though. We are going to put our notice in next month and see what they have available for this year. September the 25th would be fab as thats the day we had our first date, although I think we will have left it a bit late for this year so another date my have to do.

It would be a lot easier if we could get married on our own with just two witnesses but I know that would upset my family a lot, especially with my fathers parents. There was a bit of huffing from both sides when we announced my pregnancy (planned).

So after that mamoth post... is one anyone else have a cheap, quick, quiet DIY wedding? What are your plans? Do you feel 'cheap' for doing it and that others will look down on you? (this is worry but I know it should'nt matter what others think!)

Evansangel

My wedding is fairly cheap, cause we cant afford a massive one but dont want to wait to be married.

Umm, church is £425 (i have offered register office but OH knows i always wanted a church so is insisting we have it)
Reception hall is local royal british legion £200 (with DJ)
And then my dress was free, BM's doing own dresses. And im doing the buffet myself.

And yes i feel cheap doing it that way, but only because we recently went to OH's cousins wedding, and they were given £12k to spend on their wedding

Our day guests equal to about 40, then about 60 for evening.

tabskitten

we are having a quiet reg office wedding- going to lake district with both sets parents and no one else!!

No stress

then a massive party at weekend

do i feel cheap- not at all

gettin married is about the person you love- not putting on an expencive show!!

faerie_girl

Thanks for the reply evansangel. May I ask what your budget is?
I haven't seriously started looking at figures yet, just for the actual ceromony. We are both Atheists so although it would be lovely and special to marry in the local church my parents married in we wouldn't want a reglious cermony when we don't have faith.
I am wondering if we could do it for £800 or less. With the over time DP is putting himself through we will get an extra £300 p/m. He's also getting some bonus soon and I'll be getting a tiny bit of profit share in April. So it is something that we could save over a couple of months. We don't want to wait until next year. We would both like me to have the same surname as DP and LO, and to re-register LO to legitimise him(although i know it doesn't really matter in this day)

faerie_girl

tabskitten wrote: »

gettin married is about the person you love- not putting on an expencive show!!

We would both feel bad if we spend £10,000's on a wedding. But ideally we would like a little bit more so it didn't have to be so carefully budgeted

It only in the last month or so that we have both felt a real urge to get married right NOW. In hindsight it would have been better to have saved from the begining of our engagement, but then there were more important things to spend money on like our LO, or getting a bigger house etc.

moggylover

faerie_girl wrote: »

Me and OH have been together fo:jr 4 1/2 years, engaged for 1 1/2 years and have a son who is 13 months.

We have both decided so have a simple register office wedding. I work part-time so we don't have a lot of income coming in. We also have about £2000 of debt. It would be madness for us to have a big wedding, with all our family invited (mine is huge!). OH is working overtime (even thought I offered ) to get our debts paid off, then we can focus on getting married.

I know everyone will think we are cheap and poor for the way we are going to have our wedding, but I don't want to get into debt to please everyone else. Plus we act like a married couple, we just need to sign that paper. If thats all we had to do then we would have done it ages ago.

Our general plans so far are to have it at the local register office (only costs £103). Invite only closs family - parents (5), Granparents (7), siblings (2) (one being my bridesmaid), bestman, our son.
I don't want a 'proper' wedding dress but something I can wear again, the same with my sisters bridesmaid dress. I've seen some nice dresses in Dorothy Perkins online which are only £40.
OH works for a compnay owned by next and gets 25% off. They also have a discount shop at this location which often has last seasons complete suits so hopefully we will be able to get some from there.
I'm not sure about flowers (boquet for me and sister, button holes for those who want them) I would perhaps like a modern alternative which I would make myself, maybe good fake flowers so everyone can keep them as a momento.
I want to make our own wedding cake or perhaps buy one pre-made and decorate if myself.
For a photographer I guess we will hire someone. If I could physically do it myself I would do!
Not sure on wedding rings, I've had a look on Amazon with the hope to upgrade in the future.

The reception is what is stumping us. It would be daft to hire a place with food and entertainment for 15 1/2 of us. We don't really want a huge reception with all our family for cost issues. I wouldn't really want to hire our local community hall as it's the most drabest building to have a party in, then theres the fuss of hiring entertainment, food (probably a buffet which I would want to do myself).
I guess and alternative would to be have a little garden party at our house although it is small the garden is a reasonable size, hoping there would nice weather we could all go outide.
Or we could book a resturant which I would imagine would be quite expensive p/h.

I guess if our money situation was better then we would hire a place for our wedding and reception (OH would like a castle lol). Pay for caters, entertainment, cars, the best outfits etc. Neither of us want to wait much longer to get married though. We are going to put our notice in next month and see what they have available for this year. September the 25th would be fab as thats the day we had our first date, although I think we will have left it a bit late for this year so another date my have to do.

It would be a lot easier if we could get married on our own with just two witnesses but I know that would upset my family a lot, especially with my fathers parents. There was a bit of huffing from both sides when we announced my pregnancy (planned).

So after that mamoth post... is one anyone else have a cheap, quick, quiet DIY wedding? What are your plans? Do you feel 'cheap' for doing it and that others will look down on you? (this is worry but I know it should'nt matter what others think!)

Actually I don't think it is "cheap" at all! I think it is lovely because you are keeping your eye firmly on the real reason for getting married: the fact that you love each other and want to state that in company, and not just going for the over-priced, "look-at-me" show that SO represents weddings these days: despite the debt they often incur!

So long as YOU and your hubby-to-be and your little lad are happy then it doesn't matter at all about anyone else.

The garden party sounds lovely, but the weather could put the dampers on that (no pun intended:D) but you could ask at some of the nicer local (or perhaps not so local depending upon your area) pubs as I went to a wedding reception in one locally here a couple of years back and they only charged about £7 per head for a really lovely meal (2 courses, wonderful steaks and chicken dishes, fruit salad or cheesecake to follow) and we all paid for our own drinks and coffees and bits! The pub actually decorated the room and made the place look lovely (it was a side room not the main bar) and several of us made bits and pieces for my friend for the day, like button holes and invitations and the boxes for a bit of wedding cake.

Love the good quality fake flowers idea! It would give a little momento for the guests as well!

I hope that you have a truly wonderful day and that the years that follow are both happy and healthy and that your common sense and thrift at the start will ensure prosperity in the future:)

Good luck!

kr15snw

Faerie, do you want a party in the evening or just you guys (the 16 of you) to continue celebrating.

Could you maybe have the registry office at about 4ish then go off for photos and then maybe book a section in your favourite restaurant / a nice restaurant in the area? You could spend the evening there enjoying good food and a few drinks? Perfect if its a small group.

When we went for our tasting session at our venue (a holiday inn hotel) there was a small group of people who had just got married at the registry office (its across the road) and had a small corner of the hotel restaurant cornered off (there were about 20 of them). They had one large table and had decorations, name places, favours and a cake on a small table next to them. We spoke to the bride during the evening and she said she had the ceremony, went for photos at the local beauty spot (which is where the registry office and hotel is) and then had the meal. After the meal they had speeches and cut the cake, it was lovely but intimate They then went to the bar after and had drinks.

Do you have a holiday inn or nice local hotel you could approach?

sal-ad_daze

My daughter's s-i-l to be (iykwim) has just got married very simply, and it was a lovely day.
They had the registry office, she got her dress and the bm's dresses from ebay (all under £200 but the(3 adult) bm's bought their own). The reception was in the local pub where they partitioned off part of the restaurant area for us and we chose off the menu. The family had clubbed together and hired the function room upstairs for an evening party and friends who were a dj and in a group provided entertainment as gifts.
It may be worth looking at local social clubs or 'private members' clubs for the reception, if they have sound systems you can use you just need to see if you can connect an i-pod to the system and then you can control your own music. Some clubs don't charge much for leasing at all, if your community centre is drab, raid a fabric store seconds bin and see what a difference it makes to drab walls - oh and fairy lights too everyone has them in their christmas box.
Don't worry about it not costing thousands, it's the day that matters and whatever you do it will be a day to remember! Good luck

alenax

There's nothing wrong with it - my mum got married in a registry office, she bought her outfit from the market! And afterwards they all just got drunk at the newlyweds' house; not very romantic but it was a great party and everyone had an amazing time!

Do any of your friends or family have a nice garden that you could ask to use for the reception? You could just put a few lounge chairs around and order some takeaway

Stephb1986_2

My MIL2B is having a registry office wedding there is just going to be me,OH, SIL2B her OH her 3 kids and MIL2B's step daugther and her fella. Then we're having a pub lunch. She isn't inviting her own mum or any of her sisters.

Its up to you what you do it's your day no one elses.

Steph xx

thistledome

tabskitten wrote: »

we are having a quiet reg office wedding- going to lake district with both sets parents and no one else!!

No stress

then a massive party at weekend

do i feel cheap- not at all

gettin married is about the person you love- not putting on an expensive show!!

:T I love this lady! Best wishes to you both.

I didn't intend to reply to this thread because I'm not getting married unfortunately, but if I did I'd want it to be as cheap and stress-free as possible. Tabskitten's wedding would be perfect for me. (and beyond perfect without the out-laws!!).

OP, do what you want to do and if works out cheap you mustn't care what other people think about it - it's your day and your life. Some people would feel super-special if they spent thousands on their wedding day and some would feel miserable about that much expense on a wedding. Do what makes you happy.