I need all the support I can get right now! - update!

Jacobs_Crackers

Hi all!
I would really appreciate just a few words of encouragement. I am another one of those people who has been keeping their debt from their other half but have come to the conclusion to tell him either later tonight when he gets home from work or tomorrow. I am so ashamed of myself - that I have the debt in the first place and that I've also kept it from him. When we first got together I never intended for it to go on for this long, but it has got harder and harder to tell him. He is so anti debt. We're supposed to be getting married in September but have convinced myself there won't be any wedding. I was meant to be on a long day at work today, but had to come home sick at tea time, I don't feel at all well, I feel so sick & have got a thumping headache - I'm sure it's just through worry.
JC.

chickencurry

Sending you lots of love, I'm sure it will all work out ok in the end, just stay strong xxx

Jacobs_Crackers

I am so scared. Don't know what to do with myself.

linz

All the best, i'm sure he'll see that you are being open and honest with him sooner rather than later, when you're married. And hopefully you can convince him how regretful you are, how determined you are to get out of debt and how hard you are prepared to work towards that goal. Being honest is always the best way. Good luck.

wuzzypoo

Hi Jacobs,

Good luck with telling your other half, I'm sure once you have told him he will be fine, and you never know he might have an idea anyway if things have been getting you down. Somone else on here was in the exact same situation as you last week, she told her other half who she was to marry later this year and he was fine and very supportive, so I'm sure it'll be the same for you.

Let him know you have or are looking into sorting this out, and that you are/have contacting one of the debt management companies mentioned on here (please don't go with one of the one's you have to pay). The one I'm with is Payplan, but the others around are CCCS and national debt line, I'm sure someone on here will be able to give you some more info on these. People may also ask you to post your statement of affairs (SOA) so they can see your income and outgoings then they can normally offer advice on where you could cut back, but I'm sure you'll get round to that shortly now you've decided to deal with your debts.

Good luck for tonight.

Wuzz

Jacobs_Crackers

Thanks guys. I've already got my dmp set up with payplan, & its going okay. I'm hoping that this is something that will help me out when I'm telling him, showing him that there will be an end to it. It's just the guilt & shame that's eating away at me now. I wish I had a crystal ball so I could see how exactly he would react so I could prepare myself, but I don't think it's going to be a great reaction at all.

vaporate

I would not punish yourself. If the guy is worth his salt, he will be understanding.

Nargleblast

He will be shocked but it's better he knows now than after the wedding. It will be easier for him to accept if you have a proper debt repayment scheme organised and a budget worked out, that will prove you are serious about resolving the issue. I wish you all the best of luck in telling him the news, it won't be easy for you, and you will have some difficult conversations with him over the next few days at least, but as someone else said, if he's worth anything, he will stand by you in all this.

savingmummy

Good luck.
I hope it goes ok, keep us updated x

katsu

Good luck JC. Explain to him that you are agreeing with him it is not good to be in debt - hence being in a DMP, not taking out any more debt and dealing with the debt you have. DFWs are "proud to be dealing with my debts" - let that be your motto. You are not proud you got into debt but it takes a responsible person to deal with their debts, and it is that responsible person he is marrying.

Also help him understand what has changed for you, so he knows you will never be in this situation again.

Lots of posters and lurkers are rooting for you tonight. Go for it

Jacobs_Crackers

Thanks everyone, I really do appreciate your kind words of encouragement. I may be a late poster tonight, as my fiance is finishing work very late. I therefore don't know if it will all happen tonight or tomorrow. Either way I'll keep you all posted. Not going to get much sleep whatever happens.