Both of us seeing the same councillor – right or wrong?

a-non-y-mous

I have recently been for about 7 sessions of counselling, much of it was to do with relationship issues in general and some problems I have having with my partner.

The next stage was that we have some couple counselling together – having spoken with my partner she was happy to try the same person I was using for my sessions so she went for a one to one to see if she was happy talking to the councillor I had seen.

She has just got back and has expressed an interest in getting her own counselling (some issues with her folks and no doubt me!)

She has asked if I would be happy with her seeing the same councillor I have seen and is about to do our couple counselling.

Is that weird? Is it wrong for us to both have the same councillor for everything?

floss2

Your counsellor is a professional, aren't they? Do you see the same Doctor? It's the same sort of thing... Professional counsellors will have confidentiality, just as a Doctor does.

ameliarate

actually it might be better as they will be getting a truer picture of what is going on if they get both sides of the story.

Errata

It's not a decision that is hers to make on her own, the counsellor will also have to agree.

a-non-y-mous

Councillor is happy as long as we both are...possible due to piles of money she is taking off us.

I also understand that she already has built up a picture of me and that would help with the o/h discussions.

Its just strange knowing that one person, you hardly know knows more about our deepest thoughts and feelings than we do after 7 years.

I can see lots of advantages, just feels odd.

I suppose in theory it can only help that she already knows me.

HeatherH

I think you would have to ask the counsellor whether they would be ok to take her on. As it can be against some of the counselling ethics.

Gemsgalore

a-non-y-mous wrote: »

Councillor is happy as long as we both are...possible due to piles of money she is taking off us.

I also understand that she already has built up a picture of me and that would help with the o/h discussions.

Its just strange knowing that one person, you hardly know knows more about our deepest thoughts and feelings than we do after 7 years.

I can see lots of advantages, just feels odd.

I suppose in theory it can only help that she already knows me.

I'm not so sure. Knowing you both could make her biased as she may well take a dislike to one of you (councellors are only human). I don't think she would admit to it being a bad idea as like you said.....the piles of money.....

belfastgirl23

If you feel odd about it then you should say so. After all surely one of the things counselling is supposed to do is help you to express your feelings? Maybe you both need a session with her together to discuss this?

Lotus-eater

I think if you trust the counsellor, then it should be fine. Any doubts that come up from either of you at any time, it may need a rethink.

savingmummy

It would seem to me to be a good thing. The counsellor will then get to know you both and see things from both sides.

Just out of interest couldn`t you get free/cheaper support?
I have heard that some family centres do fantastic family counselling x

Debt_Free_Chick

a-non-y-mous wrote: »

Councillor is happy as long as we both are...possible due to piles of money she is taking off us.

I also understand that she already has built up a picture of me and that would help with the o/h discussions.

Its just strange knowing that one person, you hardly know knows more about our deepest thoughts and feelings than we do after 7 years

After 7 sessions you may not realise this but ... counselling is about YOU knowing YOU ... and using that knowledge to understand your own behaviour and how you view others.

Your counsellor is not there to explain anything to you, just to help you find your own explanations.

HTH