Lone parent/IS changes to JSA

AnxiousMum

Welcome to the world of grown ups - along with being a grown up comes being independent.

Before anybody jumps down my throat - I've been there, and done that.

Was never on benefits (as was in Canada at the time, and there you only get to stay home till little one is two - or, back then anyways), but did also feel the need to be able to work around my kids needs.

First I started working part time - 2-1/2 days per week at a local university. Was great - places like that are very accommodating to parents needs towards their children, and I was able to have flexible hours to fit in with childcare needs. I did have to pay childcare though - and as much as I loved being home with my kids, was great to also get out and into the big adult world again and have discussions about something other than Thomas the Tank Engine! By the end of my shifts for the week though - I so looked forward to coming home to my kids - and I felt I was a better mother for it, and my kids benefited tremendously in learning how to interact well with other children WITHOUT mummy standing by ready to intervene at any second.

As they got older, I went on to shift work - and I know that the same jobs are available here and pretty much in the same manner. I was a dispatcher for police services - ambulance and fire halls use them too - and I was able to let them know what shifts I was available for, and the way the shifts worked, was able to work pretty much full time hours, earning a very good wage. Their father took the kids overnight several times a month so that I could work the night shift - and with 7 shifts every two weeks being full time hours, wasn't hard to manage as a single mum. The odd time i had to pay overnight childcare costs - but could still come home and take the kids to school, sleep during the day while they were at school, and pick them up, have dinner together - I went to work again, they went to bed - either with occasional sitter, or at their dads.

Those two children are now older, I have never missed a school sports day, I have never missed anything important to them. I've been able to attend every sporting event, rugby game, etc. and wouldn't trade what I have done any day for being at home on benefits.

I now have three younger children with my new partner, and still don't want to work full time. OH is a teacher - so off all school holidays, but even then, I stayed home with the kids till the youngest was three, and fell upon a job where I work from home, working 'with' schools - so again, term time, and pretty much school hours. I still get to attend all school activities, take them to school (okay, they go to breakfast club so I can get a headstart on the day), and only occasionally, have had to stay at after school club due to me having meetings at a school an hour or two away later in the day.

So, basically, for 20 years, I have been able to work, never been on benefits, but still be there for my kids when I'm needed, or.......just wanted.

It is possible - it just takes a positive attitude and a bit of get up and go.

Just out of curiosity OP - how do you envisage your day? When you take the kids to school, what do you spend your day doing?

If you set your mind to it, I'm sure that a job such as cover supervisor, school dinner lady, part time cleaner - would crop up - in fact, cleaners usually take up the first couple of pages when you do a job search anywhere (I'm always looking, just in case there's something better out there!)

missmontana

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

missmontana wrote: »

I wasn't saying school performances justify staying on benefits, but I've seen the faces of some of the kids whose parents don't turn up because they are working.

Money wise, I still have to pay all the rent and bills on my own!

Why are you having to pay your own rent if you're a lone parent on benefits?

If I went back to work I would have to pay the rent or a percentage of it, I'm really not sure how it works.

AnxiousMum

Okay Missmontana - you say you want some constructive advice - so here goes - but in order to get it, you'll need to answer a few questions, honestly

What education qualifications do you have?
What type of work experience?
What 'interests' you in terms of careers?
Is the children's father around and able to help out with evening childcare at all for the odd evening?
How long have you not been working?
What was your dream job when you were a child?

looby75

missmontana wrote: »

Money wise, I still have to pay all the rent and bills on my own!

I and the OP would really like some constructive advice and not judgement on this issue.

have you had a better off calculation done by your lone parent advisor? You may be very surprised at how much you will receive in housing benefit and council tax benefits to help you pay the rent. I had one done last year and was shocked to be told I will be about £100 A WEEK better off :eek:

I am also facing having to go onto JSA later this year if I still haven't found a job by then and it is VERY worrying. Where I live we have very little childcare, no after school clubs and term time/school hours jobs are rarer than hens teeth because of that. Once people get them they tend to stay in them for a long time. I've been on the "waiting list" for a lunch time assistance job at both the local schools since my daughter started school.....she's in sixth form now :rotfl:Before my ex left I used to work weekends and evenings while he was at home with the kids but obviously that isn't an option anymore and I had to give up my job when he walked out.

My youngest will be 9 in march, I am happy for him to go into childcare in fact I'm sure he would love it, but unfortunately as I've already said there aren't any places for him to go to.

I feel like I've spent the last few years banging my head against a wall and it really is depressing.

missmontana

AnxiousMum, that really is quite inspiring. You are lucky enough to have had the support of the children's father in all of this, not something I would have.

I have a friend that works at the Uni so will ask her about working hours etc.

Thankyou finally for some useful advice.

AnxiousMum

missmontana wrote: »

AnxiousMum, that really is quite inspiring. You are lucky enough to have had the support of the children's father in all of this, not something I would have.

It was court ordered

looby75

AnxiousMum wrote: »

It was court ordered

such a pity it doesn't work that way here I would have loved to have been able to make sure ex carried on helping with childcare after he left, it would have meant I could have continued in a job I really enjoyed and not gone onto benefits

Ex thinks that having the kids once a fortnight over night and paying maintenance is all he needs to do.

missmontana

looby75 wrote: »

have you had a better off calculation done by your lone parent advisor? You may be very surprised at how much you will receive in housing benefit and council tax benefits to help you pay the rent. I had one done last year and was shocked to be told I will be about £100 A WEEK better off :eek:
.

i have an interview this week so will try and figure it al out. Last time they were very vague and I haven't seen the same person twice!

AnxiousMum wrote: »

Okay Missmontana - you say you want some constructive advice - so here goes - but in order to get it, you'll need to answer a few questions, honestly

What education qualifications do you have? I have 10 GCSE's

What type of work experience? Worked in shops, hotels, offices, bars.

What 'interests' you in terms of careers? This is where i struggle, ocs I don't really know! I was never very career focused.

Is the children's father around and able to help out with evening childcare at all for the odd evening? Not really, he works shifts and lives a 20 min drive away.

How long have you not been working? In this country, not since 2002

What was your dream job when you were a child? I wanted to be a hairdresser or a make up artist.

kingfisherblue

I'm going to look at this from another point of view - as someone who would love to work, but can't.

I'm a single mum of three children aged 18, 11 and 10. My 11 year old has special needs and requires care both day and night. The children see their dad every weekend for about six hours.

I gave up work after my thrid child was born, having worked in the same job since I was sixteen. After my middle son was born, I returned to work part time (I had also worked part time when my daughter was younger, but had increased my hours when she started school). After my third child was born, it was too difficult for my mum to help me as often, as my dad had started to develop dementia and other health problems.

A few years later my marriage broke up. My son's needs are increasing as he gets older. He needs a substantial amount of care overnight as well as during the day, so when he is at school, I often try to catch up on some sleep.

I have a mind, though, that needs more than just watching daytime TV or doing endless piles of washing. I cannot commit to a paid job as I need to be there for when my son has countless appointments, or when he is ill (far more frequently than most children - he has a number of health probelms and his immune system is compromised). Instead, I do voluntary work, which I can fit in around my son's needs (and my need for sleep!). I am part of a parent's forum to improve services for disabled children and their parents - so many people are still unaware of what is available, and others are battling for things I fought for ten years ago, so this is important to me. Not everyone has the ability, intelligence, energy, or sheer bloody-mindedness to be able to do this. I don't always have the energy, but I have the rest!

I also volunteer at the local community centre and I run Rainbows and Brownies. It is the nearest that I can get to working, whilst giving me the flexibility that I need.

Childcare for disabled children is not as readily available as it is for those without special needs, and even the centre that provides an after-school club for our children will only take a few - the rest of the children who attend are 'normal', for want of a better word.

So although some people are fortunate enough to be able to work, albeit with sorting out childcare, some of us do not have that option and have to stay on benefits for the forseeable future. Some of us have to accept that our children will never benefit from maturing like most children - my son will always have the mental and emotional age of a child. Some of us have a life of caring ahead of us, as our children will never live independently and there are insufficient and unsuitable plans in place for our children's futures.

I don't seek sympathy and I don't want to judge, but finding part time work or moving from IS to JSA isn't such a big deal in comparison to what some people live with. I'm not saying it is easy - even just being a parent is hard at times - but it isn't insurmountable.

I wish the OP and others in the same situation the very best of luck in finding decent childcare and in their search for suitable employment.

kingfisherblue

A few posts while I was typing - had to nip in and settle my lad again.

Missmontana, could you get supermarket work in shifts that complement your ex's hours? Just a thought, and I know it isn't the most exciting of jobs, but twenty minutes drive isn't too bad and you might be able to work days one week and evenings the next, with your ex looking after the children when he is on an early shift.

looby75, can your lone parent advisor help you find childcare? If not, does your council have a Family Information Service? Ours does, and one part of their role os to help you find suitable childcare, including childminders. maybe this would be an avenue to explore?