I'm confused as to what's best

euronorris

From what I read on the gov site, you are right, they only have to consider your request. BUT, it does also say that they have to have strong business reasons for declining.

Which they may well do. So, OP, do as Savvy-Sue suggests and have some solutions ready for them.

But, you have to ask. If you don't ask, you definitely won't get.

Good luck x

Savvy_Sue

Also remember that you don't have to ask NOW! Wait until it's time to say "I'm going on maternity leave, I intend to come back", make sure you give notice of WHEN you intend to return at the right times, and then ask if you can come back p/t. You could sow the seed now by saying you had wondered about p/t.

chickaroonee

I think you dr is seriously misguided (being polite) advising you to give up work because you're depressed. There is a great deal of evidence out there to show that working is good for you mental well-being (never mind financial). Being a single mum at home could be quite isolating for you, or for anyone.

You definitely need to register with the CSA for payments from your ex when the baby is born, even if he is on benefits/low wage etc you will still get a little bit (OK it may be token payments but it's establishing the responsibility he has). Also, I wouldn't worry about discussing working arrangements with your employer yet, it's early days and you don't need to make a decision about part-time working just yet, although it's good to be prepared. Why don't you look out your company's maternity policy (presuming it has one) and then you'll get an idea of what maternity pay you're entitled to?

Good luck with everything, I'm pregnant and have a lot of respect for those that are bringing their kids up alone, it must be tough. Maybe look into the local sure start centres for support available to you? Ours are really good, and run a number of groups for mums and mums to be, it might help you meet other people in your area.

C_Mababejive

RE Depression... I would suggest that your future work plans run parallel with dealing with your depression and that you do not allow them to merge.

If you give up work due to depression then that will be a major blocker to future employment and being out of work may well actually worsen your condition.

Depression has to be dealt with day by day...hour by hour if necessary but one thing you must do is never go backwards. Tread water if you have to but always aim to move forwards.

I suggest that you plan to return to work and in the mean time,seek help with depression so that hopefully,once the child is born you can return to work,have a coping strategy to deal with depression and will have made your ex partner aware of his moral,legal and financial responsibilities to you and your child.

kindofagilr

confusedmum2be wrote: »

I am currently 9 weeks pregnant and single. I am currently working 40hours per week and get approx £1400 per month after tax. I am going to continue working up until the baby is born and then take maternity leave however my doctor thinks that I will be better off giving up work when the baby is born (or after maternity leave at any rate) so that I can look after baby etc. He says that I will get more benefits doing that then by continuing to work. I already know that I am not going to want to go back to work once baby is born as I will have to go back about 4 months after the birth (who'd want to leave their baby that young?!) but I am not sure how I will be able to cope financially without my wage. I don't have any family (or friends really) in my area that would be able to help look after the baby once I have gone back to work and I am scared to leave my new born baby with strangers. Plus I am already panicking about how I will cope whilst on maternity leave as the pay is terrible!

The father of my baby wants nothing to do with either of us and as he is a student I cant claim child support (or any other type of support/help for that matter) off him.

Can anyone help clear my confused mind?

Ant advice would be greatly appreciated!!

I deffo think you are better off staying in work. Say you earn £21k before tax full time.

No way you are going to get that in benefits or I should bloody hope not.

You will be entiled to tax credits and child benefit even if you remain full time, best option if you can afford it is asking to go part time

confusedmum2be

I was trying to think last night about the reasonings behind the doctor wanting me to quit work and I think I missed something out in my last post (sorry!!). He basically thinks that I need 'a good couple of years intensive treatment' for which he does not think I will have time for working and having a child.

Anyway, I do not think that I want to give up work full time, I fully appreciate that working helps depression - I certainly would not be leaving my job because of the depression, I would be leaving because of my child/unsupportive hours.

I am definately going to look into going part time and if my job cannot offer it to me I think that I will be looking at leaving this job and getting a more conviniently houred job.

Thanks very much for all your responses, I feel a lot clearer about my situation now.

Lotus-eater

I would at least do the figures and work out what you would be entitled to if you gave up your job, include day care for your LO.
Then work out how much you would come home with after a months work, take off all your expenses, child care (you don't get the whole cost, but there are child care vouchers you can buy through some companies, which cut the cost, Martin has details somewhere), costs (or extra costs needed for work) to run a car, other expenses at work and there are lots you may not think about, clothes, collections for birthdays, lunches out, fact you can use washable nappies by being at home, most nurseries won't let you.
Then work out what time you would have to leave and get back home at night, on 40 hours a week to get to and back from a nursery, depending how far away you live from your chosen nursery, you are going to be spending a minimum of time at home.
That is going to effect how you feed yourself and your child, (extra costs due to easy meals?), how much time you have together, time for you both to visit baby clubs.

Of course you have to offset this against any chance of advancement in your chosen field of work, in a few years you may well be earning alot more. Remember, what is right for one person, may not be right for someone else.

Being a single parent is a ridiculously difficult job and I have the greatest respect for anyone that manages to do it, job or no job.

Spendless

confusedmum2be wrote: »

I was trying to think last night about the reasonings behind the doctor wanting me to quit work and I think I missed something out in my last post (sorry!!). He basically thinks that I need 'a good couple of years intensive treatment' for which he does not think I will have time for working and having a child.

Anyway, I do not think that I want to give up work full time, I fully appreciate that working helps depression - I certainly would not be leaving my job because of the depression, I would be leaving because of my child/unsupportive hours.

I am definately going to look into going part time and if my job cannot offer it to me I think that I will be looking at leaving this job and getting a more conviniently houred job.

Thanks very much for all your responses, I feel a lot clearer about my situation now.

I'm not asking you to tell me what this treatment is, but are you going to be able to have it as well as caring for your baby (regardless of whether you work or not). Is someone going to be able to have the baby for you as you have mentioned having very little support or are you going to be able to take baby along too? If you need childcare whilst this treatment is on-going you might be better off working so you can fund it.

Indie_Kid

Is taking longer materinty leave an option?

savingmummy

C_Mababejive wrote: »

I think you should plan to return to work as soon as is possible. Once you are out of the loop for any kind of length of time,it can be difficult to get back in.

Also explain to the man in this scenario that he actually does have legal and moral obligations to you,the child and the taxpayer.

I totally agree with this. You have a good wage and a full time job very secure for a child!!
Would you want to be unemployed and on benefits?
Childcare don`t have to be expensive if you look around and you can also return to work 6 or 12mths following baby arriving (so check that).
I`m quite shocked your GP has been advising you different tbh :mad:

Some women think it will be fab being at home all day with baby but it is hard for some and a break by going to work is healthy for mum and baby x